Hey, Look, It’s Angelina Jolie In Her Natural, Child-Stealing Form

June 20th, 2012 // 30 Comments

Which apparently has a penis. Neat.

Here’s Angelina Jolie roaming the British countryside in search of wayward children to add to her glass menagerie which some people will try and tell you is simply her filming scenes for Maleficent, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty from the evil queen’s perspective, which doesn’t even make sense. This is child-stealing. We’re looking at child-stealing. Also, for those of you who are curious if Madonna takes a similar form, she stole an invisibility cloak from Ramses on her 40th birthday so no one really knows. (I’ve always fancied her a winged scavenger while Angelina prefers the thrill of a ground hunt, but that’s just me.)

Photos: Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. Dan Quayle

    Her pee smells funny

  2. Dick Hell

    Wow, I’ll bet those horns are nearly as pointy as her cheekbones (hips, shoulders, etc).

  3. Alec Baldwin

    Oh its that weird looking cunt that can’t act but think she walks on water.

  4. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    See that brown furry thing behind her?
    Five minutes previously that was an assistant director who unfortunately made a comment within Ms. Jolie’s hearing about how much he loved Jen on “Friends”.

  5. cc

    I won’t be completely convinced until I see the cloven hoof.

  6. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Sheer?

  7. Ummm

    The adoption/child stealing jokes are old & were never funny.

    Considering she has not adopted since 2007 (5 years) and only has 3 adopted children it makes no sense.

  8. I’m sure she’ll nail this gig; She is in her natural form.

  9. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look, a cameo by the Kardashians.

  10. jaime

    I don’t see the costume.

  11. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Say What
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dang it, Angie! For the LAST time, stop stealing children and hiding them in your outfits!”

  12. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Commented on this photo:

    She should really start shaving that hump on her back.

  13. EricLr

    I always thought the fangs would be longer. Maybe she hasn’t completely transformed yet.

  14. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And that’s the image from my nightmares, right there.

  15. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Commented on this photo:

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/20/angelina-jolie-double-340_330.jpg[/img]

  16. It looks like community theater

  17. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Angie, you’re even hornier than I am!”

    • Cock Dr

      Thank god, someone finally made a horny joke.
      Bless you father.

      • The Holy See

        It wouldn’t be honest not to credit the Vatican City autocorrect feature. The intended undoubtedly comment had something to do with wells and Jews but the IT department has been on that issue since day 1. Happy to be at your service, and have a great day!

  18. tlmck

    I wonder if Brad has her wear that to bed.

  19. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    BK5000
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I just ‘blend in’ until they bring us back to the village for feeding, and THAT’S where all the children will be?”

  20. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Kojak
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect Frank!
    From the left: Kim’s butt, Khloe, Angelina, Kourtney and the two Jenner minions.

  21. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a maleficent cameltoe.

  22. Two penises! On her head.

  23. Angelina Jolie Maleficent Costume Horns
    Commented on this photo:

    those f-ing horns have more meat on them than her legs!

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