Hey, Look, It’s Angelina Jolie In Her Natural, Child-Stealing Form
Which apparently has a penis. Neat.
Here’s Angelina Jolie roaming the British countryside in search of wayward children to add to her glass menagerie which some people will try and tell you is simply her filming scenes for Maleficent, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty from the evil queen’s perspective, which doesn’t even make sense. This is child-stealing. We’re looking at child-stealing. Also, for those of you who are curious if Madonna takes a similar form, she stole an invisibility cloak from Ramses on her 40th birthday so no one really knows. (I’ve always fancied her a winged scavenger while Angelina prefers the thrill of a ground hunt, but that’s just me.)