Amanda Bynes Called People Magazine And Told Them She’s Doing ‘Amazing,’ Actually Believes It

September 20th, 2012 // 34 Comments
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Just in case you weren’t sure how completely batshit Amanda Bynes is these days, yesterday she decided to just up and call People magazine to tell them she’s doing “Amazing” despite a DUI arrest, 800 hit-and-runs since then, being photographed smoking her face off while driving on a suspended license and locking herself in dressing rooms for hours on end:

But none of these mishaps seem to have ruffled the former child star, who told PEOPLE when reached on the phone Wednesday, “I am doing amazing.”
“I am retired as an actor. I am moving to New York to launch my career. I am going to do a fashion line,” added Bynes, who was polite, respectful and upbeat on the phone. “I am not talking about being arrested for DUI because I don’t drink, and I don’t drink and drive. It is all false.”

And by “amazing,” Amanda Bynes clearly means getting kicked out of spin class for taking her clothes off the night before. Her life couldn’t be better!

Gym sources tell us, Amanda was attending a 50-minute spin class at Equinox when she suddenly stopped participating in the class and aimlessly walked around looking to switch bikes.
Once Amanda found a replacement — closer to the room’s giant mirror — we’re told Amanda started cycling again, but removed her top, revealing a “tiny black strapless push up bra … not a sports bra.”
Roughly 25 minutes into the class, we’re told Amanda stopped cycling again — this time to pick up her Louis Vuitton purse … and reapply her makeup.
According to sources, the actress was doing her makeup — lipstick, eyeliner, the whole shebang — for ten full minutes before the instructor grew furious and told her to get out, claiming he couldn’t BELIEVE someone was doing makeup in the middle of his spin class.

In Amanda’s defense, the elliptical machine told her her mascara was running and that bitch knows make-up. They talk about it all the time. And sometimes boys, but that’s a secret.



  1. I really want to know what the girl was doing in the dressing room. Besides testing quantum theory physics, of course.

    • Pat C.

      Seriously. They’re supposed to be journalists at People magazine, they’ve got Amanda on the phone, why the hell don’t they simply ask “Why did you spend 2 hours in the dressing room the other day?” If there’s a straightforward non-crazy reason, that’d be a great time for Amanda to get that information out there.

  2. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Now where did my tiny friend go?! Bert?! Bert?! Oh there you are! Come on, walk beside me, so the paparazzi don’t think I’m crazy and talking to myself again!

  3. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    “Woops! Looks like you got lipstick on me. You’d better reapply before you take your panties off and run head first into that bush.” – Cup of Coffee

  4. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    horray for boobies
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck the shit out of that train wreck!!

  5. Fondue

    So we’re watching her slowly disintegrate, it’s kind of sad. What drugs make a person lose their mind like that?

  6. JC

    She’s wearing a windshield from a 1996 Honda Civic on her face, and she’s going to start a fashion line? O.K.

  7. alex

    Wow! She sat in a changing room crying on the phone with her best girlfriend about some guy she met. AND then she only finished half a workout session at a gym! WOW!! This is big fucking celebrity news. Lets not forget she smoked some pot too! And at 26, she’s making some immature decisions?!!!

    The fucking asshole media, sorry Fish, you too, are turning nothing into a story so they can sell their ads and get their all-important clicks. Fucking vampires. I don’t give one rats ass about this little actress tart but I DO care about being openly, obviously manipulated. At least with Heidi and Spencer, there was no deception, just obvious exploitation of the readers for everyone’s personal gain.

    • Because it’s completely normal to drive around smoking pot. DRIVE AND SMOKE POT. I agree, no big deal to smoke pot, but not openly drive around and smoke pot. That’s akin to drinking a beer while driving. I have people I love that are on the streets, I don’t want her ass to be able to drive aroudn under the influence.

      • alex

        I understand your point XGL…and I agree.

      • But I agree that the media is kind of hoping for a complete meltdown here, which isn’t cool.

      • Deacon Jones

        I used to smoke joints and drive all the time, big fucking deal

      • Yeah, and so did a ton of people who crashed their car and killed people. Personally, I find marijuana to be less of a dangerous thing than alcohol, but shit can’t you just do it at home? Shes a millionaire, theres no reason to smoke pot and drive. HIRE A FUCKING DRIVER

      • Craptard

        and blast that old Neil Young song, ‘roll another number for the road’!
        in all seriousness, while I agree it’s not an admirable thing to do, it’s hardly cause for hysterics if somebody’s smoking a doob behind the wheel. all it does is make you much more attentive about the cars / people around you, drive a little slower, and alot more carefully.

      • Yes, Craptard, I am inclined to agree, but this nutjob has already crashed her car a few times, so I’m thinking driving while high might not have the same effect on her.

    • El Jefe

      I think crashing your car about 20 times in 2 weeks is cause for concern and is a legitimate story.

  8. Cock Dr

    It’s time for this gal to enter into the rehab spin cycle.
    Clean up, release, repeat.

  9. I don’t think it’s drugs as much as being a child actor and having your parents allow your boss to fuck you.

  10. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Officer, can you like, help me find my car? Its the one with the fake lighter weed pipe, and it talks to you in a voice like that crab from ‘The Little Mermaid’.”

  11. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone is about to find out solicitation is illegal

  12. Fish, I think you cut off that quote: “I am not talking about being arrested for DUI because I don’t drink, and I don’t drink and drive. It is all false. Because ‘DUI,’ that means alcohol. Just alcohol…right?”

  13. VV

    i sort of feel bad for her. She was actually a better actress than Lohan and actually kind of funny. It seems like she could make a decent ‘comeback’ if she gets her shit together. Hopefully it’s true that her parents are moving to LA to help her out. Unlike Lohan’s vodka-induced-drama-train-attention-whoring ways, Amanda Bynes seems to have something legitimately wrong with her.

  14. Inner Retard

    I guess everything feels amazing when you’re high.

  15. This girl is starting to come off as schizophrenic or something. I’m really getting worried about her.

    • Yeah, i was thinking bipolar, but the voices make me think schizo, which very commonly introduces itself during the 20s. Kind of makes you wonder why child stars have an increased rate of mental illness, doesn’t it?

      • Craptard

        not really – I’ve only been wondering when did she get those nice jugs and hot ass? that, and how to lure her into my basement dungeon lair.

  16. vgrly

    Her shoes are cute.

  17. What an idiot

    Thi reminds me of when whorehan was drunkenly stumbing out of clubs at 4am after having been in rehab 3x, and white oprah used to say “Oh, she’s fine; she’s fine”. Delusion is a bad place to be…

  18. Archie Leach

    I see a thorazine prescription with the name “Amanda Bynes” in the future.

  19. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I would very much like to caress those cheeks, and maybe nibble them a little too.

    And what an excellent way of diverting attention away from her sanity. Bravo!

  20. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever. I bet that’s so tight.

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