Amanda Bynes’ Tokemobile of Death Has Finally Been Impounded

September 17th, 2012 // 38 Comments
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You’d think after narrowly escaping arrest, being photographed smoking her face off behind the wheel and having a judge tell her to stay the fuck off the road which she ignored and plowed into another car anyway, Amanda Bynes might finally learn her lesson and quit driving on a suspended license. Except you’d forget to factor in she talks to inanimate objects now and her toaster oven is holding her best friend Blueberry Pop Tart hostage, so really Amanda had no choice but to go out yesterday morning and get her car impounded. “Never leave a friend in need behind,” Grandfather Dishwasher always says. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Bynes was pulled over in her black BMW around 9:00 AM in Burbank, CA. We’re told when cops ran her license they discovered it was suspended.
According to our sources, cops impounded the vehicle and issued her a misdemeanor ticket for driving on a suspended license.

What will be real fun is when police go through Amanda’s car and discover it’s a goddamn bong on wheels, except she swears it’s not weed she’s smoking in her cigarette lighter pipe. Back her up, Brother Glovebox- no, wait, never mind. He only speaks German.

She is also telling friends … the picture TMZ posted of her smoking from a drug pipe inside her car (below) is not what it seems. She says she was smoking tobacco … despite the fact that her cup-holders had remnants of what appeared to be marijuana.

As obvious as it is that Amanda Bynes is in a downward spiral of denial and dependency, I actually believe her when she says it’s just tobacco in her custom pipe. Mostly because it makes all kinds of sense that Amanda Bynes would pick the most tedious way to smoke while behind the wheel. She probably cures the tobacco herself while on the freeway. “Alright, Beamer, Papa Smurf and I are getting in the trunk to bring in the harvest. You drive straight now, ya hear?”



  1. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    Its a difficult choice: do you try and clean it, or just spray it with petrol and set it alight.

    • cc

      I dunno, I am thinking just leave the keys in it. Someone who is going to part it out isn’t going to be that particular are they? Besides, no one would believe it’s a bait car so that problem is solved.

  2. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    These actresses can afford pills, pot, and plastic body parts… but they can’t afford a fucking maid?

  3. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally the police of California do something and get this menace off the streets. I still have my fantasy from last week primed in my head. It won’t leave me alone until this thing is over.

  4. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has the munchies!

  5. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking pig

  6. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has the giggles!

  7. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Tobacco …. riiiight

  8. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:


  9. Cock Dr

    The only thing a gal like this needs to do to obtain the keys to another, better Tokemobil is provide a few bjs to a wealthy man.

  10. Deacon Jones

    Wow, I just googled some pics of her back in the day, hot!

    Im not a doctor, but if I had to armchair diagnose here, I’m willing to bet there’s a drunk Uncle Ernie incident involved in her past.

  11. Drew

    Yes Amanda, we were all born yesterday. What a dumb cunt.

  12. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Because you can’t have “Vehicular Manslaughter” without “laughter”.

  13. Jack London's sober moment

    wait, NOW they run her license and find out it’s suspended? what about the other half-dozen insane shenanigans she’s been involved with? the DMV is really a very attentive group.

  14. Inmate 12236969

    Well boys and girls the Sesame Street letters for today is C & D can’t you make think of some words and put them into a sentence? Here’s an example, “This is a DUMB CUNT.”

  15. Pat C.

    Well, if she’s really gone over the edge then she can’t really help herself. I wouldn’t call that “dumb”. She neeeds treatment (and needs to be prevented from driving).

  16. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    If what TMZ reported is true, she’s the exact age for onset of schizophrenia in which case she could be self medicating.

  17. cc

    So, she drives a black on black car in California and leaves that much shit in it. Imagine the stench in there after an afternoon in the California sun.

  18. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right, Amanda, that IS tobacco. Also, those conversations you have with your refrigerator are REAL and you SHOULD assassinate John F. Kennedy AGAIN. “The first guy didn’t do it right.” – Ice Cube Tray

  19. Archie Leach

    If Amanda had the gay and lesbian bondage photos involving the top officers of the Los Angeles PD and the members of the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office like the Lohans have, she wouldn’t be getting harassed by them like she is.

  20. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Los Angelites put a tentative foot outside the door this morning upon hearing the miraculous news…when a car zipped past. “Rental, bitches!” Amanda Bynes was overheard screaming.

  21. This poor girl is going down a road terrifyingly similar to the one LiLo has been traveling. (Hmmmm…maybe they should carpool.) What Amanda doesn’t understand is that she isn’t “entitled” the way Lindsay is, so she won’t be getting the same breaks and will probably end up in the joint.

    Likewise Ms. Bynes and her family haven’t had as much practice slinging bullshit as the Lohan clan, so her lies sound too logical. She’s fucked!

  22. El Jefe

    WTF is wrong with this chick?

  23. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is this a surprise?, when the clock strikes midnight, all these little princesses turn into frogs.

  24. Amanda Bynes Drug Pipe Car Cigarette Lighter
    Commented on this photo:

    The vampires are starting to walk in the daylight…

  25. I’ve been smoking (cigarettes) for 13 years now, but even so, the idea of tobacco roach hits makes my lungs ache. Couldn’t she come up with a better excuse? Asthma medicine? Indian hangover remedy? Besides, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a joint look like a cigarette, than a cigarette like a joint?

  26. Craptard

    I can understand that with budget problems and prison overcrowding, the State of California is reluctant to clog up the prisons with a celebrity who committed a fairly minor traffic violation. In order to do my part to keep the people of California safe and spare them the expense of housing Ms. Bynes in jail, I’ll volunteer to keep her chained up in my basement. Just have her dumped in a sack on my lawn and I’ll take care of the rest.

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