You’ll Need To Know These Three Things If You’d Like To Bang Brandi Glanville This Evening

February 20th, 2014 // 16 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Brandi Glanville may be a drunk, probably racist, stinky vagina rumor-spreading awful waste of human DNA, but when it comes to letting a stranger know the step-by-step process into her pants, she’s a straight-shooter. Via Radar Online:

She explained, “There are three rules for a booty call: One is you don’t kiss. Two is you never stay the night. And three is, you have to choose wisely, because if you pick someone you’re emotionally invested in it can reopen bad feelings.”

Just a few thoughts on this list:

Rule #1. This is every prostitute’s standard protocol.
Rule #2. Sleeping in a chemical toilet is neither comfortable nor hygenic.
Rule #3. Eddie Cibrian can’t get it up anymore unless you’re puking up Carl’s Jr.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News


  1. First, we have to hear about the latest worthless complaint from America’s foremost walking/talking toilet bowl; and now, we’re getting the dating habits of America’s sluttiest housewife, who may very well be a prostitute.

    Hey, Photo Boy… great job replacing Fish! Keep up the good work!

    And can we please get your thoughts on the “Fantastic Four” reboot casting? Really would appreciate it.

    • The general consensus on the internet seems to be one of these:

      1. Don’t care./Who are these kids?
      2. A black Human Torch?! White people are getting everything taken away from us! (the change is scary crowd)
      3. Dude played Wallace. Lifetime pass.

      I’m mostly 1 with a side of 3.

  2. 4. Take the tampon out first.

  3. Brandi Glanville Butt Drunk Panty Flash Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Well we’ve all been there, drunk and disorderly in public…but, having a drunk women hanging all over you is such an embarrassment, and a boner killer. I can only pray (for him) that she didn’t eat a whole Awesome Blossom at Chili’s before getting so shit faced drunk. I can hear the car ride home….”Pull over! Pull over!! *blah blaaaah spit*

  4. anonymous

    She forgot #4: Helps to already have a STI or you are going to be pissed a couple days later when you find out you have one now.

  5. Brandi Glanville Butt Drunk Panty Flash Upskirt
    Bob, from Bobland
    Commented on this photo:

    “Please don’t expose yourself like that, Miss Brandi! Frodo is the love of my life, the ring didn’t seduce me and you won’t either!”
    “Shut up and kiss me, Samwise!”

  6. She literally sounds like a prostitute.

  7. M-theory

    I have absolutely no idea who this is…

  8. #4. How to quickly obtain a prescription for Valtrex.

  9. there should be a “view small size” option for fugly skanks like this. I can smell the herpes wafting through my monitor.

  10. Onswipe sucks rancid butthole

    Please kill onswipe

  11. gigi

    what is she wearing?? did she leave her jeans in the car? ugh, rock bottom can’t come too soon :(

  12. Brandi Glanville Butt Drunk Panty Flash Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    ah, the one finger boob feel…this guy is old school smooth.

  13. Blandy Grannyville

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