Adam Baldwin Is A Shithead

February 25th, 2014 // 74 Comments
Adam Baldwin
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We’ve got industries contaminating water supplies, rampant unemployment, a laughing stock of an education system, yet discriminating against homosexuals and making sure whores don’t get their whore pills are the top priorities of the American right because it’s still winning them elections despite being a feeble attempt to delay an inevitable future where rich, white, Christian men have pretty much the same amount of power they do now except queers can get married, so let’s torch the whole country. Which brings us to to Firefly and Chuck actor Adam Baldwin who, in 2014, thinks that same sex marriage is a gateway to incest. Via HuffPost:

Baldwin unleashed his rant on Feb. 20, after posting a link to an article on The Hill about Matt Bevin, the Republican hoping to defeat Sen. Mitch McConnell in Kentucky’s November 2014 Senate race. NewNowNext reported. Last week, Bevin suggested legalizing same-sex marriages could lead to the legalization of parent-child marriages for issues like tax purposes.
From his verified account, Baldwin tweeted a link to the article with the hashtag “#PolymorphousPerversity.”
- What’s wrong, now, with a father marrying his son for love & to avoid tax penalties?
- Who said anything about “sex,”H8rs?! This is a Liberty & ca$h deal! Love ≠ Sex.
- Why would #SSM advocates H8 the idea of fathers & sons using marriage exemptions to avoid governmental tax confiscations? ~ #Liberty

In before someone says, “FREEDAMASPEECH.”

Now that we have two (non-related) Baldwins openly making dickheads of themselves, let me state for the record, that Adam Baldwin claims he doesn’t think homosexuality leads to actual incest. He just believes that by legalizing gay marriage we’ll start letting fathers marry their sons because you know how those liberals are with their tolerance. Not to mention, they clearly hate the “traditional” family, so what better way to destroy that than by making Pop leave Mom for Jimmy to get few more bucks at H&R Block? It’s like Adam Baldwin found our playbook except he didn’t at all and is just another dying gasp of a world that will never be again, so eat a dick. Yes, liberals believe in tolerance, but not in some sort of fucked up orgiastic grab bag where animals and family are freely taken as lovers over never-ending feasts. The south already has that covered.

Photo: Getty


  1. teddy

    I think he makes a valid point.

  2. Goose

    I’m just hoping for some intellectual consistency – we obviously *do* make statutory determinations about which persons’ marriages are recognized by the State eg a woman’s marriage to her son wouldn’t be recognized and they wouldn’t be issued a license.

    • Goose

      So what gay marriage advocates want is merely an expansion of the statutory definition of marriage. So if we expand it for one special interest group, shouldn’t we expand it for all special interest groups?

      • your grampa

        That’s what I told them when they started letting whites and coloreds get married. I knew it was going to lead to this kind of insanity. Now get orf mah lawn!

      • You’re saying homosexuality is a “special interest group?” You’re just fucking with us, right?

      • I’m hoping it’s just the brain tumor making him talk all crazy.

      • erasure25

        Stop being a moron. In America we expanded marriage equality by making it legal for a white person to marry a black person. Was that ALSO a slippery slope to bestiality, incest, or polygamy? No.

        So why make the same argument for same-sex marriage? If that logic didn’t apply when marriage was expanded for racial reasons, then it isn’t valid for same-sex marriage either….

        Please stop being a moron.

    • JC

      Except this is one of the narrowest expansions possible. It goes from “two consenting adults of opposite gender” to “two consenting adults.” In spite of all the screaming that slippery slope fetishists do, nothing in “two consenting adults” means sex with children or turtles.

      If anything, some of the existing state laws on hetero marriage should be reined in, like all the states that allow kids under 16 to get married as long as Ma and Pa says it’s O.K. Marrying children isn’t a consequence of gay marriage–it’s already on the books.

    • when people claim they don’t see a difference between two consenting adults and a incestuous or human/animal relationship…it doesn’t convince the the former is wrong. It makes me think that person is one fucked up monkey.

      • Slash

        I think you meant to write “It makes me think that person is a fucking idiot.”

        It’s OK. Common mistake.

        Republicans do have a problem with the concept of “consent.” And “adult.” And probably “a.”

      • Ted Knight

        What about man -horse love? When is my preference going to be normalized?

      • erasure25

        When the horse can legally consent.

    • It’s really fucking simple. Two consenting adults who are not closely related to each other should not be stopped from marrying just because some old fuckers who have misunderstood everything they read in the Bible think it is icky.

      • How closely related is too close? I have a friend who wants to know.

      • PunkA

        Yep. Line will be drawn somewhere regardless. So where are you comfortable drawing it, and why? Gonna be different for many people.

        So same gender is ok, unless too closely related? WHat is that? No father-son, mother -father? What about uncle-nephew, when they are both consenting adults? People make say that that this is ridiculous, but then they said teh same thing about same sex marriage 20 years ago, didn;t they.

        How about polygamy? It;s all just love right, not hurting anyone.

        Like I said, a line has to be drawn somewhere.

      • A line is not required. Common sense is.

      • BobTheBob

        What is the argument for denying marriage in the case of two consenting closely related gay adults? Say, two cousins, both over 18. No fear of screwed up genetic children.

      • BobTheBob

        After actually looking up the laws and seeing that cousin marriage is legal in most of Europe and several states, lets change the question to what is the argument against gay sibling marriage?

  3. JC

    I agree with Adam what we should start cracking down on tax breaks. First up: Churches are no longer tax exempt. Also, dividends will be taxed as income, not interest. Still with me, corporate and religious America? No?

  4. Freebie

    Only bears a passing resemblance to Jayne these days. It’s a bitch getting old.

  5. Its all a smoke screen to deny gays rights. I call bullshit on their weak argument…as should any logical thinking person, regardless if liberal or conservative.

  6. Maybe in his household, gay sex DID lead to incest.

  7. You know how I know I’m old? Because Fish identifies Adam Baldwin as “Firefly and Chuck actor,” and I think of him as from My Bodyguard and Full Metal Jacket.

    By the way, My Bodyguard? Totally gay. Also, Full Metal Jacket.

  8. His character on Firefly was named Jayne, so I’ll always think of him as being a little trans-gender.

  9. I know it sounds weird, but ever since I became anti gay marriage, my homosexual thoughts and urges have decreased 84% and my chances of being received into the kingdom of heaven tripled.

  10. alex

    Don’t mess with Ricky Linderman!

  11. Marriage is a dead concept

    Ugh, not more bickering about marriage! Face facts, marriage is a dead concept. The divorce rate indicates marriage doesn’t represent a long-term relationship. The adultery rate means indicates marriage doesn’t mean fidelity. The introduction of gay marriage now mean marriage doesn’t even indicate a male-female pairing. All marriage is now is a poorly rendered contract which can be used to defeat tax and immigration laws. And then there is the religious aspect with which the government should have no association. Face facts, grow up, and give up on beating the maggots out of this dead horse concept.

    • I find it hard to disagree with this. Stop calling it marriage and call it what it is – a civil union. Nothing more than a contract, for everyone, religious or not.

    • PunkA

      Your argument is ignorant. It’s not a concept, it’s a social structure. And as that structure has been diminished, mostly through individual selfishness, society’s issues have increased greatly. Selfishness is the problem, not marriage.

      But I don;t expect you to be smart enough to be able to understand this argument.

      • I don’t think ANYONE is smart enough to understand that argument.

      • Punk A, I wish I were deluded enough to think that all of the problems in a complex society could all be traced to one simple cause. But since I’m an adult who realizes the world is a nuanced place I guess I’ll never know the inner peace that comes with stupidity.

  12. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Animal Mother.

  13. j/k

    I love how the right makes up crazy contrived scenarios to defend their crazy contrived beliefs.

  14. What an idiotic argument. How does this sound?

    If we give black people rights, what’s to stop the other minorities from demanding rights?

    In a country with an over 50% divorce rate, the “marriage is a sacred thing” argument doesn’t fly. Straight people have had all of history to wipe their asses with marriage. It’s the gays turn now.

  15. If you can promise that it leads to legalized parent-child marriages, Ted Nugent will flip his stance on gay marriage.

  16. Know who’s REAL fat? Christina Hendricks, you pitiful chubby chaser.

  17. eh

    We should have known he was politically unsound when he suggested that all niggers should hang in Full Metal Jacket.

  18. Remember when he said “All fucking niggers must fucking hang!” in FMJ? That definitely wasn’t acting. I had total and complete belief in his conviction in that statement. Or, maybe Stanley Kubrick made him say the line 50 times and got the best take on the 48th try, who knows.

  19. Stoney_Bro

    Wait, I’m confused. Adam Baldwin is Jason Sudekis dressed as Joe Biden?

  20. Mitch

    Wah wah wah…this place is getting mighty whiny.

    I could care less if homosexuals want to get married as long as they could care less if I own a gun. Let everyone do what makes them happy and cut out the shitstorm about everything.

    • Except one of those things is a widely mishandled tool made for the sole purpose of ending life, and the other is just two people being afforded common human decency.

      But, you know, same diff.

      • Slash

        Well, that and the fact that owning a gun is not illegal in any U.S. sate, while same-sex marriage is illegal in 33 states.

  21. Butters

    Who cares?

    The problem is the state being involved in marriage at all. If you want to get married, go ahead marry anyone or anything you like. Just do the following:

    1. Remove all tax and government benefits for marriage.
    2. Provide a standard contract for co-habitation that allows any easy way for people to separate their assets if they no longer want to be together.

    All problems solved!

  22. captaintighpants

    As much as I liked Jayne, I hope Joss deletes this bigot from his contacts.

  23. Swearin

    So, he really is the gun-loving, Reagan-worshipping conservative he played on “Chuck”?

  24. Amanda

    The man they call Jayne isnt such a big damn hero now, is he?

  25. Ted Moeller

    When is my man -horse preference going to be appreciated and normalized?

  26. Has anyone ever accused Adam Baldwin of being an intellectual?

  27. I am a random, anonymous internet a$$hole whose opinion means nothing. I come to TS to read about how people I don’t care about apparently piss off the guy who decides what should be posted on this website. I certainly don’t come here for anything: (i) interesting (that is what actual news websites are for); (ii) titillating (that’s what Egotastic/1M other websites are for); or (iii) sober, non-drunken random internet people conversation about anything.

    After 15 years or however long this website has managed to bother people with banner ads, you might think the head-poster might have his opinions on other people a bit tempered, or at least become more cynical and thus more indifferent to what other people think, as far out and disagreeable as they might be. Alas, that is not the case.

    Because I feel bad for this website and its operator, I am going to click on the link, push the operator about 13 cents, and may he can use the money to buy more pictures of chicks.

  28. Edie

    This just makes my hunger for gay Jayne Cobb fanfiction all the more satisfying.

  29. Fribble

    I know two faggot brothers who want to get married so they can ass-fuck each other and have State sanctioned shit dicks. They can’t reproduce, so who are we to deny them the joys of ass-to-mouth sex?
    Quit being so intollerant, America! So what if they are brothers! Their love is all that matters!

  30. Leave a comment yourself Fool!

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