Anne Hathaway Didn’t Like Some Eggs, Life As We Know It Has Ended
“Did you send back my eggs?!”
“The Hathaways have sent back eggs for generations. You knew what this was.”
Yesterday was Columbus Day, so I didn’t want to take the risk that some of you might miss the scandal of the century because it’s not every day that someone orders food, and then repeatedly sends that food back because it didn’t meet their impossible expectations. It’s practically unheard of. But today’s a new day, so here’s Anne Hathaway doing exactly that because she’s the goddamn devil incarnate. TMZ reports:
Hathaway was on the Paramount lot last week shooting a Japanese commercial when she ordered breakfast — a poached egg, along with an English muffin and avocado.
The guys catering the shoot were going crazy, because she sent the dish back 4 TIMES!!
1st try: Poached egg too runny.
2nd try: English muffin was cold because it sat while egg #2 was being poached.
3rd try: Egg #2 cold because it sat while chef toasted muffin #2.
4th try: Egg, muffin and avocado were perfect, but it took so long she decided she was in the mood for a fried egg.
Normally, this is the part where I go, “In blah blah blah’s defense,” but there is no defense here because anyone who bitches about eggs should be executed in the street. However, I will hear arguments in the form of that time you could see Anne Hathaway’s vagina.
Fun Fact: This happened three years ago. Three whole years. I’d ask what we’ve all been doing with our lives, but I try not to feel suicidal before noon. It’s a little game I play.