Amy Winehouse Wasn’t Adopting a Child, You Don’t Say?

August 1st, 2011 // 21 Comments

Over the weekend, it was rumored that Amy Winehouse was in the final stages of adopting a 10-year-old girl from St. Lucia (above) which people actually took seriously even though, at the most smallest, practically non-existent levels, there’s no way any form of government would’ve signed off on this. In fact, because I’m an optimist, I like to believe there’d first be talk of just shooting the kid and saving everyone the rush of finding her facedown in a bathtub full of heroin. But, happy ending, Amy’s rep is denying the entire story which is more than likely a shakedown of her estate. TMZ reports:

The Sunday Mirror reported Dannika Augustine and her grandmother both confirmed that Amy was about to begin the adoption process … and both of Dannika’s parents had signed off on the plan.
But Amy’s rep tells TMZ … “It’s not true” … adding, “I think [Amy] might have met her in St. Lucia, but she was in no way about to adopt her.”

For the record, Amy spent most of the past few years in St. Lucia boosting their drug economy and peeing standing up, so I completely believe she told this little girl she was going to adopt her. However, I also believe she told her other things like that time she ate a cat, why Pete Doherty is a figment of her imagination so powerful other people can see him and how she’s going to live forever like Keith Richards. So, of those four things, at least two had to be a lie. It’s your basic junkie math.

Photo: Splash News

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  1. Amy Winehouse Adoption
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! Her leg!!

  2. So glad when michael jackson died i didn’t have to look at that abortion face so much on tv anymore, it creeped me out every time. Hopefully we’re in the last throws of seeing fugmug as a reg feature (fester feature)

  3. Linda

    What???

  4. Luhle

    OMG the poor thing dodged a bullet

  5. Qu’est-ce que c’est “Coke Mule”????

  6. ChinaSuperficial

    Wrong verb: snort, not adopt. She was going to grind up and snort the little island girl.

  7. Ashley

    Well, if it were true, wouldn’t that mean part of her earnings would be inherited? Oh wait, family already has their hands buried in those pockets. Scram kid!

  8. Facebook Me

    It looks like she just tied one off – hence the bandana on her upper right arm, prior to playing “Mommy” with a child that now has a chance in this world.

  9. One time… ONE TIME, she pays an islander girl to hold her track marks closed and all you assholes can come up with is this crazy shit about adoption. I swear…

  10. My Left Nut

    She looks almost alive in these pictures.

  11. Dangerous pants for her. At what point did Miss. Meth, 2008 start screaming, “agggggghhhhhh!!!!! My legs are covered in spiders!!!!!!”

  12. It would have only cost you heartless bastards 5 cents a day, and this mother and child could have had a hot meal and a place to sleep!

  13. the one

    ……..she really cared.

  14. LucianDivine

    I’m from St. Lucia and remember the whole Amy Winehouse incident. Trust me the gov’t isn’t the best out there but they are not stupid. The way she was back when; they won’t ever allow it. Plus; they tried they damn hardest to get her out of the country but took a while. She was bad for the economy. Wino was a great talent and her voice will be missed but she was a mess.

  15. Amy Winehouse Adoption
    red tube xxx
    Commented on this photo:

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