A few weeks back I incorrectly asserted that David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman TV show had been shitcanned after reading The Daily Beast’s rundown on the pilot script. Turns out they’re really going to make this thing and yesterday cast Friday Night Lights star Adrianne Palicki (above) to play the Amazon warrior princess woman lady thing, except with a new David E. Kelley twist:
She’s an anorexic waif that’s unlucky in love. She has THREE identities … that are unlucky in love:
The Daily Beast has obtained a copy of Kelley’s draft of the Wonder Woman pilot script, dated December 16, 2010—and it’s laughably bizarre. In Kelley’s vision, Wonder Woman is presented as a weepy career woman-slash-superheroine with three identities (Wonder Woman; Diana Themyscira, the chairman of Themyscira Industries; and mousy assistant Diana Price) to juggle.
… Managing to be both cloying and tragically un-hip, Kelley’s Wonder Woman script seems an about-face for this 70-year-old iconic character. Merchandise meetings and legal jargon jostle uncomfortably with superheroics, pajama parties with saving the world.
The result is a Wonder Woman who is more like Kelley’s Ally McBeal than the feminist superhero who stands side-by-side with her fellow DC icons Superman and Batman. This is a woman whose feelings are hurt by people commenting on her breast size, who is looking for love in all the wrong places, and who wants to have it all!
Finally, a Wonder Woman who’s self-conscious about her supple breasts AND has pajama parties. It’s as if David E. Kelley reached into my 16-year-old mind and transformed my idealistic and sole concept of lesbianism into a crime-fighting TV show. Also, he seems to imply all women have multiple nonsensical personalities, so it caters to the grown-up in me as well. Not to mention the best line of television dialogue you’ll ever read in your life (Actual quote.): “Big tits save lives!” But are there pop culture references?
Diana and Myndi have a “sleepover,” complete with ice cream (“It’s been a three-scoop day”) as they watch Katy Perry’s sexually suggestive Wonder Woman homage music video and “scream like schoolgirls.” Later, Diana glimpses her original costume in the closet (the Lynda Carter one!) and sadly stares at a picture of herself and Steve in happier times, before crying herself to sleep.
Ha! That’ll teach her to eat ice cream.