Zac Efron needs to be a man

December 5th, 2007 // 111 Comments

Vanessa Hudgens wants Zac Efron to stop being a pansy. She’s getting tired of his pretty boy antics and basically wants Zac to grow a pair, according to the latest issue of Star magazine:

“She wants to date a man, not a little girl,” an insider revealed to Star. “Vanessa told (Zac) to stop being such a sissy and freaking out when he gets blemishes.”

Zac apparently got his panties in a bunch last month and almost bailed on a birthday party for Vanessa’s little sister:

“He just flipped out. He knew there were a bunch of girls at the party who worship him — and he didn’t want them all staring at his pimple.”

For a low weekly fee of $50,000, I’ll give Zac Efron lessons in being a man. My 100-week course will cover such manly topics as: Who needs a 401k when you can buy lap dances? Beer as part of a balanced breakfast. Tuning out your significant other so you can concentrate on a TV show you don’t even want to watch. And, of course, smoking a cigar while driving a tank. At the end, Zac Efron will be so rugged he’ll never whine about a pimple again – because it’ll be hidden under his beard! If your computer crashed, it’s because my words just assaulted it with ruggedness.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. fergernauster

    I don’t know if he NEEDS to be a man.

    He is clearly a fag and is free to join those ranks… or the rank of womanhood.

    He’s not even pretty. Just creepy and delicate.

  2. Wow! They really need to

  3. Erica

    He looks like such a douche.

  4. roastbeef

    Eeeew, what a fag. His seriously needs a hair cut.

  5. Phildo

    This bitch is looking more and more like Jared Leto every day.

  6. sam90

    Did he used to be a male model, because he sure has all the poses down. He needs to add the looking at your watch pose to his repertoire. He is too pretty for that skanky girlfriend.

  7. NiceGuy

    Whats up with you guys? He ith tho cute, it makth me need to finger my puffy pink ath lipth and thtroke my thtifff wittle weenie!

  8. fergernauster

    Oh… and yeah… someone needs to tell him he has acne.

    Then watch him ache and fret in front of the nearest mirror.

  9. Sebastián

    Wait! I’m a fag. We don’t want him.

    A transvestite, maybe. I can see that.

  10. Gerald_Tarrant


    I was thinking he’s trying to be Jared Leto but even gayer.

    In other news, I would hit Vanessa faster and harder than BritBrit would hit the buffet table at a Cheetos party.

  11. Tinner

    He needs to come out of the closet, not butch up. Butching up is for dykes…

  12. Texas Tranny

    We don’t want him either.

    He’s no sissy, a fag maybe, but not a sissy. It takes a real man to to be a sissy.

  13. dfsg

    The new system picture is fine,
    when you are in the page, just click on the pictures on the right.

    I’m really surprised this vanessa and asshole-zac are still together. Take it easy peopl, it’s only a mather of time before the CRASH comes!! I’m absolutely sure this sucker was born with PUSSIE. You want to be a man? Go to jail and live there for about a year. I bet when you’re coming out again, YOU’RE GLAD TO BE A MAN!!
    I think the first few weeks you only want to fuck vanessa!!

  15. Sebastián

    TT: Amen!

    Now there you have it, he keeps claiming he’s straight ’cause no one else will take him. Poor thing.

  16. BaconMessiah

    You should see him when he gets his period…

  17. Sebastián

    He can try being a lesbian, he’s got the looks for it. If he was, they would be an adorable couple, and he could even be “the butch one”

  18. Roflcer of the Lawl

    Lets see how he likes a bucket of grease thrown on his face.

  19. shanipie

    How does she not get that her “man” is a Homo

  20. Spongebob Gangsta

    He doesn’t even look like he’s enjoying his time with his hot little piece.
    I’m live 45 minutes away from San Luis Obispo, where this guy is from, and let me tell you, they all look like him…ready to bust out in song with GAY.

  21. KIM

    He looks so great. Seems saw him before on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called

  22. RichPort

    Aaaaahhh… to be a beard at so tender an age…

  23. I think she’s white version of Tatiana Ali.

  24. KIM

    I revoke my last statement. I just feel like a total douche promoting a site in the comments section.
    My vagina itches. I think it might be from the guy I met at

  25. Sam Hain

    21 – you suck

  26. RichPort

    #23 – Mr Landers, your link continues to make me weep tears of joy. You’re a good man… a good, good man.

  27. lulu

    I don’t think he’s attractive at all. like she said, he looks like a pussy (and obviously is one).

  28. ManMan

    My penis is so confused looking at him.

  29. tired of scrolling

    what’s with the moving all the shit around? why don’t you just leave the articles in the same place?


  30. MindRiot

    What a dainty little flower.

  31. cowcat

    TT, Sebastian, Rich…y’all are too funny.

  32. John Travolta

    He needs…a man.


  33. Shallo Val

    Oh what I wouldn’t give for a high powered rifle, a grassy knoll and an open theater presentation of High School Musical.

  34. TomCruise

    Zack looks perfect. If Zack drops his pants and holds his ankles I’ll give him a real man lesson in poop packing. again and again and again and again…..

  35. Satanas

    he’s a disgusting contrived, eyebrow waxing, facial having, moisturizer and make-up wearing, blowjobs from boys getting, faegele if I ever saw one.

  36. RichPort

    Lee Harvey Shallo Val…

  37. Shallow Scowling Val

    36 – Yer darn tootin’.

  38. ur no RP

    If he’s struggling with his inner homo, one look at Vanessa’s pubic jungle should scare him right into the anus of another man. I mean, arms. Well, either one.

  39. LewdMan

    I think that the Zack is incapable of being a man! It’s one thing to be gay – but when you top that with just being a pussy – it’s a lost cause.

  40. D. Richards

    What a little-shit-faggot Zacharious is. Teenage girl’s are fucking retarded. You know it’s true. I wonder what Vanessa’s bear father thinks of Efron? I bet Vanessa-dad would fuck the shit out of the little tyke. Bear-man fucks child! Headline.

  41. Serial Cannibal

    Wait that chicks a dude? Ewww

    The look in his eyes really says “I’m going to stalk and eat you”

  42. Miss Anthrope

    @ 33:

    Fucking hilarious!

  43. veggi

    You know when you hear girls say ‘Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn’t have fucked that guy?’ Poor Zack is that girl..

  44. proteon

    That chick is a dude

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  46. Texas Tranny

    Fish, he’s not man enough to wear panties, diapers yes, panties no.

    It takes a real man to wear pretty panties.

  47. PunkA

    Yeah, veggi #43, and that guy is Tom Cruise. Except he wasn’t drunk, and had no regrets. In fact, he liked it so much, he went out and got a matching haircut.

  48. Jewel

    I really admire a chap who keeps himself clean. I’d adopt him anyday!

  49. woodhorse

    I grew a pair. They’re on my chest.

  50. Darnell

    Drop the ho, Zac. If she really loved you she wouldn’t ask you to change.. whatever it is that you are.

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