Andy Dick arrested for drunkenly grabbing penises

January 24th, 2010 // 40 Comments

Because it’s been two years since he’s reminded people he’s the most annoying drunk on Earth, Andy Dick was arrested for sexual abuse after grabbing the crotches of two male employees at a bar in West Virginia, according to the AP:

Dick was arraigned Saturday afternoon in Cabell County Magistrate Court. Court documents say he’s accused of grabbing a bouncer’s crotch and groping and kissing a male patron earlier in the morning at a bar in Huntington. Magistrate Patty Verbage Spence set bail at $60,000.
“Andy is stunned by these allegations and we are strongly denying any criminal conduct,” Dick’s attorney, Jeff Rubenstein, said in a statement.

Really? Andy Dick is “stunned” by these allegations? Because I’m pretty sure he heard he ran around grabbing cocks like they were free candy at a parade and went “That sounds about right.” Then blew a chihuahua.

Photo: WVRJA
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  1. cate

    Ohh my God… this guy is so disgusting. Glad to see he hasn’t changed one bit.

  2. Janna

    Virginia, not Virgina.

  3. Janna

    How amazing that you fixed it.

  4. jim eh

    This is sickening, 60 000$ bail? why because he’s a celebrity, it’s another way for the city to make some cash.

  5. I don’t think Andy Dick qualifies as a celebrity…

  6. This is fucking hilarious.

  7. Gueibor

    Nomen est Omen.

  8. Keashawn

    His last name is ominous in so many ways…

  9. Keashawn

    Damn you 7!

  10. dawn

    andy dick drunk and grabbing dick? NO!

  11. Humpinfrog

    Why hasn’t someone beaten this idiot to an inch of his life and think, “American converted to the Metric system about four hundred years ago, didn’t they?”, and beat him to a millimeter of his life? I’m not getting it!

  12. vicmorrow

    Yeah, he was actually arrested in my hometown.. at a bar called rum runners.
    Not the hippest bar.

  13. bmose

    I guess it’s time to annoy Dr. Drew again.

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  15. Dank24

    His initials are A. Dick. Need i say more? Isn’t it obvious to everyone that this guy is the worlds biggest closest queer? Seriously Andy, you’re gay.We all know it, just admit it already.

    Wait, you did this weekend. Never mind.

  16. Turtle Lovin'

    He’s beyond annoying. I wish he would go with Tila Tequila to the airport and they’d both get sucked down the airport toilets together.

  17. he's a homo

    Ok, it’s obvious this dude is a closeted homo who can’t deal with the fact that he likes sucking schlongs. Time to end it, sicko…

  18. I know you had to add this in the middle of the night, but could you tell us what kinds of acts would constitute felony sexual abuse? Is that rape or child molestation? It sounds bad.

  19. This is Excellent.
    The guy is a Douchemeister
    Hopefully he see some jail time and more penises.

  20. Scdo

    I he grabbed MY balls, I’d have to kill him.

  21. please go away

    He is aptly named.

  22. Milandir

    FFS, grabbing male penises in a bar in WV.

    He is lucky he wasn’t beaten to death.

  23. Elena di Cioccio grabbed David Beckam’s crotch. She will be fined with 60,000, too?

    I guess she won’t, because “she’s a woman”.

    Feminazi world.

  24. Tipop

    @15 and @17

    Um, guys… “Admit you’re gay” and “He’s a closeted homo”… really? Good lord, please don’t speak if you’re ignorant on a subject. Andy Dick has NEVER claimed to be straight. He’s always been completely open about being bisexual.

    There are plenty of reasons to dislike or even hate Andy Dick, but telling him to admit to being gay is like telling Robin Williams to admit to having a lot of body hair.

  25. pizazzidazzle

    Sad. He’s been trying for so long to give up the booze for a long time. His children must be so embarrassed.

  26. NO BETTER WAY TO "GRAB" ATTENTION

    Are you absolutely sure he was drunk?

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  28. ejit

    I’m going to try very hard not to do the name thing.
    Too obvious.
    ……
    DICK!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
    Yeah, no I couldn’t stop myself.

  29. J

    Somebody remind this loser that he really isn’t a celebrity
    and if he is going to grab male genitalia he’ll have to pay
    the cover charge at the local gay bar so he can annoy and
    molest gay men.

  30. Wait…Huntington, WV has a bar? I’ve been there. I know they have a school, a movie theatre and some other crap, so I guess it’s possible.
    Oh, and , eww!

  31. BeelzebubRules

    This is why celebrities should never leave LA.

    In West Virginia, it’s sexual abuse. In LA, it’s a job interview.

  32. There will be jail for Elena di Cioccio?

    She grabbed David Beckham’s crotch.

  33. timmy the dying boy

    He’s lucky he didn’t get beaten to a bloody pulp. That would have been funny.

  34. Veronica

    @32 hahahaha

    according to his appearances on the Adam Carolla podcast, he’s been sober for over a year and wears a monitoring ankle bracelet. It would suck to think he threw that all away for some redneck cock.

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  36. He’s lucky he didn’t get beaten to a bloody pulp. That would have been funny.

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