Amanda Bynes Called People Magazine And Told Them She’s Doing ‘Amazing,’ Actually Believes It

Just in case you weren’t sure how completely batshit Amanda Bynes is these days, yesterday she decided to just up and call People magazine to tell them she’s doing “Amazing” despite a DUI arrest, 800 hit-and-runs since then, being photographed smoking her face off while driving on a suspended license and locking herself in dressing rooms for hours on end:

But none of these mishaps seem to have ruffled the former child star, who told PEOPLE when reached on the phone Wednesday, “I am doing amazing.”
“I am retired as an actor. I am moving to New York to launch my career. I am going to do a fashion line,” added Bynes, who was polite, respectful and upbeat on the phone. “I am not talking about being arrested for DUI because I don’t drink, and I don’t drink and drive. It is all false.”

And by “amazing,” Amanda Bynes clearly means getting kicked out of spin class for taking her clothes off the night before. Her life couldn’t be better!

Gym sources tell us, Amanda was attending a 50-minute spin class at Equinox when she suddenly stopped participating in the class and aimlessly walked around looking to switch bikes.
Once Amanda found a replacement — closer to the room’s giant mirror — we’re told Amanda started cycling again, but removed her top, revealing a “tiny black strapless push up bra … not a sports bra.”
Roughly 25 minutes into the class, we’re told Amanda stopped cycling again — this time to pick up her Louis Vuitton purse … and reapply her makeup.
According to sources, the actress was doing her makeup — lipstick, eyeliner, the whole shebang — for ten full minutes before the instructor grew furious and told her to get out, claiming he couldn’t BELIEVE someone was doing makeup in the middle of his spin class.

In Amanda’s defense, the elliptical machine told her her mascara was running and that bitch knows make-up. They talk about it all the time. And sometimes boys, but that’s a secret.