Zooey Deschanel is Getting Divorced, Too

November 2nd, 2011 // 66 Comments

Remember how everyone was getting pregnant at the same time? Well, now it’s divorces except somehow not involving the people who just had babies which doesn’t make any sense. Anyway, Zooey Deschanel has called it quits with Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard, according to Us Magazine:

Just two years after tying the knot, Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard have separated, Deschanel’s rep confirms to Us Weekly.
“It was mutual and amicable,” a source adds. “There was no third party involved.”
The New Girl actress, 31, and Death Cab for Cutie frontman, 35, got married near Seattle, Wash. in late September 2009.

I’ll be frank: I only posted this because much like the Emma Watson crazies out there, I know there are a bunch of dudes who go apeshit for Zooey Deschanel. Although at least with Zooey, I can understand because she has giant breasts. (Your Highness. Get on it.) Whereas the Emma lovers should seriously be in a database that’s accessible to parents. I’m talking it has its own app: “Angry Pervs.”

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. kara

    she was married? huh. had no clue

  2. OK

    Giant breasts? No.

  3. I never knew of this chick until I saw her crappy show called New Girl. Why is she famous again?

  4. Rough the pollster

    Her parents were seeing rainbow when they add the extra O in her name? I dont know this chick. My pop culture knowledge is fading fast.

  5. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Motorboat Captain
    Commented on this photo:

    Giant since when? Those are barely handfuls.

  6. God is Black

    Seriously I thought it was Katy Perry getting divorced(Joy,Joy,Joy!) but then I saw no humongous boobs! Damn!

  7. Barney Stinson

    Katy Perry’s body…. Zoey’s face…… oh yeah!

  8. Deacon Jones



  9. EmmaWatson's Vagina

    no comment

  10. EmmaWatson's Vagina

    no comment

  11. Snake142

    The timing of the divorce reveals a lot about who she is, the sudden hit TV show leading to an immediate divorce spells only one thing- a developing EGO problem

  12. bob the banker

    Think you’ve done more posts today than the past two weeks combined! What are you on and can I have some?

  13. “There was no third party”…YET!

  14. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Rock throwing hipster
    Commented on this photo:

    He probably heard her sing in that cotton commercial.

  15. Vandinz

    I would love to go balls deep in her fartbox.

  16. stratacat

    she looks like jack lemmon in drag circa “some like it hot.”

  17. Fembot Engineer

    We learned a lot from the problems with the Katy Perry fembot model and worked in a lot of fixes in this Deschanel version. We’ve still got some problems with life-likeness but we will get that figured out before release of the 3.0 version. Thank you for your patience.

  18. Frank

    i call dibs.

  19. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick drives people wild, RU shitting me. She looks like a less buoyant version of Katy Perry.

  20. Ghost

    Her star is on the rise so now it’s time to trade up to a man who doesn’t look like a bridge troll.

  21. forrest gump

    ………….after how many day’s, folks?

  22. j.j.

    Giant breasts? Something wrong with your eyes?

  23. cc

    I hope this doesn’t interfere with her performance on her new show; her performances are reminiscent of Lawrence Olivier at his peak.

  24. Schmidtler

    how is it that anybody that thinks Emma Watson is good looking is a pedo or gay, when the fact of the matter is, she’s an ivy league educated 100% natural completely legal over 18 woman? I should prefer a completely vapid, unfunny, self absorbed fake bimbo named ‘Zooey’, when everything about her is phoney, from her name to her tits to her laugh? I can’t stand to sit through 60 seconds of her stupid tv show, I could never tolerate being in the same room as her for more than a minute. unless she was unconscious, or ass up naked with a sock stuffed in her mouth, or both.

    • SisterRay

      Some guys really get fixated on the hair. No hair = not female.

    • Apparently if you aren’t born with giant breasts, have enough self-esteem not to get giant bolt-ons and chop off your hair after having to have it long most of your life for a movie role, that means you look like a boy. And despite being a girl and being of legal age, guys that find you attractive are pedophiles?

    • lalala

      She only got in to that school because of her fame and money, plus didn’t she drop out anyway?

      • jus sayin

        Yeah she did…she was a troll. She and Rumer Willis roomed together and took down an entire wing and made it their own. Brown won’t even let “regular” students paint their dorm rooms. Plus neither of them can tip for shit.

      • jus sayin

        And she totally looks like a hipster boy…kind of like Justin Beiber.

    • kara

      uh because emma watson looks like a dyke. that’s part of it i’m sure

      • eeeeeww!hooker

        That is uncalled for!
        She is a very handsome young girl.

        I think its funny that so many people get fired up about the pedo thing, justifying their hard-on by saying, “She is 18!”

        You know what?
        If she looks like a twelve year old, acts like a twelve year old, ummm, stars in movies targeted to 12 yr. olds

      • ...

        You might wanna consider renting the Prince of Tides?

  25. Morgan

    Zoey’s a crazy leftist vegan hipster with a a constant need to assert herself as quirky and unique.

    Would hatefuck, but I’d rather have her big sister Emily, she seems much more sensible.

  26. old man

    Her eyes say she is crazy, in the “im going to use a turkey baster to trap you and consume your soul while banging everyone else in sight” crazy.

  27. Dan

    I think she is really cute.

  28. See Alice

    I think her sister is so much hotter . Zoo ey is just a super thin Katy Parry .

  29. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Commented on this photo:

    she has chubby legs but goddamn those beautiful blue eyes, also great skin :)
    yes, i’m jelly

  30. Maybe he watched a couple episodes of New Girl.

  31. Venom

    She is pretty hot even though she is an idiot hipster douchebag.

    • ...

      Shit is she ever!
      Did you see the episode of her on Top Chef where she told all these guys that she was a vegan, gluten-free, soy-free, fucking kill-joy? Aaaargh. And you know what? I will say it..Death Cab For Cutie is to Rock and Roll what Carrot Top is to Comedy.

      Friggin assclowns.

  32. HackSaw

    I would occupy that.

  33. TheAdmiral

    I would totally buy and play a game called “Angry Pervs”. Just sayin’.

  34. Veronica

    Agreed – sister is way better.

  35. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Commented on this photo:

    Most over rated broad in history. She is not fun or funny and she has big cellulite ridden thighs.

    She is a 5 out of 10

  36. Zooey Deschanel Divorce
    Commented on this photo:

    Most over rated broad in history. She is not fun or funny and she has big cellulite ridden thighs.

    She is a 5 out of 10

  37. Leblanc

    He was way too good for Russel Brand anyways.

  38. Insom

    I think she is ugly as hell.

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