‘And I Beheld Another Beast Coming Up Out of the Earth…’

August 23rd, 2010 // 44 Comments

And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men, and deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live. And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed. - Revelation 13:11-15

Posted in response to ‘Jersey Shore’s’ Situation to earn $5 mil in 2010 – THR.

(Anyone else finding these scriptures eerily accurate? Me, too. I’ll be under my bed.)

Photos: Splash News


  1. Marcus

    Oh no.

  2. Pseudopodia


  3. Cock Dr

    It’s a shame when a man obviously works out hard & takes lots of steroids & is still so profoundly ugly.

    • The Only Hetero in this Joint

      WTF? That is some seriously f*cked up shit. This piece of shit has “representation”? That does it: Cock Doc needs to ask for a raise! As a Cock Doctor she is doing God’s work. She should be rewarded for such or at least allowed to apply her accupressure prowess to the Situation’s pee pee maker.

  4. Mary Jane

    That’s it I quit school, this motherfucker is going to make 5 mil??? I slit my wrist 5 times last week….where the fuck did I leave that fucking razor?!?

  5. oh uh

    Unfortunate ab genetics.

  6. Chupacabra

    awwww shit, this means the Sixth Seal has been broken and I missed the rapture. I’ll be under the bed with a bottle, some holy “water” and the last of my stash.

  7. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Shaves the chest but not the arm-pits? i don’t understand that.

  8. Marcus

    What ever happen to the Dogs Brothers on mtv’s sex in the 90′s? Those guys were awesome!! “beggin-beggin”

  9. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m sorry,, this kid is having a blast & God Bless him for it. i’m a devout hetrosexual man and can still admit he’s got a well defined torso… but that fuckin head of of his ! LOL ! fuckin Cecil the Turtle

  10. stevebeagle

    CECIL !

  11. aaron

    Ah… what the hell… good for him. He seems to have the most sense out of the group.

  12. Frobz

    “Prez sez school is for losers.” Remember that one on the Simpsons? Looks like comedy has become reality. Why are we putting ourselves in debt for an “educashun” when we could all be working our abs and pulling in $5mil a year for basically being an asshat?

    • Da MAN!

      My abs aren’t bad but I would have to work my ass off every minute of the day to be THAT good of an asshat.

  13. Websters'

    why is he wearing a hat into the ocean?

  14. noneofurbeezwax

    Fish, everyone knows the second beast is Sarah Pallin. Jeesh!

  15. Viv

    Behold the beast you (fans) have created. 5 mil? GTF out!

  16. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re gonna name your abs, then you better be able to see more than 2 ab muscles you can see on most men in the world who aren’t overweight.

  17. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Homer – I can see your doodle!

  18. Boy Down Assholes

    All you unbelievers, fear me and boy down before me shitbags! No? Well, just remember, I created that douche bag, and that fat sack of shit Ewok too, so just think of the fucked up shit I can do to you!

    Later, you useless mortal fucktards,


  19. oooaaahhh

    Enough of these idiots already!!

  20. Nancy Pelosi

    In honor of “the situation” I have renamed my beer gut as “the crisis”. Look for my rap single coming soon.

  21. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t really think we can knock him for other’s stupidity. If someone wants to pay him, any amout, to show up and show off how stupid he is…why wouldn’t he take it? Who wouldn’t take it? He’s a tool and getting paid to be a tool which sounds like a good deal if you ask me.

  22. LifeIsPreciousBaby,LoveIsSoRare

    This site has truly hit rock bottom. SW, you are a complete and utter fool. “The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God.” (Psalms 14:1). Here you are again making fun one of the most serious books in the Bible. I truly feel for you and anyone that’s associates with you.
    And for those with the typical “lol”, “f–k you” and the like, don’t bother, I won’t be coming back to read it.

    • grobpilot

      You know you’re too curious to just leave your statement hanging out there and not check on what we throw back your way. Shithead.

    • Boy Down Assholes

      You better mean that bitch. I’m omnipresent you know. Your punishment for your lie will be a purgetory with 2 cocks in each orifice! So let it be written, so let it be done! The rest of you cock suckers can lick my balls too!


    • sobrietyisacrutch

      ” making fun one of the most serious books in the Bible”
      You are fucking kidding, right? You’re a comedy writer, right?
      Either that or one of those Jehovah Witness pains in the ass who I used to slam the door on on Sunday mornings.
      (Interrupt my football and beer-drinking, will you….)
      And if it took you this long to realize that the SW and associates have hit rock bottom, you are even slower than I thought you were for placing faith in an afterword in the Bible.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      Oops! Almost forgot:
      F-k you.

  23. The Situation
    Christina Spears
    Commented on this photo:


  24. duke staind

    @grobpilot Oh yes, since all the rejoinders here are so witty and enlightening, eh? Bitch, please.

    • Boy Down Assholes

      So you came back, blasphemer? Off to cock island for thee, cumguzzler! You mess with bull you get the horns!


  25. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Good for him that he’s been able to make so much money out of a appearing on a reality show/sitcom (it’s scripted). But, I’ve seen his act before. For the most part, he’s mimicking Arnold Schwartzenegger’s in Pumping Iron, minus the body.


  26. Fugly

    This fucker is so ugly. I guess he can’t work on his Olive Oyl face, so he works on his body.

    In 5 years this bastard will be fixing my transmission at AAMCO.

  27. Haha just a hint?? Well its better than no hint I guess.

  28. alexis

    his abs are fuckin strange looking ..deformed..and thats what hes popular for .. thats a situation but not a good one.

  29. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he is kind of cute…

  30. Am I the only one who thinks he is kind of cute?

  31. captain america


  32. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, that white boy is such a tool

  33. Brian0523

    It’s sit on The Situation’s face any day!

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