For a man whose 17-year-old daughter has been getting visibly banged on the Internet by a guy named Slater Trout, walking ball of rage Alec Baldwin has done a remarkable job of keeping his composure. A move he’s clearly pulled off by bottling up his anger until it eventually explodes into a fury so fiery hot his face qualifies as a volcano which is exactly what happened yesterday when the Daily Mail accused his pregnant wife of tweeting during James Gandolfini‘s funeral. You may want to grab an oven mitt:
- Someone wrote that my wife was tweeting at a funeral. Hey. That’s not true. But I’m gonna tweet at your funeral.
- George Stark, you lying little bitch. I am gonna f%#@ you up. http://t.co/eoHfGGjD46
- I want all of my followers and beyond to straighten out this fucking little bitch, George Stark. @MailOnline http://t.co/eoHfGGjD46
- My wife and I attend a funeral to pay our respects to an old friend, and some toxic Brit writes this fucking trash http://t.co/eoHfGGjD46
- If put my foot up your fucking ass, George Stark, but I’m sure you’d dig it too much http://t.co/eoHfGGjD46
- I’m gonna find you, George Stark, you toxic little queen, and I’m gonna fuck…you…up. http://t.co/eoHfGGjD46
You’ll probably be surprised to learn that the tweets have since been deleted along with Alec’s account, but not before being screencapped all over the Internet because our children deserve a record of such pure, unbridled Baldwin. One day, I’ll sit my grandson on my knee, and say, “Boy, let me show you a tale about a man whose anger was so fierce, he would take on the form of a grizzly bear and wreak fuck-fire upon his enemies.” And that boy will look up at me and say, “You’re not my grandpa. You’ve never even had sex with a woman,” then call the police. These are my dreams.
Photos: Splash News