Zac Efron needs to be a man

December 5th, 2007 // 111 Comments

Vanessa Hudgens wants Zac Efron to stop being a pansy. She’s getting tired of his pretty boy antics and basically wants Zac to grow a pair, according to the latest issue of Star magazine:

“She wants to date a man, not a little girl,” an insider revealed to Star. “Vanessa told (Zac) to stop being such a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes.”

Zac apparently got his panties in a bunch last month and almost bailed on a birthday party for Vanessa’s little sister:

“He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him — and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.”

For a low weekly fee of $50,000, I’ll give Zac Efron lessons in being a man. My 100-week course will cover such manly topics as: Who needs a 401k when you can buy lap dances? Beer as part of a balanced breakfast. Tuning out your significant other so you can concentrate on a TV show you don’t even want to watch. And, of course, smoking a cigar while driving a tank. At the end, Zac Efron will be so rugged he’ll never whine about a pimple again – because it’ll be hidden under his beard! If your computer crashed, it’s because my words just assaulted it with ruggedness.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. ding dong

    he reminds me of a young rob lowe. i wonder when his video of him banging two teenage girls in atlanta is going to come out.

  2. PHil

    I love his Blue Steel pose.

  3. Tapeworm

    He should hire someone to beat the fuck out of him like the scene at the end of “25th Hour”. Then he doesn’t have to worry about his “looks” anymore.

    (By “someone”, I mean “me”, and by “hire”, I mean “ask someone to do it gratis”, because I gladly would.)

    I’d have to work around his schedule though, between his vagina waxings and manicures, there’s not a lot of free time.

  4. Pix

    Beer as a balanced breakfast? I’ll raise my 40 oz of Colt 45 to that!

  5. moka

    why bother saying what it has been repeated in every comment here, the guy is obviously GAY.
    and why she wants to date a man?? she is just a little girl! oh yeah, i think she likes pedophilians and wants to grow fast and have surgery everywhere on her body to look older, and than a couple of years later, surgery again to look younger… and on and on, till she stops looking for a real man among gays.

  6. sue

    He looks like one of those guys who bats his eyelashes so you will comment on his blue blue eyes. He also looks like he cries easily. Gag.

  7. Real Chad

    ATTENTION: Vanessa Hudgens

    I’m sure that there are literally thousands of men out there that are man enough to supply you with some well deserved lovin. Drop the pansy ass (after HSM3, I’m sure) and move on.

    On a side note…

    Vanessa is a prime example of when two…I’ll say not-so-attractive people…get together and reproduce to make magic. I don’t know how this happens, but I see it all the time. This chick is very cute now and has the potential to be gorgeous.

  8. veggi

    He’s a bottom. Why put him on top?

  9. sharpeidude

    This girl must have the intelligence of a fucking haystack if she hasn’t realized that Zacky-boy prefers balls on his chin to clit on his grin.

  10. 21st century digital boy

    It’s reduntant, but I’ll say it anyway. Vanessa Hudgens is a confused, so very confused girl if she thinks that her girlfriend’s going to turn butch anytime soon. Her request probably sent Zac to his room in tears where he consoled himself with Madonna’s greatest hits.

    Are relationships like these based on some kind of late-stage, not-wanting-to- give-up-playing-with-dress-up dolls phase that teenage girls go through or something?

  11. KTG13

    When did Clay Aiken start dating chicks? And why is he back in the news?

  12. pissed off for that??? whew… what a gay!

  13. Kris

    If he’d be any gayer, he’d have a vagina.

    Six months later we’ll be seeing pictures of him and Ryan Seacrest and a possible sex tape. They’ll break up and then Zac will make ends meet by doing gay porn as Disney drops him and Ryan will still be a plague upon Hollywood and raiding my beauty products.

  14. I gots to get me a beard.

    And a tank.

    And a cigar.

    And I’ll definitely make my girl stroke my beard while I watch High School Musical.

    Stroke it baby.

  15. Someone should tell Little Miss Furpie that he’s a fruit.

  16. Mystress Jade

    They make me want to hurt kittens.

  17. Right on #1.

    I’m so so tired of American media portraying people like Zac Efron as male, straight hotties. First, he is quite possibly gay…even if he really isn’t, he should not be getting young, pretty gals all that easily…even if he is a rich young actor. What is wrong with American gals having the hots for people like Zac Efron and Clay Aiken, even they’re aren’t gay…they are not attractive men? You dumb and stupid little bitches!

    And the reason why Hollywood dons people like Zac Efron and Clay Aiken is because much of the people who control the biz are gay men who like young, feminine looking guys…that is the only real explanation I can think of. Where are the Matt McConauhey’s…Tom Sellicks….Roger Moore’s…Andy Pettitte’s…these guys aren’t all that rugged. But at least they’re tall, handsome, and MALE looking.

    If Brad Pitt continues to be the standard of white, hot males in the US, I’m going to end up moving to Germany!

  18. Karisha

    What a queer! No offense to all the gays, but he really is one of those DIVA gays….

  19. Karisha

    What a queer! No offense to all the gays, but he really is one of those DIVA gays….

  20. #67 We won’t miss you, you underarm-haired bitch. Toodles!

  21. makemepuke

    Who the fuck is Zac Efron?

  22. Someone reported that they had a hot kiss photo at which is a niche interracial dating site.
    cute couple there. wanna see more

  23. jason

    zac is such a fkn homo!


    he probably shaves more than nessa does..?

  24. jason

    Also whoever makes this website is a fkn ledgend.

    I will shout you a beer *CHEERS*

  25. Sebastián

    “the reason why Hollywood dons people like Zac Efron and Clay Aiken is because much of the people who control the biz are gay men who like young, feminine looking guys…”

    Really… Being gay means liking MEN. Just check craigslist and see how everyone asks for masculine guys, and not queens. Being a closeted gay man means liking girls who look like men, and men who look like girls (so you don’t feel so queer when you’re fucking them). Those closeted gay men may be running the show bussiness. They are certainly writing posts like yours (by the way, having the hots for Tom Selleck, not that hetero-sounding as you may think). So the problem is with closeted gay men who think there’s something wrong with liking the meat lollipop.

    That and teenage girls. They’re always a problem.

    We “the gays” like rugged men more than you do (or would care to admit, anyway).

    The problem with this boy is not that he might be gay, it’s just that he’s not that goodlooking as Disney insists he is. No marketing campaign will convince me that that psycho elf is a good-looking man. He’s just some non threatening, childish looking, chorus line dancing twink for girls 9 to 12. I’m just waiting for him to follow Lindsay’s road (then he might be fun, at least).

    As for Clay Aiken, he can’t even fake it. That man is UGLY and annoying. Nice voice, though, but I wouldn’t touch him with a pole (or let him touch me with his)

  26. Nobody

    I’d hit it.

  27. Candace

    Isn’t he a teenage guy? I would think most teenagers “freak out” if they get a pimple. I totally understand. He’s NORMAL!! Get over it!

  28. Sebastián

    Just noticed that debisis might (just might) be a woman. So I may just have ranted, then, about his (her) dubious heterosexuality and the hidden condition of her (his) sexual attractions.

    I’m sorry. It’s just that homophobia makes me mad. But being a woman, I don’t get that “gays control the show bussines” thing. It might just be because I’m at a loss trying to think of a gay major network executive, or gay studio owner, or gay powerful whatever. Where is the velvet mafia? Do you really think that gays are positively portrayed by US media? Are “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” or “Will & Grace” positive images of homosexuality? Or are we been shown as fatuous queens who only care about fashion, clothes and frivolity? I think that homesexuality has become the scapegoat for the guilty pleasures of heterosexuality and an useful corporate stunt to sell more skin treatments and designer furniture.

    Meanwhile, we are still discriminated. And debisis is still a sexually indeterminate angry whore.

  29. Sebastián

    “being a woman, I don’t get that “gays control the show bussines” thing” is “being debisis a woman”

  30. toma

    wow, that guy was seen wondering on don’t whether it is true or not. But you know the it is a sugar mommy seeking sugar baby site.

  31. as a woman ,I WANT a person who can give me happiness,I THINK each girl so , including famous girl

  32. as a woman ,I WANT a person who can give me happiness,I THINK each girl so , including famous girl

  33. as a woman ,I WANT a person who can give me happiness,I THINK each girl so , including famous girl

  34. Pictures are pretty good.
    Interest in military guys’ marriage life?
    It’s no less interesting than this!!!
    Come on and have a look.

  35. sidv

    Come on Zack, if Victoria Beckham (self proclaimed gay man) would go into hiding every time she gets a pimple, she would never leave the house.

  36. Narcissist

    Is he cross eyed? Lazy eyed? What’s goin on with those Dixie Chicks eyes?

  37. sabbboy

    If she wants to date a man why the hell is she dating Zac Efron?

  38. eeeee


  39. eeeee


  40. eeeee


  41. eeeee


  42. Henry

    Yeah, there’s something about that seems really gay, really sissy, but hey maybe vanessa knows about and since he’s so afrid to come out of the closet all by himself, maybe he asked her to pretend to be with him so no one would say anything, who knows, in a weird way, he’s kinda cute, but then his sissyness ruins everything.

  43. osma lufti

    hahaha that girl vanessa is SO going to be the next britney….

  44. John

    I think he should not change at all! If this slut wants to date a real man than she should find another one. What’s the point, i don’t get it, If I was Zac I would give a FUCK what people think of me. People sometimes need to shut their fucking mouths. And this slut should get banged by some “real” men and then she would finally shut the hell up.

  45. Ms.Brookey

    Ok I didn’t want to have to be the one to tell you but he’s GAY GAY GAY! She is only his girlfriends when the cameras are on. Did anyone see her vagina? It was 14 year ols vagina though. The pediphiles went nuts!

  46. Kimberly

    Vanessa Hudgens has a butt chin.

  47. Jay

    Maybe she should send another naked pic to him. This time with her legs spread….

    What a whore.

  48. i think zac is cool

  49. i think zac is cool

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