Despite a busy schedule of clandestine right-wing operatives roping him into going 800% bear-shit on the paparazzi, Alec Baldwin somehow found time to ejaculate into his wife’s vagina thus impregnating her and making all those random sidewalk push-ups look slightly less ridiculous. When asked if they’re hoping for a boy or a girl, Alec responded by eating three campers who left an open Snickers bar inside their tent.
I’m joking! I’m joking. It was scotch, he smelled scotch.