Al Roker Sharted In The White House

January 8th, 2013 // 28 Comments
Al Roker
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Ten years ago, Al Roker underwent gastric bypass surgery which he just revealed to Dateline resulted in him shitting his pants while visiting the White House shortly thereafter. So naturally this became the biggest story on the Internet because it’s a fancy place. Via Buzzfeed:

Al Roker: And as I’m walking to the pressroom, I think I gotta pass a little gas here. So, I’m walking by myself, who’s gonna know, only, a little something extra came out.
Nancy Sniderman: You pooped in your pants.
AR: I pooped in my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew.

What happened next can only be described as a triumph of one man’s courage in the face of unfathomable adversity. A Zero Dark Thirty of the anus if you will:

AR: I got to the restroom, threw out the underwear, and just went commando.
NS: What did that tell you?
AR: It told me that I got to be very vigilant as to what I eat.

And so Al Roker became a beacon of vigilance, an impenetrable monolith of edible scrutiny in a world full of questionable burritos and meats on a stick. He became… The Shart Knight. *grabs enchilada by the collar* SWEAR TO ME!

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. FattyFatty2X4

    Roker commando–just what i didn’t need floating around in my head.

    • How about Roker going commando after shitting himself? How’s that for a visual…??? And exactly WHAT could make him believe anyone needs — or wants — to know that?

  2. That’s actually funny, gross but funny!

  3. Why do I now know this? Why did he think I needed to know this? Who in their right mind tells such a story to anyone, except perhaps to make someone feel better who has suffered through something similar?

    “Say, that’s the stomach-stapled weather-reader who shit himself at the White House.” Well played, sir. Well played indeed.

  4. Cock Dr

    Some things are worse than being fat.

  5. USDA Prime McBeef

    They’ll have to stop calling it the Whitehouse. And burn it to the ground.

  6. Deacon Jones

    I read a longer transcript of this article yesterday.

    Al Roker said something along the lines of “I probably ate something I shouldn’t have” setting up this story.

    So the fat shit, who rather than control himself from eating that cupcake elects to slice his stomach open and rip 80% of it out of his body, continued to eat junk food shortly after the surgery. Nice, you fat pig!

  7. The Royal Penis

    Seriously, is our society so fucked up now that no one has any sense of shame or at least decorum?

    It’s not like he announced that anonymously on the internets or something.

    • Mama Pinkus

      no – so-called “reality TV” was the final nail in the decorum coffin; idiotic, disgusting behavior is not just offered as entertainment, it is highly compensated

  8. cc

    Why did he get gastric bypass surgery? Was he obese?

    I hope he got Roux-en-Y…anything else is for losers.

  9. So if you’re considering Gastric Bypass, you can now look forward to
    – the thought of having your stomach strapped or stapled
    – the prospect of looking like a deflate raisin
    – the risk of shitting yourself.

    Where do I sign up?

    • Mama Pinkus

      I too have noticed gastric bypass really ages people – I think rapid weight loss always does

  10. Natty Ice

    “…and that’s when I knew I had to lay off the Pudding Pops…

  11. Kel

    I hope they’ll put up a plaque where it happened.

  12. Rex Seven

    …and then it got inaugurated….

  13. Michael_D

    Never trust a fart

  14. this shouldn’t even be on the superficial – it should be on it’s own website named i’m the most self-important idiot ever on tv. whoever thinks this stuff should be discussed outside of their doctor’s office has absolutely no class or shame whatsover.

  15. Dean Wermer

    Fat, shitty and stupid is no way to go through life….

  16. BSName

    How often does this word appear in literature?
    Should I be embarrassed that I had to look it up?
    Shart: A small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart
    (blend of “shit” and “fart”)

  17. lawn

    Big deal, ten years ago there was a President who pooped his Underoos all the time.

  18. Devara

    I don’t need gastric bypass. The visual of Roker’s flopping weiner and shatty underpants will keep me on my diet forever.

  19. Sarengeti

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

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