Zac Efron needs to be a man
Vanessa Hudgens wants Zac Efron to stop being a pansy. She’s getting tired of his pretty boy antics and basically wants Zac to grow a pair, according to the latest issue of Star magazine:
“She wants to date a man, not a little girl,” an insider revealed to Star. “Vanessa told (Zac) to stop being such a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes.”
Zac apparently got his panties in a bunch last month and almost bailed on a birthday party for Vanessa’s little sister:
“He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him — and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.”
For a low weekly fee of $50,000, I’ll give Zac Efron lessons in being a man. My 100-week course will cover such manly topics as: Who needs a 401k when you can buy lap dances? Beer as part of a balanced breakfast. Tuning out your significant other so you can concentrate on a TV show you don’t even want to watch. And, of course, smoking a cigar while driving a tank. At the end, Zac Efron will be so rugged he’ll never whine about a pimple again – because it’ll be hidden under his beard! If your computer crashed, it’s because my words just assaulted it with ruggedness.