A Suggestion From Alexander Skarsgard

September 28th, 2011 // 54 Comments

NOTE: I also took the liberty of adding captions to these which I can almost guarantee aren’t funny as much as they give Alexander Skarsgard a weird accent and continue my assertion that he’s a raging sex offender unencumbered by Victorian sensibilities.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    What Maisie Knew: That he has a small mole on the base of his penis.

  2. Sodomy_Is_For_Girls

    How ’bout you let me put this…there?

  3. Satan's bitch

    Women really want to fuck this? Ew.

    • gumption

      THANK YOU!!! He looks like a jim carey with a more severe case of downs. Last time I said gross the fat girls jumped on me and almost broke my thin back. This guy is so hideous and disgusting.

    • Burt

      Male celebrities are just like female celebrities…The look like hell without makeup and proper lighting.

  4. Frank Burns

    Dude holding a can. Great story. Next!.

  5. forrest gump

    tell jessica simpson on top of a trump building she is able of flying!!

  6. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hold on a second, I’ve got some hair in my teeth.”

  7. Alexander Skarsgard

    no one gives a shit about whoever this dude is. stop posting about him.

  8. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    I see you don’t have a milkshake. So I drink your water.

  9. alle

    I don’t get why he’s so popular or why you keep posting about him.

  10. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey guys. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later.”

  11. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    The ghost of Cory Haim is strong with this one.

  12. Alexander Skarsgard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh goody that means there’s a chance for me, not just the under 16 crowd.

  13. marceelf

    I’ve got a suggestion for him. It involves his head and my thighs.

  14. Alexander Skarsgard
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, you really do bring joy into my life.

  15. Alexander Skarsgard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Not looking too great in these shots. What happened, did they dye his purty blonde hair for a role? Yuck.
    Will never be any competition to the “Great Dane” already in my heart; Viggo Mortensen.

  16. Richard McBeef

    If it weren’t for Juvenile and the gang, the lines, “Big, thick plumber chick,
    And a hummer chick, beat the dick like a motherfucking drummer chick” would have forever been lost in depths of Bill Shakespeare’s sonnets.

    • thespiral

      Yes, and also the dulcet strains of: “When you see your sister, tell her, “It’s alright”, she still make my dick BOOM like dynamite, call me Tiger Woods…but I won’t…eat no pussy…cuz I don’t…you wanna nigga that’ll fuck you in the park in the grass, you wanna nigga that’ll stick a big stick in your ass!”

  17. Fletch

    asphinctersayswhat?

  18. TomFrank

    Meh. Without the seven-year-old co-star swinging from his arms, the statutory rape jokes seem both forced and played out.

  19. Do Freebird

    Wow, this whole “comedy” bit got really old, really fast.

  20. Walter_

    What´s with all the hate to this guy? Did I miss something?

    • TurkusMaximus

      these are unflattering photos, so now some people have decided he sucks. I still think he’s fucking gorgeous and love these posts as I get my Skarsgard fix and i get to laugh myself silly. win win for me.

  21. Donald Trump’s barber? What am I missing here?

  22. SarahK

    He’s starting to look like Jim Carrey.

  23. Iyccah

    Ummm ok please tell me he is playing a married man in his role..a wedding band :-( it broke my heart until I realized oh wait I’m married to.lmfao. But I think the greatest picture is when he is reading.

  24. celebsloveme

    Thanks a lot. Now I have to call my husband and ask him to come home early from work.

  25. Carolyn

    So ugly.

    • gumption

      bravo! I knew I was not crazy. He is a fucking hideous beast, always thought so since seeing him on this site. didnt know who he was and I wish I never saw his ugly mug and grotesque body.

  26. TurkusMaximus

    These are bad photos. But the dude is hot.

  27. Alexander Skarsgard
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    whats with all the fivehead love on this site? more nathan fillion!!!

  28. Alexander Skarsgard
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    is he from russia or transylvania? i cant quite place this accent youve given him…

  29. Tina

    Alexander Skarsgard is filming a movie where he is a suburban husband who is stressed out, has money problems, and is cheating on his wife. They gave him a fake beer belly, died his hair an awful color, are dressing him in “dad clothes”, and are emphasizing his already prominent eye bags to make him look worn out. Although he doesn’t look great in these pics, I would still hit that in the parking lot after the PTA meeting.

  30. Cock Dr

    So the name of the song must be “Back That Ass Up”…have I got that right?
    The blogger is such a fool for romance.

  31. Note to Fish...

    Fish, I love you. I also LOVE Alexander Skarsgard in a very sick and unhealthy way. However, the sex offender jokes are getting a little old. They are even less funny since he is looking so ground down in this movie. When I look at these pictures I image he’s thinking how much his marriage sucks, how he used to be in shape, and how the house is under water and he can barely make his mortgage…in a funny accent.

  32. Stacy

    He looks pretty thrashed, but I know what lies beneath… I still love him, haters!

  33. Alexander Skarsgard
    Didntgetit
    Commented on this photo:

    ummm… I didn’t get any of the jokes. What’s it with Alexander Skarsgard?

  34. Maria

    I’d still F him.

  35. thespiral

    With his hair like that he looks exactly like my Uncle Brian. Who also has a weird voice and is a registered sex offender. Wait a second…

  36. Alexander Skarsgard
    Becca
    Commented on this photo:

    I totally read and love’d that book “The Good Soldiers”! Explains the turn of events that happened with the Bush Adminstration..well just read it trust me! I like this look better, even those people are givng him alot of grief. I’d feel very out of place if meeting him in a bar or something all glamour and glitz but this look make him seem normal. Like I am going to get some coffee and read my book so leave me the heck alone. He is branching out into other roles and people are used to seeing this cookie cut sex image. If you going to make it in Hollywood there has to be more than sex. Obviously by seeing what Mr. Skarsgard is reading he likes different things. I wonder if the books he reads are for future roles. Totally would loved to have a conversation with him about that!
    ~Becca
    cute_lil_becca@yahoo.com

  37. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    I read the Sookie Stackhouse novels and knew of the series while back. My friend got real sick from cancer and I started following him to tell her what the gossip was. We’d sit on her laptop an I would read all the little stuff she would get so into the gossip. She recently passed away but I know she would of liked this look. I looked through the photos and I like the fact he reads, I’ve actually read that book, “The Good Soldiers” and I would wonder what he’s take is on the Bush Adminstration. Would love to have a convesation with him one day! He seems more approachable and normal in this look. BUT ladies it’s only for a role he is trying to branch out away from the BEEF cake roles. So cut him some slack.

  38. Alexander Skarsgard
    wYndYdaY
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d scream for him to F me very much – there is only this man actor would make me feel that way. F me…

  39. he is some kind of ugly. He reminds me of the singer from Mr Mister when he was a bit younger, cute-ish but he’s looking minging lately, he’s plain for a Swedish guy. He’s well welcome to the even more ugly gaga. He seems up his own a** which is apparently not the thing to be when you’re Swedish!! Want a really hot looking Swede try a pic of Martin Rolinski. JMO :)

  40. I find him REALLY unattractive, whatever pic I see of him! And I don’t like True Blood either. Jensen Ackles is hot, Skarsgard is not!!

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