Anthony Bourdain Really Hates Cadillacs

November 8th, 2012 // 27 Comments
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When we last left Anthony Bourdain he was mocking Paula Deen for turning her diabetes diagnosis into a pharmaceutical endorsement deals that fleeces everyone else she pumped full of butter fried sugar, sugah. This time around he’s biting the hand that feeds him after The Travel Channel decided to slap a bunch of Cadillacs in promo spots for No Reservations, making it look like he’s shilling for GM. This lead to a series of hilarious angry tweets involving splooging all over dashboards, so immediately my interest was piqued. Via E! News:

“F–king Cadillac. Greedy venal #travelchannel ad sales motherf–kers,” he railed in one post.
“I do NOT drive a Cadillac. And now I never will. #travelchannel,” he castigated in another.
He didn’t stop there: Bourdain, who’s no stranger to verbal throwdowns (hello, Paula Deen!), then launched into a bunch of Sopranos-worthy tweets about whacking people and stuffing them into Cadillacs.
“There’s a dead prostitute in the trunk of my #Cadillac,” he cracked in one tweet, before adding, “Wow! I can fit TWO bodies in full rigor in the trunk [of] a #Cadillac! Awesome!”
Not even bodily fluids were spared.
“#Cadillac The blood and spooge wipe right off!” he sniped, and then finished things off with this zinger: “If you blow your load on a #cadillac dashboard it wipes clean off!”

Of course, this might just be amazing to me because my reaction to these situations is do whatever the hell it takes to never get dressed and/or leave the house. I’ve done things that are only legal in Thailand, that’s how badly I hate changing out of pajama pants to interact with people. “Swine,” I call you. “Filthy, filthy swine.” Unless you have breasts then I mostly just slink into the shadows and bide my time. Wow, that came out wrong.

Photo: Getty

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  1. They did that to my show too. Fuckers wanted me to drive around in a LUXURY car. I said, ‘Bitch, please, I’m trying to show some REALNESS here.’

    Fucking Hollywood. They just. Don’t. Get. It.

  2. JC

    This seems like the kind of reaction you should save for when your network takes ad money from the Klan or neo-Nazis, not a car company that only old people like.

    • throbbing member

      Fuckin A. Ratings must be down…this is a desperate plea for attention, and of course to look uber-cool. Phony bastard.

  3. Paul L.

    So nothing Rush Limbaugh says should be taken seriously because he is a former drug addict.
    Does that standard apply to this guy?

    • Jesus Christ, reach much? Just how butthurt are you that your favorite gasbag lost major sponsors through his own idiocy and vicousness?

      Yup, nothing Rush Limbaugh says should be taken seriously. Not because he’ a former drug addict, but because he’s a current fucking hypocrite – for years he pranced around, styling himself a “drug warrior”, ranting about how drugs are destroying the moral fiber of the country and how too many whites were getting away with drug offenses, and they should be convicted and sent up – all while he was getting high on illegally obtained hillbilly heroin.

      Bourdain never set himself up as anyone’s moral compass, and he never shilled for any drug dealers or promoted a line of Midnight Smacks. In addition, he’s probably smart enough to know that the government isn’t being asked to pay for Paula Deen’s butter and sugar, and that if you do buy a pound of Land o’ Lakes and 5 lb bag of Domino’s, it doesn’t automatically mean that you’re eating dessert 5 times a day.

      • Just got a great idea for when I run out of dessert in the house.

      • If you’re thinking of fried butter rolled in sugar, TomFrank, that makes you a slut.

      • ugh

        Nothing Rush says should be taken seriously, since he is a shill for the corporatist leaders of our country, simple and plain.
        Nothing Bourdain says should be either. He tries so hard to be ‘hard’ and ‘edgy.’ “Kitchen Nightmares” (the book that supposedly landed him the TV gig) is proof positive, and was poorly written and rife with spelling and usage mistakes. [Yes, I read it.] Oh, and he is a shill for the corporatist culture as well; he’s on TV, fur focks sake.

  4. Deacon Jones

    He and Gwyneth Paltrow always pal around.

    I’d figured she’d have more class than letting herself get nailed in a Cadillac, the pig.

  5. Lissa

    Sober Charlie Sheen is going to meet his version of Chuck Lorre and get fired soon enough with those kind of comments! At least Charlie had the excuse of being high the whole time he said stupid, insulting stuff.

  6. Bane

    What about the credit card he was shilling a year or so ago?

    He got called out on that one and poof it disappeared.

    BS…….

    • ugh

      HA excellent point…whoring for the banksters is fine, yet he now screams with righteous indignation about Caddy commercials. Uh, alrighty then.

  7. Cadillac Jack

    It’s pretty obvious this dude has never owned a Caddy, he would have known that the correct answer is 4… you can fit 4 dead hookers in the trunk. Unless we’re talking CTS, then ~ 2.5.

    • lawn

      I have an EXT, I’ve squeezed six of them in there a couple of times.

      • Schmidtler

        I had a ’72 El Dorado convertible, you could stack the hookers in the trunk of that thing like cord wood. The extra weight also helped keep the ass end from fishtailing around sharp turns in wet weather.

  8. FYou

    Given how liberal he is I thought he’d be the perfect shill for Obama Motors. Weird.

  9. chicka

    great, now I have to go climb the fence into the neighbor’s house and dry-hump his cadillac in a blind rage! brb

  10. Poop head

    He’s a pompous douche royale with cheese.

  11. it had to be said

    That Anthony Bourdain. He really knows how to keep it real. That boy is incorrigible. It’s almost like fewer people would have heard about the ad had Bourdain not had this freak out. Almost like a *good* thing for Cadillac to have him launching tweets about Cadillac. Notice that Cadillac is named as Cadillac in all of his Cadillac tweets.

    You’re not fooling me, Bourdain.

    Also, “GMC” is a different group than “GM” which is the parent of Cadillac. GMC is more like a sister company to Cadillac.

    • cherrylipgloss

      Absolutely. He’s continuing to keep Cadillac in the forefront with his angry rants, replete with his trademark grammatical errors. Reading his repulsive tweets only served to make me side with Caddy. Can anyone say positively that he’s not in a drug addled state of mind? Sure sounds that way.

  12. achilles wrath

    Who?

  13. Wow good thing #travelchannel didn’t go with Depends. #getoveryourself

  14. You're a fucking cook!!

    I bet that smug asshat didn’t have a hard time cashing the checks from the travel channel though. Sounds more like sour grapes since his shit show is ending. What a fucking self important blowhard.

  15. Wonder how much he’ll freak if Sandra Lee Cuomo is our next First Lady.

  16. this guy is so full of himself- a classic Manhattan elitist.
    so he gets mad about his employer trying to make a buck?
    what a jerk!

  17. So what this tells me is that Travel Channel’s market research showed a lot of mild-mannered old people form a big chunk of Bourdain’s audience. I bet that’s what he’s really pissed about, because he thinks he’s way cooler than that.

  18. CeCe

    Pretentious fuck.

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