Anna Nicole Smith’s will has been leaked and apparently it leaves everything to her dead son Daniel. The will was written in 2001 and wasn’t updated after the birth of her daughter Dannielynn Hope. Howard K. Stern is named as the executor of her estate and there’s a clause in the document that says: “I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse, including any future spouses or children” meaning Dannielynn will be excluded and receive nothing.
Now every single one of those people claiming to be the father is going to issue statements saying they were just kidding. They’d probably be like ten feet away from the paternity testing facility when they heard the news, then they’d slow down, casually turn the other direction, and start sprinting away.
danielle | February 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Wheeee!!!!!!!!!!
kimpossible | February 16, 2007 at 12:23 pm
poor dannielynn. truly sad
grape | February 16, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Could this be any more twisted?
Jedi Kevin | February 16, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Can this *please* be the last ANS story. Ever.
jrzmommy | February 16, 2007 at 12:26 pm
They better keep underfeeding Dannielynn – seems like she’ll have to make it on her looks alone, just like her mom. That’s touching in its own special way. Speaking of special touching, somebody tell her to stay away from RichPort…
littleredcorvette | February 16, 2007 at 12:27 pm
what is it with guys names Howard Stern and dirty money?
NotANiceGirl | February 16, 2007 at 12:29 pm
It seems almost impossible that this could happen. She lives with HKS and he’s got to be sitting there saying update this when Dannilynn was born & after Daniel died. Daniel was dead long enough to deal with something that important that even a bottom feeder like Stern could have tactifully handled sometime between the commitment ceremony all other BS. She had non-stop legal drama- how do you not have full awareness over how much an iron clad will matters and keeping it current?
crazybroad | February 16, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Trust me, there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL that ANS’s will is going to stand up in court (probate). The sad thing is that by the time all the legal wrangling is over, the attorneys will be rich and there will be nothing left for the baby anyway.
danielle | February 16, 2007 at 12:33 pm
You know, The Maury show could learn a very valuable lesson from all of this.
You have all the street whores who continue to plague the show with sob stories about not being able to find the father of their babies.
All ya gotta do is tell the broads to:
Marry an old fart..
Wait til he dies..
Go to court to claim half of his loot..kill your baby(s)..
Have another baby and claim to not know who the father is..&
Die..
The father’s will ccome froward in no time flat. BUT..you have to make sure to do the DNA testing BEFORE releasing information about a will.
Damn Maury, look at all the money I just saved your ass.
No more $1000 paternity tests to waste.
NotANiceGirl | February 16, 2007 at 12:33 pm
That money is f-ing cursed! This whole thing is ridiculous
Ramdonomo | February 16, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Okay, other than the fact that everyone and they grandmammy wants to take care of that baby ANYWAY just because of the fame?
Yeah, that’s just too funneh.
Jedi Kevin | February 16, 2007 at 12:35 pm
She’s Anna Nicole Smith. This story cannot end happy.
Just wait for the “E True Hollywood Special” to see how it all ends.
Jesus El Saviooor-rrrrrrrrrr Christ! | February 16, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Hey, howsabout a thank you, ya ingrates? Britney just joined Lindsay in rehab, Paris got trashed in public, and ANuS is literally rotting away in a morgue. I got tired of waiting around for you “free will” fucks to do something. You’re welcome.
fergernauster | February 16, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Stern is a red-rim-eyed reptile and an embarrassingly shitty actor (witness his recent bogus on-camera, tear-filled production.)
So long as the beaked reptilian lawyer receives ZERO from the ANS estate, justice will be served. In my opinion, Daniellynne – or whatever silly name was bestowed on that infant – would also be best served inheriting nothing. Perhaps then she’d have a better chance at a “normal” life, devoid of the same sort of lecherous scum that constantly plagued her mother.
On that note, I additionally suspect that she (Anna Nicole’s unfortunately named baby daughter) will be “slow” in some respect(s), due to the certain ingestion of drugs/meds in utero.
Why am I even commenting on all this tripe? I sure as hell don’t give a f*ck.
GapToothedAssBitch | February 16, 2007 at 12:40 pm
And the saga continues.
Tiny Tim | February 16, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Tip toe through the tulips…
JollyJumjuck | February 16, 2007 at 12:44 pm
#12:
She’s Anna Nicole Smith. This story cannot end. Period. Regardless of how much we all *want* the “news” to stop. Like a corpse injected with Worchestershire sauce, the ANS “legacy” will shamble and lurch about with a life of its own.
jrzmommy | February 16, 2007 at 12:48 pm
How many whited-out sections with “to be given to Howard K. Stern” written over them (in Howard K. Stern’s handwriting) are there?
sid | February 16, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Okay, I know posting the same thing more than once ain’t cool, but I wrote this song parody, see? I posted this-first time-in the original ANS thread, AFTER 400 posts had been made, and just before it got wiped, so…most of you missed it.
I posted again in a MINOR ANS thread after it had 70+ posts, which means most of you missed it there, too.
So, here it is, for the third and last time, EARLY in a new ANS thread.
My apologies to those of you who already read it.
Ahem…ready? Here goes:
Whore in the Wind
Goodbye Anna Nicole
Though you never blew me at all
You had the wisdom to get implants
Because your tits were so very small
You crawled out of the woodwork
And you whispered into the brain
Of an aging Playboy
And his magazine made your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a whore in the wind
Always knowing who to cling to
When the bills came in
And I would have liked to have blown you
But I was just a kid
Your career burned out long before
My boner ever did
Your marriage was tough
The toughest role you ever played
That old billionaire made you a superstar
And money was the price he paid
You got fat as a house
And then burned it off so easily
While you made a fool of yourself
On reality TV
Then you rose again like Britney
As a colossal pain in the ass
A celebrity for no reason
For an audience with no class
Even when you died
Oh the press cut you down to size
All the papers had to say
Was that you fucked up your childrens’ lives
Goodbye Anna Nicole
From the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as nothing more than sexual
No more than just a stupid ho
MrSemprini | February 16, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Did you say its in her will?
Look there is another pill.
Cute little baby passes gas.
Howard Stern has got no class.
Poor little Daniel had to die.
Howard said that boy must fry.
Methadone is fun to use.
Try some now, what can you lose?
Today’s lesson brought to you by the letters I, R and S and the number 462 million.
Whammer Jammer | February 16, 2007 at 12:53 pm
#4: I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing about this stuff for years to come.
Spock's Left Nut | February 16, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I hate injecting a lawyerly thought into this discussion, but I doubt an unborn child can be disinherited. Dannielynn’s got a chance still. For money, that is. To have a normal life? Hell, no. She’s got ANS’s genes and that of some man moronic enough to insert his junk into ANS. This is kind of a reverse eugenics experiment on how dumb a human you might create.
Flip21 | February 16, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I think that means everything goes to her mother. If the terms of a will can’t be fulfilled, the estate transfers by intestate succession. Seeing as the will forbids any of her spouses or other children get nothing, intestate succession leaves her mom as the beneficiary.
Have to look at the intestancy laws of the state she lived in, though.
PaisleyMoon | February 16, 2007 at 12:55 pm
That poem is not only tasteless (who’d complain about that here?) but, sounds like it was penned by a third grade boy. In special ed. While pooping his pants.
Flip21 | February 16, 2007 at 12:56 pm
get nothing => from getting anything
Spock's Left Nut | February 16, 2007 at 1:01 pm
It’s all about the relevant state’s law on pretermitted heirs. Is Howard K. Stern a real lawyer?
fearsarewishes | February 16, 2007 at 1:03 pm
#18 “whited-out sections” – would you please give the fucking racist comments a fucking break??? Thank you.
Josh_Lavarn | February 16, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Now all the men claiming to be the father will jet because they were all lowlife deadbeat dads to begin with. It probably is a good thing her daughter will not get a dime, or else we would have endure another Paris Hilton slut in 2025. Plus, Anna was just a big prostitute that cost millions for that old guy. All that money is dirty.
Songster | February 16, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Lightning crashes a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door
Lightning crashes an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now to the baby down the hall
Jedi Kevin | February 16, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Who would ever exclude future children from a will? That just sounds so fishy.
You know HKS burned the real will and made this new one that names him as the beneficiary (after Dan, of course).
The Hunt | February 16, 2007 at 1:14 pm
The language of the will is paramount. If it states that she is intentionally omitting spouses, she has room for that. Omitting children is much harder and is more contestable than her claim to the Marshall fortune. As the only biological heir, the baby under succession statutes has the right to claim the estate in priority to all others. Her custodian, who will likely also be made trustee of the estate, will recieve a yearly stipend for management of the fund and care of the child. Normally that is 1.75% to 3%. As a minor the state can review the investment portfolio to ensure it is very conceservative. It would be almost impossible for the baby not to have the estate. I suspect this story is all about who is guardian and trustee, because there is money on all levels to be made (custodian: 4%, trustee: 4%; daily stipend and income for maintaining lifestyle: ??? – and you get to live the lifestyle with the baby as she would have lived had you been mommy with the money from Mr. Marshall).
yukball | February 16, 2007 at 1:21 pm
The operative words quoted from her will / trust are “intentionally omitted”. She did not say something like ‘disinherited’. I’m not familiar with Florida or Texas rules, but under California rules, and in certain estate planning setups, you intentionally _omit_ future children precisely because the state law sees to it that any such children born after the estate planning documents were created will automatically be included in an equal share. With the unfortunate death of the brother, that baby should get most or all of the estate. So, breaking a primary rule of attorneys and commenting on a document I haven’t seen, and probably from a different jurisdiction, I doubt there’s anything really wrong there. I expect you’ll see attorneys on CourtTV sorting this out over the next few days.
misanthrope | February 16, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Not sure but I think the laws in the Bahamas are different… Howard has rights as the ‘civil spouse’. I saw it somewhere yesterday. I hope he gets screwed though.
Delilah | February 16, 2007 at 1:28 pm
So actually, I think that last sentence can be interpreted in more than one way-
“I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse, including any future spouses or children”
Obviously we all take this to mean HER future spouses or children, but couldn’t it mean instead the future spouses or children of the spouse she’s talking about in the sentence? Meaning if he (whoever she’s talking about) remarries and has kids, those people get nothing?
I wonder if that clause was written by a lawyer, because it’s pretty ambiguous if you ask me.
sid | February 16, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I’m not getting a lot of love for my song, but at least I’m inspiring some rhymes.
Join in, folks.
misanthrope | February 16, 2007 at 1:41 pm
@35… I like the song, really I do. Very pretty. I’m puzzled by this line:
‘And I would have liked to have blown you’
So, did Anna have a penis? And if so, you would have liked to blown it? Or did you mean you’d have liked her to blow you?
jrzmommy | February 16, 2007 at 1:44 pm
“sid, the song lyrics were the best I’ve ever seen! You’re a VERY TALENTED WRITER!”
There.
Now please stop posting it. It’s become a piece of toilet paper stuck on the foot of every thread.
fearsarewishes | February 16, 2007 at 1:46 pm
jrzmommy…#27 is a troll.
Justice | February 16, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Not necessarily: since Daniel predeceased (died before) Anna Nicole, and since he didn’t leave any heirs of his own, his gift will lapse (fail). Therefore, since there is no one to take under the will, the portion left to Daniel will pass intestate (as if she didn’t have a will). So, Dannielynn will inherit 100% of her estate as her sole surviving heir. That’s the law in CA, which I assume is where the will was executed and therefore likely where the will is going to be probated.
RichPort | February 16, 2007 at 1:56 pm
One key fact being lost here is that, if there were a perfect antidote to the feeling you get during an intense orgasm, it would closely resemble a technical legal discussion.
misanthrope | February 16, 2007 at 2:05 pm
@40… :)
biatcho | February 16, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I am going to sleep better at night knowing what predeceased finally means.
crazybroad | February 16, 2007 at 2:15 pm
#23 & 31: Did you guys actually pay attention to this stuff in law school?!?! Sad to say you missed the perfect opportunity to throw in a misguided reference to the rule against perpetuities …
I absolutely hate to say it, but I’m with #40 on this thread.
Smackage | February 16, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Hopefully the dad is one of the less sleazy guys with the least amount of money. That would probably be best for the baby.
crazybroad | February 16, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Oh, and I apologize to all of you, since I guess I started it @ 8. It won’t happen again, I promise.
misanthrope | February 16, 2007 at 2:19 pm
@42… Well done. I kept reading that as ‘prediseased’. Sequel means the movie after the first movie… just thought you should know. ;)
sid | February 16, 2007 at 2:19 pm
36: “I’m puzzled by this line: ‘And I would have liked to have blown you’ So, did Anna have a penis? And if so, you would have liked to blown it? Or did you mean you’d have liked her to blow you?”
There are lines in the original song that you can’t throw away. “Known you.”
What could I do? “Thrown you?” Any other words would need more words, so “blown you” was just a weak reference to oral sex, but it still works.
Glad you liked it :)
37: Uh, I already said that was the last time, and explained it all.
What an idiot you are!
Naruelle | February 16, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I feel terrible for the girl.. >.< little girl just lost all of her family and she’s a bastard child so who the fuck knows who her daddy is.. it might be a friggin alien because i mean.. it’s Anna Nicole Smith.
diavolobella | February 16, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Nope. The baby will still get the money. There are no other living heirs, and the baby is the immediate next of kin. Also, it is mandated by law that minor children be provided for first in a deceased parent’s estate, so the baby gets it all. Period. That’s the law.
If the child was over 18, it’s another story, but since she’s minor, she most definitely WILL get all the money. I know of what I speak, being an attorney.
greatestntheworld | February 16, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Seriously, there needs to be an initiative to sterelize Anna Nicole types. Britney should be next. We do not need these people reproducing.