A few weeks back I incorrectly asserted that David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman TV show had been shitcanned after reading The Daily Beast’s rundown on the pilot script. Turns out they’re really going to make this thing and yesterday cast Friday Night Lights star Adrianne Palicki (above) to play the Amazon warrior princess woman lady thing, except with a new David E. Kelley twist: She’s an anorexic waif that’s unlucky in love. She has THREE identities … that are unlucky in love:
The Daily Beast has obtained a copy of Kelley’s draft of the Wonder Woman pilot script, dated December 16, 2010—and it’s laughably bizarre. In Kelley’s vision, Wonder Woman is presented as a weepy career woman-slash-superheroine with three identities (Wonder Woman; Diana Themyscira, the chairman of Themyscira Industries; and mousy assistant Diana Price) to juggle.
… Managing to be both cloying and tragically un-hip, Kelley’s Wonder Woman script seems an about-face for this 70-year-old iconic character. Merchandise meetings and legal jargon jostle uncomfortably with superheroics, pajama parties with saving the world.
The result is a Wonder Woman who is more like Kelley’s Ally McBeal than the feminist superhero who stands side-by-side with her fellow DC icons Superman and Batman. This is a woman whose feelings are hurt by people commenting on her breast size, who is looking for love in all the wrong places, and who wants to have it all!
Finally, a Wonder Woman who’s self-conscious about her supple breasts AND has pajama parties. It’s as if David E. Kelley reached into my 16-year-old mind and transformed my idealistic and sole concept of lesbianism into a crime-fighting TV show. Also, he seems to imply all women have multiple nonsensical personalities, so it caters to the grown-up in me as well. Not to mention the best line of television dialogue you’ll ever read in your life (Actual quote.): “Big tits save lives!” But are there pop culture references?
Diana and Myndi have a “sleepover,” complete with ice cream (“It’s been a three-scoop day”) as they watch Katy Perry’s sexually suggestive Wonder Woman homage music video and “scream like schoolgirls.” Later, Diana glimpses her original costume in the closet (the Lynda Carter one!) and sadly stares at a picture of herself and Steve in happier times, before crying herself to sleep.
Ha! That’ll teach her to eat ice cream.
Photos: Getty
At last. A superhero that uses her vagina for good instead of evil.
I get it. She is an Amazon and had her Breasts removed to fire Arrows and stuff.
Failed Before it ever gets started. Will do Parks & Rec type ratings at best.
We want a Hot, Sexy Curvy Wonder-Woman who kicks ass and NEVER whines about stuff.
maybe its just the dress but her figure doesn’t look any better here than kong trashian’s
Cute
I saw another picture of her. She would look a lot better without the fake bolt on boobs.
Absolutely ridiculous. WonderWoman is supposed to have an unmockable rack. UNMOCKABLE.
Agreed X1000.
Wonder Woman needs Sofia Vergara’s rack attached to the rest of Brooklyn Decker. Hell… Even just Brooklyn Decker would do over that thing up there….
Since this show is pretty much guaranteed to be a career killer for the lead actress, Hollywood is actually doing us a favor by saving the good boobs for better roles.
Oh, I see how it works now, McFeely.
“Survival of the Tittest”
Darwin would approve…. :)
Can someone clear this up for me? Is, or is not, “flying the invisible plane” a euphemism for female masturbation?
Okay, how about now? :)
Ha!
What a droll plot!
Adrianne Palicki is vey pretty. But if she ain’t naked, I ain’t watching.
Why bother! I’m already attached to Adrianna Curry’s wonder woman…
WTF – This sounds horrid, the chick is totally sub-par, and David E. Kelley needs to turn in his “Man” card… Wonder Woman needs to be stacked and look like she could Kegel you to death… This reminds me of “The Bionic Woman” reboot (which I liked to my eternal shame) that the damn Writers Guild strike of 2007 screwed up. Hollywood doesn’t need to screw up yet another superhero hottie.
What? Shutup…. :)
Gravy…..Could you just once tell us what you really think instead beating around the bush about it!,please?
That script is mind-numbingly awful, and like everything else these days, designed to help market McPopTart “music” like Katy Perry and Kenya West.
Ally McBeal was unadulterated crap in it’s day as well.
I think you hit the actual intent in your first sentence,,,,”mind-numbing”.
Given the support of the entertainment community for “Obamination”, they are trying to numb our minds so we won’t notice all the crap that Congress and the Prez are pulling.
damn, she’s perfect
I like the right-between-the-eyes mole. Gives a guy something to shoot for.
Soooo will they be showing full frontal nudity? Because that’s the only way thins thing makes it past episode #4. Seriously.
Awful, awful, awful. Wonder Woman is tough, beautiful, strong. She is the epitome of girl power. Slumber parties? Crying herself to sleep? Looking for love?! Wonder Woman needs not these things! Don’t turn her into a whiny bitch.
No comparison between this chick’s roborack and the real thing, so beautifully displayed by the real Wonder Woman, Linda Carter. Linda’s breast were a work of art, created by nature and good old fashioned genes…this mess has the face of a donkey and boobs created by Dow Chemical and molded by some unknown surgeon…..FAIL!
David E. Kelley’s Wonder Woman is an obnoxious female stereotype who’s just looking for love? Wow, color me not surprised.
Not watching. One more reason to never watch network television ever again.
WHAT?!? 4 year olds write better plots in pre-school.
No, seriously. WHAT?!?!
That was just one way to go with the character. Hopefully, they realize that that is the wrong way to go. Every version of WonderWoman I’ve seen whether in cartoon form or real action with Linda Carter shows a strong, confident woman. The writers and producers should think more along the lines of Xena:Warrior Princess, less along the lines of Ally McBeal.
She can tie me up with her golden lasso of truth anytime. (Did that sound geeky?)
Hollywood fucks up again.
Hmmm…Wonder Woman you say? Well, after the rousing and unmitigated success of The Bionic Woman, what could go wrong?
Stay tuned for the reboot of “The Shazam! / Isis Hour”…because we’re officially out of ideas…both original, and good.
I wonder if she is a woman?
My pinball machine has better legs.
that mole between her eyebrows is bothering me. on a bollywood scale
Well, reboots of Manimal, Automan, and Real American Hero should be here any time now….
You forgot Q-Bert.
I thought she was super hot in Friday Night Lights… with an awesome rack. Maybe it’s just the unflattering dress. *shrug*
Sure this sounds stupid, but so did Glee at first. Wait, no, that sucks ass too.
I don’t even understand how Kelley’s script sells to a studio –
Kelley – “Hey you know how Wonder Woman is popular because she has a crazy kick ass costume that’s basically her naked but she doesn’t give a shit because she’s a kick ass warrior princess who’s as strong as Superman and she flies and is one of the best fighters in the world? Well, let’s strip all that away and put her in an unrecognizable costume and make her really pathetic and whiny because she broke up with her boyfriend. And, oh yeah, she’s a corporate douchebag now, too. She’ll barely do any superhero stuff at all because she spends so much time at the office and fighting with her ex.”
Studio – “Fantastic David, we’re going to greenlight this – here’s one biliion dollars!”
Idiots.
Didn’t this girl play a Kryptonian on Smallville? Comic book/superhero movies and TV shows need to stop recycling actors. It’s getting annoying.
And I hate to be “that guy”, because I do think this girl is pretty, but isn’t Wonder Woman supposed to be DROP DEAD gorgeous? The plot of this sounds a little ridiculous anyway. Why does everything have to be edited to fit today’s society so much that it barely resembles the story it is based on? I don’t want to see Wonder Woman working, dating, paying bills. That’s what I do. Why do I want to watch someone on TV do it? I want to see a hot girl kick ass in a sexy costume. That’s what Wonder Woman is. This just sounds like another boring Friends-type sitcom.
This is a TERRIBLE idea for a Wonder Woman show. WTF is Kelly smoking when he thought of this. This man must have never picked up a SINGLE comic book let alone read Wonder Woman or even watched the animation. First off….no matter what, comic book female heroes are all muscular, big titty, tight outfit wearing characters who kick ass. Wonder Woman is Queen of the Amazons not some fucking whining bitch! I’m a chick comic book fan and this shit here TOTALLY offends me as a person and a woman.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t take away our BIG TIT-TIED, tight costume wearing, ass-kicking female super heroes or we the fans will come after you A-HOLE!
Sincerely,
FEMALE COMIC BOOK READERS AND FANS
I CALLED IT.
I like her better as a blond. Also seems like a miscast, but whatever.
According to the daily mail, this part nearly went to Fatina Hendricks.
so glad it did’t as this girl is a million times thinner and prettier than Hendricks.
What a waste! Hope Joss follows up with a better concept.
kelly’s version will flop. it won’t get past the pilot movie. I wanted Nadia Bjorlin. she is Wonder Woman. But I am glad she didn’t get the part. It would kill her career.