The Superficial Counter-Argument To Miley Cyrus Being #1 On The Maxim HOT 100

May 6th, 2013 // 50 Comments

You oughta know, Maxim. You oughta know.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. “Self-Love,” eh? Couldn’t find anybody else?

  2. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can count to orange!!”

  3. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What I wanna know is…..did the site actually PAY for these photos?

  4. I could walk around this floor of my office and find a woman hotter than Miley Cyrus. Hope it was worth the thirty pieces of silver, Maxim.

  5. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Commented on this photo:

    She just looks like a mom/wife. I’d happily go to town on it.

  6. You Oughta Know (better than to wear that)

  7. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if this is what she had in mind when she penned the “An older version of me” line from “You Oughta Know.”

    • I doubt it, she was something like 19 when she wrote that…her idea of “older” probably meant 21 or some such…teenagers have no sense of scale.

      Thumbs up, regardless

  8. life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

  9. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Bringbackbabalu
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to say, by Maxim logic, maybe she is…the magazine is for people 12 and under, written by clueless woman…

  10. What?

    Ryan Reynolds went from this to scarjo to Blake lively. Well played.

  11. Freebie48

    She looks like a happy normal size woman. I’d rather look like her than Miley, Lindsay, Kim or any other exhibitionist so-called celebrity. Plus her music is good and she was great on Weeds.

    • Eve

      Alanis is a woman who is a talented songwriter and singer and is no longer a skinny minnie. To me that’s much more preferable than some bikin-clad waste of press coverage like Lohan or Cyrus, who both lack talent and are attention whores.

  12. Jon Pork

    You Can’t Do That On Television

  13. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s like RAAI-IAAA-AAIIN form your thunder thighs!”

  14. Professor

    She would probably still be a fun date to the movies

  15. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Self Love” is right sweetie…..now go give yourself a kelp enema and give Gwyneth a call

  16. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t it ironic?

  17. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    stinkfinger
    Commented on this photo:

    Arnold is looking a bit flabby.

  18. She’s a MILNSA…a Mom I’d Like to Not See Anymore!

  19. Wow

    Looks like they scraped her off the floor of a theater.

  20. thank you white castle.
    thank you taco bell.
    thank you micky d french fries.

  21. marvin

    Looking like that in a bikini AND smiling?

  22. colt13

    I am a hypocrite. The pics are awful, but still would hit. Her version of My Humps has earned her a lifetime pass from me.

  23. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Commented on this photo:

    Now if she goes down on you in a theater you might have trouble getting up after.

  24. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I really do think.

  25. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    She is still awesome. I like her better than Miley, the goofball.

  26. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    supremely gross but I give her major points for not giving a flying fuck what I or anyone else thinks: self love RULES!

  27. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    BuddyLuh
    Commented on this photo:

    I LOVE HER ASS!

  28. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody needs a jagged little diet pill.

  29. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    RichPort
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Love Hewitt is apparently having a hard time at the gym…

  30. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    kim
    Commented on this photo:

    At least her face is still beautiful.

  31. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    Daniela
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG I love her, I don’t care about her weight or how fit (or not) she is, but that is one fugly bikini!!!!! no cheap looking glitz please!

  32. Alanis Morissette Bikini Son Ever
    CB
    Commented on this photo:

    good god! call slim fast

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