Posted by Photo Boy
It looks like Donald Sterling‘s lifetime ban from the NBA might end sooner than expected with the news that he’s battling prostate cancer. I’ll pause while everyone decides to react with “Well, that is terrible, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” instead of what really initially popped into all of our minds which was “Good.” Yes, lots of times shitty things happen to good people, cancer definitely being one of them, but this is not one of those times.
We don’t have to feel bad that something shitty happened to a shitty person. And if you think I’m just referring to his openly racist remarks, keep in mind this is the same man who refused repairs to a partially paralyzed tenant living in one of his squalid, poorly heated with no working toilet apartments only to reply “Is she one of those black people that stink?” when asked whether or not he’d authorize the repairs. (He didn’t.) So now that he knows what it feels like to be at the mercy of a malevolent force more powerful than himself, no, I don’t feel bad about saying fuck him.
Which brings me to Chris Brown. He’s been in jail for six weeks for basically acting like his probation (That he’s on for violently assaulting Rihanna) was a suggestion rather than a legal mandate, to the point where he bragged at a rehab facility about being “good at using guns and knives.” Again here, “Good.” Stay in jail and practice your knife skills with a shaved-down toothbrush, idiot. We’ve got plenty of violent creeps and egomaniacs and being short one who can moonwalk is no great tragedy.
So thanks, Chris and Don, for bearing the justifiable misery that only sometimes befalls the rich and powerful. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving couple of guys.