Angelina Jolie gains weight in the most awesome way

October 4th, 2007 // 110 Comments
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Sometimes it’s nice to hear about celebrities doing something awesome. It gets kind of tiring hearing about the custody battles, drug addictions and whatnot. So here’s Angelina Jolie doing what I can only describe as some sort of miracle. Page Six reports:

Her emaciated stomach nearly ruined In Touch’s plans for this week’s cover: “Is Angelina Jolie pregnant?” To protect its story, the glossy bought exclusive rights to the shots of her taut torso “so no other weeklies could run them,” said an insider. In Touch claims Jolie gained 10 pounds in her chest, but conveniently cropped the photo above her flat stomach. “When Angelina showed up looking so skinny, they bought the photos,” our source said. The mag says, “The most striking area of Angelina’s weight gain is in her chest.”

How in the hell do you gain 10 pounds in your chest? That’s incredible. Seriously, Wonder Woman couldn’t even do that. No matter how many times I told her it would help me pay attention to her more. What? She tied me up with her Golden Lasso! That thing makes you tell the truth and, well, I like boobs. When a magical rope controls my speech, don’t be surprised if I say, “Hey, those could be bigger.” That’s just cause and effect, baby.

superficial

  1. a fat cow

    Either she got a new bra or shes using birth control…..

  2. ltlmrmd

    That’s what happens when you are pregnant.

  3. kelly

    wow that is one ugly child.
    The baby looks like Perez Hilton, wtf?

  4. mrs doubtfire

    What kind of boots are those?

  5. cherrylemonade

    I hope my baby is that cute!

  6. jenfraud

    LOL! A few PLAIN JANE Aniston fans still angry at their plain idol got dumped? Projecting your miserable lives much, are we? Sorry, you still got dumped and so did Aniston. And you all DESERVED it.

  7. Amanda

    I really dont care those mediatic monkeys !i only think the baby is not much ugly as they . She only looks like homeless with those poor cloths

  8. Amanda

    I really dont care those mediatic monkeys !i only think the baby is not much ugly as they say . She only looks like homeless with those poor cloths

  9. Gloria

    she is good, i love her nude photos and profile on the site called sugarcupid.com.

  10. Betty

    My main question is this: WHO REALLY GIVES A CRAP!

    I personally can’t stand Angelina. Brad is a total creep. How does anyone have respect for her…for crying out load she stole another woman’s husband. Brad being the creep he is left his wife for some ugly bimbo. Give me a break!
    As for her chest being “bigger”…sounds like photo touch-up job to me.

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