Zendaya Is Mary Jane In Spider-Man: Homecoming

In this nerd’s opinion, Marvel pussied out by making the now-third iteration of Spider-Man Peter Parker instead of Miles Morales. It was chicken-shit, and before you think you’re saying something clever like, “How’d that work out for Fantastic Four?” that was Fox not Marvel, and you’d know that if you stopped having an active sex life. – *pets comic books* Shh, shh, Daddy didn’t mean it. – But according to The Wrap, Marvel and Sony have taken a quasi-bold stance and switched up Spider-Man’s girlfriend by casting Zendaya as Mary Jane Watson, which naturally caused reactions like this, so already I’m on board:

Let’s give Todd the floor:

In the meantime, DC is making some bold statements of its own by bringing back Superman’s spit-curl? Wow, that totally makes up for two and half hours of dour butthole where Superman sulks the entire time because Ghost Kevin Costner keeps telling him saving people is dumb. It’s all over for Marvel now. They should just stopping making movies.

“Mommy, can Superman be my boyfriend!”
“Haha, no, sweetie. He’s a grown-up.”
“Well, actually…”

(Lost? This’ll help.)

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