A few weeks ago, there was a report from an alleged former assistant of Angelina Jolie‘s claiming she locks herself in the basement for hours on end performing grueling physical exercises to stay thin. Except it turns out she’s actually been starving herself to save all the poor, hungry children of the world, so I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now. Us Weekly reports:
“She says, ‘If they can’t eat, I can’t eat,’” the source adds. The busy mother of six “does different cleanses from around the world. It’s very dramatic, but that’s how she gets.”
Of course, there’s an easier way to help starving children besides conveniently masking your anorexia with solidarity, so already I know I’ve lost you: Write them a check for a million dollars. Eat a sandwich. Continue living thanks to the nourishment from said sandwich. Repeat.
BOOM. World hunger. SOLVED. Also, more time for stealing kids, so really this plan has everything.
Photos: Getty, WENN