Angelina Jolie Just Exploded Your Nerd Wiener

July 23rd, 2010 // 78 Comments

Angelina Jolie will see Jennifer Aniston’s upskirt and raise her one COMIC-CON, SLUT! BOOM! (I’ve had a lot of coffee this morning.)

Here’s the Puckered One all leather-clad at Comic-Con yesterday to talk about Salt because I guess that’s like a superhero movie. When pressed for reactions afterward, most audience members responded with: “Geh!”; “It hurts.”; “DON’T LOOK AT ME!”; “Dammit, these Underoos cost $50 on eBay.” and “Why didn’t she talk about Battlestar? Wait, never mind, me just saying the word ‘Battlestar’ finished the job because I’m a nerd and come in my pants a lot for such is the nature of our magic.”

[Disclosure: Written by a man who habitually goes to the comic shop every Wednesday.]

Photos: Splash News

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  1. once upon a time

    She looks good when dressed, but just don’t show too much skin angelina, it becomes pretty scary.

  2. frunken

    Glad i voted for Erin every time, she fits the banner so well. Hoping she becomes permanent.

  3. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    SO RIGHT
    Commented on this photo:

    Doesn’t matter how pretty she is, that movie got like 1 star. Heard it sucks, like the last 10 or her movies.

  4. Fantastic. She always looks her best in bitch black leather & the nasty tattoos are concealed.
    Sorry Jennifer.

  5. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Woofus
    Commented on this photo:

    Angelina makes me want to be a Lesbian. She is the first (and only) woman that is hot enough to make me to want to actually screw another woman. She could make a movie about earwax and it would still be 5 stars

  6. AnnaDraconida

    She looks gorgeous as long as she keeps her scary bony limbs dressed up in black clothes.
    Salt is quite possibly the worst movie title ever & she’s far too frail to be believable as an action hero.

    • carolyn lee

      if you see the movie then it is very believable that she is a badass . The action scenes are very well done . All the movie critics agree .

  7. JRS22

    Here we go comparing them two again. Can’t you make a post about one without mentioning the other?

    • Casey

      In all fairness to the Fish, if he didn’t mention one without the other, the comments still would, so it really wouldn’t make your head hurt any more than it does. :)

  8. Ben Dover

    That is like comparing Taylor Momsen to Miley Cyrus , there is no comparison.

  9. II

    Psycho Eyes

  10. Pat C

    So, what’s good in comics nowadays?

  11. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Ken
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. Her waist looks like a Barbie doll. How many kids did she have?

  12. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a witch with unimaginable powers.
    I look into her eyes & write a check to UNICEF. If I sat down with her for a dinner she would probably compell me to adopt a 3rd world orphan before I’d finished my first drink.
    Looking forward to seeing that movie tomorrow. Watching a scowling AJ kick bad guy Soviet ass in an air conditioned cave sounds like primo summer fun to me.

  13. Anonymous

    Meh…Angelina Jolie looks good but hasn’t been superhot in years.

  14. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    discriminatin
    Commented on this photo:

    ya’l are blind or cra-zazy if ya think a big ol’ bumpy head & lumberjack jaw is ‘pretty’ ..
    muahahahaaa ..
    the only rag showin an honest pic’ is ‘huffington post’ ..lawd !
    that corset must be bustin her liver cause that skank ain’t got no waist on that skeleton …
    yeah the dykes can keep her ..
    she ain’t for no man that’s for sure ..

  15. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    ena
    Commented on this photo:

    Timeless beauty, just love her. Megan has nothing on her.

  16. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    e-rock
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing a corset. I wondered the same thing too, but if you look at the next few pics, you can see the boning from the corset which does WONDERS for a waist.

  17. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Just sayin
    Commented on this photo:

    Translation please? I’m sorry, I don’t speak Retarded.

  18. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Just sayin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hm, double post. eff you back, internet.

  19. guestspeaker

    Yep Angie. Keep it covered. Hot star who looks better fully clothed! Beautiful face (except when she smiles full on and exposes her huge slanted teeth).

  20. SO RIGHT

    I’ll say it again…SALT got like a 1 star out of 5. BAD

  21. Crowbar McGee

    God damn, people, she isn’t hot, she’s got AIDS or bulemia or a tape worm or something. Eat some damn food. She was only hot for about 4 minutes in the 1990s.

  22. g-money

    Wiener ????

  23. Gando

    I’m just wondering if Megan Fox wouldn’t do a better (Lara Croft) job.

  24. Rhialto

    She’d look a bit pale.Her health isn’t excellent at the moment.

  25. Mart

    She looks hot for sure. Something about Jennifer freaks that just can’t stay away from a Angelina post. Wonder why Jennifer’s camp is so worried about Salt? Jen’s pr team have hit the Internet posting like crazy. Why so worried?

  26. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Commented on this photo:

    It might be only overexposure, but all I’m getting from this skeleton is the mother of all “meh”-s.

  27. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Rhialto
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to her waist?! Surgery?!

  28. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Darth
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh! What’s that glittering thing on her ear doing there?

  29. McFeely Smackup

    Angelina is definitely the the hottest “clothes on” actress in hollywood. But when the clothes come off…whoa, it’s a fucking freakshow.

    Bony, anorexic, and covered in tattoos is not a good look for bonermaking.

  30. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    snowdawg
    Commented on this photo:

    BOOM HEAD SHOT MS. ANISTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. Marc

    Her face is stunning. HOT. Love her.

  32. See Alice

    I agree she always looks great with clothes on . Who wants to see a bag of bones with nasty tattoos .

  33. This is the BEST picture of her at Comic Con. She still looks gorgeous in the others, but this is my FAVE!!! Love Comic Con…am here now, and will be back tomorrow! Got some pics of her, myself, from a friend who was able to attend the SALT panel!

  34. Twinkle

    She looks fierce in the leather. If you don’t think she can’t kick your ass then your delusional. She’s bad ass.

  35. DCMikeRotch

    Not hot with all those tats. The random scribbles all over her body make her look like a bathroom wall.

  36. bridget

    PLZ this chick has such a butter face. she was beautiful once but after squeezing out those kids she probably has roast beef now to go with the butter face. She was hot before brad now shes just old and ugly

  37. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    wut
    Commented on this photo:

    is that a hand?

  38. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I would luv to kiss her. Wow.

  39. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    nox
    Commented on this photo:

    She IS wearing a corset. You can see it in the first picture as well. Angelina Jolie has one of the SQUAREST bodies in hollywood. No waist, hips, or ass, hence the industrial corset. If you doubt it’s a corset look at her waist in any of her recent evening gown pictures they mostly all have boning for a waist…

  40. captain america

    sorry, BUT WHO IS THIS STUCK UP?

  41. brothabill

    Face is weathered and she’s past her prime
    She’s past 30,whaddya expect? She cant headline a movie no mo
    There’s a neighbor’s babysitter 10x better looking than this twat, and not my neighbor specifically, just some neighbor has got to have a young woman who has a nice youthful face and body as opposed to Angelina.
    Who is morphing into a ego driven madonna-esque figure only 20 years earlier.
    Maybe its from adopting black babies that causes this, whatever, she’s turning into madonna, or skeletor, bleh same difference

    • carolyn lee

      maybe it’s from having any baby . Since some actresses can’t or won’t have any in order to keep their aging, fading looks . As if they can’t get old . obviously I find your comment about adopting black babies very offensive . It’s a shame you have not evolved as a human .

  42. Rhialto

    Hmm,$40M must be possible for her movie to open this weekend.

  43. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    iceman4896
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she has a pretty, but surgically enhanced face (good plastic surgery). Her breast are big, but not among the better looking breast I’ve seen when she takes her clothes off. Her arms are almost bone thin, her legs are long, which can be nice, but her’s are really thin, and without great muscle tone. Her ass is also small, not really great looking, and kind of flabby. She’s covered in a bunch of really ugly tattoo’s, some in odd places. Not that tat’s can’t be sexy on a women, because they can, and I’m attracted to some women who have them, but most of Angelina’s tat’s are black, ugly, and have some kind of statement attached to them. Oh, and do I need to mention that she’s absolutely bat shit crazy, and used to have a romantic relationship with her own brother? Yea, I’m not interested, sorry. If you’re wondering, I’d fuck Aniston over her in a heartbeat. Her breast are perkier, her legs are nicely toned, and she’s got a round, but firm ass. Her face doesn’t look obviously enhanced, either.

  44. sen

    i think angelina would like 100000x hotter if she gained like 10 lbs.

  45. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    sen
    Commented on this photo:

    why does she look 10 years older than she actually is?

  46. Angelina Jolie at Comic-Con
    eww
    Commented on this photo:

    That had to hurt.

  47. saw lara croft:tomb raider over the weekend. it reminded me that the angelina-aniston debate was settled years ago. when angelina runs out of the temple at the end of the movie and those TITS of hers do that wonderful slo-mo bunny hop, it struck me how aniston will NEVER look that sexy. not ever.

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