And they made him homeless. Or a hipster. I honestly can’t tell anymore.
At this point, I’d like to apologize to anyone who actually thought they were going to see Andrew Garfield in full Spidey gear, not him standing around as boring-ass Peter Parker. I feel like I just gave every nerd on the Internet a wedgie effectively making me a traitor to my own kind. Like that time Tom Cruise slaughtered a room full of homosexuals with a ray gun then erased all of our minds so we had no recollection of the event.
Wait. How did I just do that? And why am I suddenly seeing flashes of me hiding behind a jacuzzi full of lube – in cut-offs? That just seems tacky.