Kid From ‘Two And A Half Men’ Finds Jesus, Tells People To Stop Watching ‘Two And A Half Men’

November 26th, 2012 // 130 Comments
Angus T Jones
WATCH: Angus T. Jones Find Jesus, Calls For 'Men' Boycott
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Donna D'Errico
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“I mean, c’mon, you guys, there’s lesbians on this show. Lesbians. One’s even touching me!”

Before we even get into this random and beautiful slice of irony the Internet has prepared for us this day, let’s all agree that exposing a young boy to both Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher can only end in one of two horrible fates: OD’ing on bath salts after being fired from doing shit porn or Christianity. Which is why it really shouldn’t be that surprising that the kid from Two Half And A Half Men, Angus T. Jones, found religion at the tender age of 19 except he followed it up by making an online video testimony (above) where he encourages people to stop watching Two And A Half Men. Via HuffPost Entertainment:

In a video interview with the religious website Forerunner Chronicles, Jones spoke out against the show and called it “filth.”
“If you watch ‘Two and a Half Men,’ please stop watching ‘Two and a Half Men,’” Jones says around the 7:45 mark in the video below, which the website billed as “The Testimony of the Awakening of [a] star.” “I’m on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ and I don’t want to be on it. Please stop watching it, please stop filling your head with filth,” he continues.
“People say it’s just entertainment,” he said. “Do some research on the effects of television and your brain, and I promise you, you’ll have a decision to make when it comes to television, especially with what you watch on television. It’s bad news.”

Having lived through years of religious indoctrination, and shortly succumbing to it when I was 17, I had a hard time sitting through this video (So I didn’t. SWISH.) and could go on for hours about Christianity preying on the anxiety and confusion of adolescence to guilt teens into their horseshit. That said, this kid’s trying to tank the ratings for Two And A Half Men, so now I don’t know what to believe anymore. This changes everything…

Photo: Getty


  1. Duh

    He knows Jesus doesn’t give paychecks, right?

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    You shouldn’t be watching that tripe, solely because it is tripe.

    If anything, your god will judge thee negatively just because it’s terrible television.

    • Schmidtler

      So you’re saying I’m ok watching ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’, even though it’s filthy as shit, because that’s a funny goddamned show right there?

  3. YoMamma

    I hope he’s planning to donate his millions of dollars over years of acting on that piece of shit show to some batshit crazy religious group – wouldn’t want to spend any of that dirty money, right?

    What a crock of shit.

  4. EricLr

    Wow, talk about doing the right thing for the wrong reason, huh? Good luck to you and your sky god on this one, kid!

  5. achilles wrath

    Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! I stopped watching that show after Charlie Sheen left, it was drivel.

  6. When he gives away every penny he’s made from being on the show, then I’ll stop watching the show.

  7. El Jefe

    I always hated him on the show. Shitty actor, weak character and should have been killed off years ago. On top of that he just looks and acts slow. His character as a soldier is just laughable and Miley Cyrus must have wanted to puke having to pretend that she was attracted to him.

    If this jackass felt this way, then why did he sign a new contract for a very healthy $350,000 an episode? He could have and should have just quit. If they had never brought him back no one would have noticed or cared.

    • Someone introduced this show to me last year, first in the reruns and then in a first-run episode on CBS. I literally said, “That’s the same kid?” because Holy Growth Spurt, Batman. I suspect they could have replaced Jones between seasons and no one would have noticed the way we did with Lionel Jefferson and Darrin Stephens.

    • Brooke

      I haven’t seen an episode of the show in years and years, but if this kid means it then yeah, he should absolutely quit. He had a golden opportunity to quit when Sheen was fired… The show would have ended right there.

      I don’t think there is anything wrong with finding faith in almost any religion (as long as you aren’t a dick and hurting people somehow), but the high and mighty better than thou attitude he’s got is a bit annoying. Typical for his age, since he is pretty sure he’s totally right about his choice and the rest of the world isn’t as clever as he is, but still annoying. I just hope his new community doesn’t try to suck him dry, because despite what people think not every church out there is after every single dime their followers make.

  8. dontkillthemessenger

    He wants people to stop watching the show only after he’s made an unconscionable amount of money (highest paid teen on TV at one point) from it. Sure.

  9. brian

    My prediction 2 and a Half Men will now experience a 25% spike in viewership.

  10. Jimmy

    It’s true that no one should watch that show but the reason has nothing to do with Jesus

  11. In 2010 Angus T. Jones signed a two year deal with Two and a Half Men for a guaranteed $7.8 million for the next two seasons and a $500,000 signing bonus.

    So, fuck you Angus.

  12. joe

    Another enlistee for Cameron’s Army of Hollywood Hypocrites.

  13. Monty83

    Nice Angus, agree with all of above except, replace “Two and a Half Men” with “Everything on TV”

  14. socks

    This is giving me mixed feelings about my practice of Atheism.

  15. Michael Savage

    Well i guess i am doing what he wants, i never watched that crap to start with.

  16. mrsmass

    better ride this gravy train while you can little boy. i don’t see a great future for your in the biz, mainly because you’re a shitty actor.

    • karlito

      funny thing though…when he was first on the show he was considered one of the best child actors on TV for his quick delivery and natural poise in front of a camera. i guess as he got older he became more self conscious and stiffer in front of the camera.

  17. I can’t take a kid who is named after my steak dinner seriously.

  18. Deacon Jones

    Man, is it me or is that black guy pretty gay, especially with the awkward hand on knee moment? Maybe he joined the church so he could pray the gay away, ala Michelle Bachmann’s flaming husband..

    And one of my favorite quotes –
    “You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons,
    sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky,
    people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive
    stories, and you say that WE are the ones that need help?”
    — Mark Twain

  19. karlito

    it’s the 1950′s era glasses that are doing that to him.

  20. It’s a little difficult to take seriously someone who says “this show is terrible, you shouldn’t watch it”, while collecting paychecks to appear in it.

    His thought process seems as rock solid as the character he portrays.

    • I find it difficult to take him seriously because he’s a fucking 19 year-old child. And not a very bright one, at that. Hell, I’ve got clothing older than he is.

      • While that’s fair, if he had said “I think the show is bad, and I’m quitting” I’d actually have a lot of respect for him. I don’t agree, but I can respect someone who has the stomach to stand by their principles.

        But the outrageous hypocrisy of participating and collecting a paycheck for doing something you claim to think is terrible and damaging should be obvious to even a 19 year old.

  21. it had to be said

    Man, I think I’m a lesbian, because the only time in my life I’ve ever been attracted to Miley is since she got her hair cut. Also, I am trapped in a man’s body.

  22. mismy

    Well, he’s half right. Next he needs to awaken to the manipulation & brain-washing of organized religion.

  23. rican

    He doesn’t want to be on it, but is evidently committed to the paycheck. So money trumps beliefs in the end. Typical Hollywood moron speak.

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  25. Frank Burns

    I agree with him not watching the show is not Christian! It says so in the bible, Book of Grover, verse Snuffalupaguss 3:16, “Thou shalt not watch the Kutcher, for he is unto a douchebag”.

  26. Rchard Harrow

    Contact with Miley Cyrus caused him to renounce Hollywood and take up Christianity. Can’t blame him really, Miley Cyrus talks like she was conceived in the Walmart Car Care Tire storage area by a seriously retarded southern inbred

    • Mike Hunt

      Can’t get Miley Cyrus’s voice out of my head , that strange screechy southern drawl , coupled with 3 firing neurons …. must find relief , must get voice out of my head … driving me crazy … maybe screechy voice is the byproduct of screaming over those Walmart tire machines , maybe Walmart Tire center will bring me relief ….

  27. Moo Cow Hunter

    And people thought Chuck Lorre was just paranoid for putting a Charlie Sheen clause in everyone’s contract lately. Ironically, Angus T. Jones’s agent now regrets NOT putting a Charlie Sheen clause in his agent contract.

  28. Sheppy

    Might be why I received this this morning:

    “Thank you for ordering tickets for TWO AND A HALF MEN on Friday, December 7. We were just contacted by the show s production office and informed that they will be filming WITHOUT a studio audience due to a complicated script which makes shooting before an audience difficult.

    Please see our website for updated information about alternate shows available on that date.
    We re sorry for any inconvenience and thank you again for your interest in TWO AND A HALF MEN.”

    …and before anyone asks, filmings are free, ok!

  29. jim eh

    While she’s not pretty, there’s something about her that I wanna bang.

  30. So I’m sure the next thing he did was give away every godless dime it made him, right? :)

  31. Armand

    Religious Indoctrination? Funny how having religious beliefs becomes indoctrination but telling five year olds in school that dudes sucking cocks is okay is considered tolerance.

    • vandal


    • brian

      Religious Indoctrination is telling others what to do and what not to and what is right and isn’t right. to do which is what he sound like he’s trying to do. This is what makes me fed up about most organized religion. I think I’ll figure out what is morally right for myself rather than any institution be it a church/synagogue/temple/mosque/etc or a school tell me what is.
      And how is dudes sucking cock less okay the a woman sucking cock If you believe that’s wrong so be it, I’m not gonna try and and convince you plus do you really believe that’s what they are teaching five year olds about, blowjobs, unless it’s a metaphor?
      I bet your not even gonna finish reading this which is fine my me.

      • Yo, Armand…NOBODY tells five-year-olds that men sucking cock is OK. But children absolutely should be taught the tolerance which leads them to eventually believe that there’s nothing wrong with people who live that lifestyle. Fucking bigots — and the utter nonsensical bullshit they spew — make me sick.

    • You really should be addressing the school board or the cops if that is what’s actually happening in your childs’ school. Unless you’re just being an inflammatory fear-mongering twat kebob.

      • I smell twat kebab. See, Armand doesn’t actually have any kids, nor does he have the slightest idea about what actually happens in a classroom these days, since the odds are his family doesn’t give him a great deal of access to any that they might have themselves. This is due to the fact that his fevered imagination is working overtime, churning out runaway fantasies of what those “liberal” or “tolerant” people he’s so afraid of might allow if “religious indoctrination” and a consequentialist God weren’t factors. See, he’s probably convinced himself that sex ed class at a primary level actually HAS live sex demonstrations, rather than just the concept of teaching kids the correct anatomical terms for their various body parts.

        No, Armand, we’ve already told you – there is no sign up sheet. Sorry.

  32. brian

    A little late for sweeps are we?

  33. Go fuck yourself kid.

  34. Jade

    Poor entitled little douche.

    “I got famous and get paid all this money, so I’m gunna go do drugs and get speeding tickets, and then church is gunna tell me its ok to blame it all on the tv show because I have no responsibility and shouldn’t be blamed.”

    That’s all I’m getting from him.

  35. SkyGod 2.0

    I snagged me another one! BWAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAA! The dumber the better!

  36. vandal

    Is he going to give his filth money away then? Cunt.

  37. Arlene

    I’m not suprised the kid turned to religion. He does look kind of simple. My major question is why would the little shit sign on to another year if the show is so “evil”? Oh, right. Jesus “wants” him to do it. How convenient!

  38. Sounds like it’s time to change the name to “Two Men.”

  39. Lolington

    It’s funny, this kid has more brains than 99% of the readers of this website!

  40. sitcoms are the devil

    Jesus, if only I gave a fuck about this show so I could be amused at this.

    • Oh, fuck. His new guru is indoctrinating him into the teachings of the Seventh Day Adventists. Even Baptists and Mormons think SDA’s are nuts!

      • KC

        I thought that was Pentecostals? To quote my mom who grew up next door to a Baptist preacher from the south: “Even Baptists think Pentecostals are bat shit.” (I’m assuming actual Baptists never used those exact words.)

        So it could have been worse, although seeing him flopping around on the ground while he spoke in tongues could have been amusing.

      • Angela

        I was raised Southern Baptist and I think my preacher actually may have called the Pentecostals bat shit. My mom almost had a heart attack when I wound up at a Pentecostal youth group meeting.

        Oh, and the Catholics. Catholics and Pentecostals duked it out for the looniest loons in Loonville according to the church I grew up in.

  41. bbiowa

    Now starring with Kirk Cameron and a banana in “Two and a Half Reasons to Question the Existence of God.”

  42. Arzach

    He is as stupid as his character it seems.
    He wins tons of money, is required to make out to a bikini clad Miley Cyrus to make her shut up, and then turns into Christianity, what a moron!

  43. Gare Bear

    Still waiting for the punch line…

  44. Daniel

    A dollar and Jesus will buy you a cup a coffee in this world kid ; )

  45. Patrick A. Gallimore

    Angus was a brilliant choice to play “Jake” on “Two and a Half Men”…Like Kirk Cameron, he found God, while, still working on his sitcom, and, like, Kirk, his character’s lifestyle doesn’t fall in like with his real-life Christian lifestyle…I’m glad, that, Angus has found Christianity and is standing up for his Christian beliefs…If many young Hollywood actors became born-again Christians, like, Angus T. Jones and Kirk Cameron, then, a lot of the pitfalls of drugs, drinking and personal destruction, would, not, take place…The one problem I have, is, that, if Angus is telling people not to watch “Two and a Half Men”, then, he should quit the show, pure and simple…Lastly, it’s funny, that, Charlie Sheen’s lifestyle and Angus T. Jones’ lifestyle, are, almost, completely opposite.

  46. Why does everybody who finds Jesus become a dick about it?

    I think this is really about young Angus looked in the mirror and realized that he’s got no prospect for success after that show is over. He’s just going to become another washed up child actor. So he’s trying to go the Kirk Cameron route.

    That or he’s a closet homo and realized the church embraces those kinds of homos, so he’s trying to find a new place to fit in and get all the holy butt sex he needs. That black dude sitting next t him, looks like his new fuck buddy.

  47. Is he going to give back all of the money he made from that “filth” No? Then shut the fuck up.

  48. Bionic_Crouton

    He will be all right. Look at all the great things that happened to Kirk Cameron . With that being said, I can’t wait until they appear together in another “Left Behind” movie.

  49. “HEY, ANGUS…yeah you, Asshole. I don’t think we particularly want you to tell us about your God. So why don’t you show us, instead!”

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