Angelina Jolie Might Steal Another Child From Her Own Uterus

If there’s one thing that binds us together as a global community, it’s monitoring the comings and goings of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s international gang of children because eventually they’re going to start stealing jewels and/or committing espionage. It’s the only outcome. Anyway, today’s finally an exciting day for the poor schmucks stuck on the Angelina Jolie uterus beat because according to the newest issue of Marie Claire, she’s ready to procreate again even though that would require eating thus shattering her solidarity with the starving children of the world. Via Us Magazine:

“Nothing planned at the moment, but we just don’t know,” the Oscar winner says. “I could end up pregnant.”

“And by could,” she added, “I mean Brad’s penis would have to stop penetrating my back like a hot knife through a wet piece of paper FOR OUR TRIALS ARE ONE AND THE SAME, CHILDREN OF AFRI- Don’t you shush me, publicist! Your full belly knows nothing of our struggle.”

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News