Adrian Grenier is straight. No, really.

January 2nd, 2009 // 51 Comments

Here’s Adrian Grenier celebrating the New Year with a bunch of dolphins at Sea World in Australia. Can someone, please, tell me what thought process ended with this guy being cast as Hollywood heartthrob Vincent Chase in Entourage?

HBO EXEC 1: Okay, check it. We’ll cast the lead with someone who is attractive yet completely not-attractive at the same time. Women won’t know whether they want to sleep with this guy or put their vaginas in a lockbox.
HBO EXEC 2: Why would we do that?
HBO EXEC 1: We’re HBO, bitch!
HBO EXEC 2: Can’t argue with that.
HBO EXEC 1: Exactly. Next item, who’s in favor of green-lighting a show about Hare Krishnas who operate exactly like the Mafia?
HBO EXEC 2: You mean, like The Sopranos?
HBO EXEC 1: Bingo.
HBO EXEC 2: Aye!

superficial

  1. blah

    first?

  2. Nope, he is not straight, and yes, you are first? are you happy now? is your life complete?

  3. George W Bush

    This guy has officially left his muscles in his other shirt and he’s got the eyebrows of a 69 year old college Professor. I think his kind of gay, boyish looks and dolphin loving demeanor went out of style when the Brady Bunch went off the air!

  4. so2315

    WOW!!! Look at those fucking eyebrows in the last picture!!!!! They go halfway up his forehead. Too bad he didn’t have the same hairline as Fergie, you know, half way down the forehead. If he had that, he would have a forehead beard.

    He really should look at shaving those old man eyebrows!!

  5. This Poster

    Anyone posting after This Poster sucks on Adrian Grenier’s greasy penis

  6. This Poster

    Nevermind my post #6, I’m just overwhelmed by my obsession with cocks. All cocks, old, young, large, miniature, human, animal, replica, if it’s a cock I want it in my ass first then my mouth. Thank you.

  7. gg

    If, by straight, you mean he has sexual relations with animals of the opposite gender rather than male animals then I guess he could be considered straight.

    That queer gets underneath the horse at the stables to take it up his experienced poopchute. Nasty bastard.

  8. Plop

    The Superficial’s writers are becoming increasingly unfunny.

  9. Plop

    The Superficial’s writers are becoming increasingly unfunny.

  10. max

    Caption for pic #2…..

    “eek, get those girly cooties away from me!”

    First line of story revised…

    “Here’s Adrian Grenier celebrating the New Year with a bunch of homosexuals, a few dolphins and a female human decoy at Sea World in Australia.”

  11. Confoosed

    what’s wrong with dolphins?

  12. When I swim with dolphins their snouts tend to ram up my ass. They are so deliciously phallic! And when I get out of the water, there is a surprisingly smaller amount of water left in the ocean… oh wait… there’s the Indian Ocean! It was up my butt the whole time!

  13. Realist

    Not news and not funny. Writers, kill yourselves.

  14. “the real roughers” call me when you finally type something funny!

  15. caliente

    am i the only one who thinks he’s really hot?

  16. caliente

    am i the only one who thinks he’s really hot?

  17. caliente

    am i the only one who thinks he’s really hot?

  18. This Poster

    and don’t forget greasy!! No matter what, those cocks I love have to be greasy! Drive-in fast food places are my favorite places to “Mac Donald’s” because I can use an old french fry bag to lube up.

  19. blogslut

    Are you kidding me? This is the least-funny post I’ve ever seen on The Superficial. Chicks freaking love Adrian Grenier. He’s absolutely beautiful. Who gives a shit if his eyebrows aren’t plucked? He’s hot, and doesn’t seem particularly gay at all.

  20. Mardi

    As a straight woman, the only guess I could possibly make as to why he was cast as lead in Entourage is because he’s AMAZINGLY, SMOKINGLY HOTTTTTT. So hot I had to make up words to describe his hotness. Man that guy is hot.

  21. Suzie

    He looks damn good! I’d Hit It!!!

  22. Elizabeth

    Wouldn’t kick that out of bed. ;)

  23. Nor Cal

    even if you think he’s hot -which he’s not- but even if you like this chick, he looks like a vanilla pudding ad for boy bands from San Francisco with that homo smiling bullshit. phish -your the bomb again -I’m so hooked!

  24. Terry

    Yeah he’s gay… says YOU! I’m sure he’s losing sleep over being called gay by internet writers. Oh wait, he’s losing sleep because he is probably nailing models, 2 at a time.

    And is there anything a chick wouldn’t love more than seeing a good looking heartthrob posing with dolphins.

    This isn’t gay, it is the ultimate chick magnet move!

    Well played, Mr. Grenier. Well played.

  25. Amanda

    one word: EWWWWWWWW.

  26. GG1000

    THAT’S why he never cleans up! ‘Cause he looks like a fag when he does. Thanks for clearing that mystery up for me, Superfish.

  27. Lea

    ow come on people he’s So Cute !! what are u blind ?!

  28. Shiri

    I think he’s hot, bushy brows and all.

  29. Julie Ann

    In pic 6 he looks kind of..demonic.

  30. c.l.m.

    Why does almost everyone bash homosexuals on this site? If Adrian Grenier was gay, which he’s probably not, but *if* he was, why would it be something that people have to comment so negatively about? I seriously wonder how many viewers this site forfeits due to the negative and hateful comments regarding homosexuals.

  31. Not even.

    No he’s not hot. Not even ugly-attractive, but repelling instead.

  32. joss

    he’ll forever be the jackass boyfriend from The Devil Wears Prada, for me unfortunately.

  33. Sport

    Ghai.

  34. He was just “MADE” with a soft/flabby penis, folks.
    ……………….THAT’S ALL!!

  35. @31

    Hey Rainbow Brite–

    Go wedge that butt plug back up your ass and mince on over to a different site that’s more your speed. This is THE SUPERFICIAL, not kumbaya.com. EVERYONE gets bashed here, including the cock gobbling, dirt-hole stabbers such as yourself.

  36. Me

    I agree with Plop and Suzanne. This post is not funny and he is smokin’.

  37. tahnee

    he is such a tool.

  38. Ummm...yeah...

    That guy is not a good looking heartthrob, he looks like a piece of shit to me.Terry STFU…that motherfucker is as gay as you are, fag. Elizabeth, so sorry dear he is gay ,so he wouldn’t be getting into your bed, your brothers’ is more like it.

  39. Cartman

    Those eyebrows of his are freaky indeed. Although if he trimmed them people would call him gay. And they would grow back anyway.

  40. Pilatunes

    Entourage is a SHITTY show. It’s not funny, or dramatic or anything…other than boring. And him being cast as a hearthrob? Shouldn’t he have the muscular development of someone older than 12 to be somewhat desirable? I think I will bribe my 13 year old nephew to beat the shit out of him.

  41. Pilatunes

    Entourage is a SHITTY show. It’s not funny, or dramatic or anything…other than boring. And him being cast as a hearthrob? Shouldn’t he have the muscular development of someone older than 12 to be somewhat desirable? I think I will bribe my 13 year old nephew to beat the shit out of him.

  42. swex

    I bet his dildo is bigger than that dolphins nose!

  43. popspawn

    id do him…
    he’s better looking & has a better attitude than at least 89% of males on this side of america

  44. Cornelius

    More importantly – what’s with all these celebs in Australia at the same time all of a sudden? Seems like everyone was photographed “while in Australia”

  45. ~*Adrienne*~

    What is wrong with him being with dolphins? As if you guys would pass up the oppurtunity to swim with dolphins. Its not just for women you know. Good god. He’s just having fun on a vacation what do you expect of him!??!

    He doesn’t look like a fag/gay guy either he looks like a normal fucking guy. Cute if i might add. I just never will understand why people are so derogatory and hateful towards other people that actually HAVE a life and are successful. Why don’t you just shove a pear up your ass!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. He is the biggest ASSHOLE I met him in Burbank!! Wow what a complete FUCKHEAD. So inlove with himself, glad he is, no one else gives a shit!! And truely into men!

  47. carlito

    Who cares if he is a fag or not we all need to feel sorry for this bushy-browed, cheese-cocked, thalidomide-armed(pic.1) “superhunk”. He is the only person in the history of Hollywoodland who plays a character MORE famous than he is in real life. He just doesnt want filming to stop on the Entourage set!! When the director shouts cut he gives back the cars and the house and goes back to his condo in Reseda to masturbate over Kevin Connolly pics with the lights off so the landlord doesnt knock for the rent.

  48. KYLIE

    I think this guy is just bothersome looking. I cant put my finger on it but his face annoys the hell out of me. What is it?

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