Adrian Peterson’s Nike Contract Is Suspended

Because if everyone works fast enough, the NFL can sweep this all up by Thursday night, Nike has suspended Adrian Peterson’s contract, according to ESPN’s Darren Rovell:

“Nike in no way condones child abuse [Ed. Note: I’ll assume “but our factories though” got cut off. – SW] or domestic violence of any kind and has shared our concerns with the NFL. We have suspended our contract with Adrian Peterson.”

In response, Adrian Peterson tweeted, “This is ALL Part of God’s Plan to turn Me Into Something even Stronger than a Diamond! Like a LASER BEAM! #WhoopDemKids #PraiseJesus”

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