Kevin Jonas looks thrilled

December 22nd, 2009 // 60 Comments

Honeymooners Kevin Jonas and Danielle Deleasa were spotted in Mexico yesterday, and for a guy who lost his virginity just a few days ago, he doesn’t seem too excited. I understand he saw things his dad warned him about. Things that only babies should come out of and you should never stare directly at “for ’tis the eye of Satan.” But that’s no reason to mope around and cry all day. Clearly it didn’t bite you like Nick said it would at your Gummi Bear Sundae bachelor party.

Photos: Splash News

  1. gen

    Wow. This guy is so hot… Especially the short swim trunks and mildly flabby belly. Yum.

  2. Ljute Fisk


  3. B

    They look bored… ALREADY?

  4. Deacon Jones

    Ive got nothing. Other than Spears in Pic 8

  5. shine

    why are his shorts so short?

  6. Sam

    He’s the geeky scared newlywed guy in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

  7. Captain Obvious

    His wedding night involved 8 seconds of sex followed by three hours of crying and begging Jeebus for forgiveness of his horrible sins.

  8. Kickin’ blue skorts with a taco on your arm while lusting for a fat white bread cougar in pic 8.
    Way to go dude….your a real wiener.

    FYI…his hero is Mr. Rogers.

  9. Fuck You

    He looks disappointed because her sweet sweet va-jay-jay didn’t feel as good to him as his brother’s ass did the last time he corn-holed him.

  10. Keith

    No wonder he’s bummed – he got married so he could have sex, found out how great sex is, and now realizes he can’t have sex with anyone else, ever.

    Rookie mistake. See you in divorce court in 2 years. Don’t let her get pregnant, or she’ll stretch it out to 10 years.

  11. Annie Loves Anal

    I don’t know about you, but I think the middle of the honeymoon is a bit early to start texting the boyfriend (whether its HERS or HIS). A good beard worth her salt would have waited until after the honeymoon, at the very least.

  12. mom

    Yep body language says it all. hehehe Rookie mistake!!!

  13. Captain Obvious

    Man, this site is lame lately. I could get more entertainment out of watching three retarded teenagers chase a puppy down the street.

    Actually, that does sound kind of fun.

    Anyway, where the fuck is the post about Sandra Bullock wanting to hire her stepdaughters birth mother to give her porn star blow job lessons?

    Bullock’s husband’s cock was in a porn star before it was in Sandra, so that means she’s a now a porn actress by proxy.

  14. He looks like him losing his virginity was the biggest mistake of his life..!

  15. havoc

    Did this guy always have an afro?

    Because its funny….


  16. Chupacabra

    My dad called. he wants his swim trunks from 1974 back. thank you.

  17. Donnie Brassballs

    She’s probably texting Tiger.

  18. Courtney

    The guy needs more big moles on the front of his neck.

  19. cookie

    when the fuck did he get married?

  20. libz

    Crying to Nick on the phone: “Ewww, it was all wet and squishy, and didn’t go in my bum bum hole AT ALL!!!”

  21. I heart weiners

    Pretty sure he is pissed because the paps are photographing him. Nah just kidding it is because he had to touch girly bits.

  22. Fester Bestertester

    Poor guy, somebody should have warned him he wouldn’t always get to be in front for doggy style.

  23. GTBurns

    “Nice Wedding, I look forward to the divorce”

    - Satan

  24. whatever

    20 something year old men should not look like this. no muscle tone, droopy shoulders, no chest, beer belly…at this rate she’ll be doing the pool boy in about 5 years.

  25. whatever

    20 something year old men should not look like this. no muscle tone, droopy shoulders, no chest, beer belly…at this rate she’ll be doing the pool boy in about 5 years.

  26. Tanya

    Dam! #6 stole my “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” comment. Because that is probably so true. I wondered if She asked for oral sex and he fainted. LOL

  27. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    I wonder if his other 2 brothers called him the morning after and asked what a va-jay-jay, looks, feels and tastes like? That’s the voicemail you want to hear on TMZ.

  28. SOS

    why are they married they’re only like 22 or something!
    Everyone thinks a wedding band “seals the deal” geeeeez..

  29. fsh

    Chupacabra and Donnie Brassballs, you both rock!

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  32. He is married at a really young age, did you notice the look on his face, its like weired.

  33. Evil

    He has the face of a fat guy

  34. stat!

    statistically one of the brothers is going to be gay…whoever the youngest is? thats the one.

  35. lauren

    LOL @ 16 and 17. Zing!!!

  36. Kate

    Pale? Check.
    Flabby? Check.
    JewFro? Check.
    Doughy Face? Check.

    if it wasn’t for the monster bank account, I’d wonder what the fuck this chick sees in Johah the Whale.

  37. dontlooknow

    THIS is what the teens and tweens are all excited over?? Man, we gotta start teaching our girls to have more self respect!!

  38. Boo you

    Man everyone has a negative comment on here!! Tis the Season to be nasty… How about he is a nice guy, who didn’t use a girl? Perhaps he has some kind of morals.. God forbid in this day in age.. Waiting to have sex is difficult. Especially in his line of work. That does not make him gay.

  39. kbotz

    yes it does. If i had that much money there would be no end to the line of prostitutes at my door. Hell with marrage, you pay for it either way and i actually hear its punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

  40. Marigold

    Maybe she wasn’t a virgin after all. Maybe he doesn’t like seafood.

  41. gigi

    the banner shot looks like they photoshopped the Jonas dude in….. is the chick black? [mix-y like Jennifer Beals, Rashida Jones or Derek Jeter-ish...] good for him! add a little exotic melanin to the odd pastiness!

  42. me

    looks like they’re both checking out the blonde in the last pic lol

  43. miserybunny

    Nobody thinks about her and the amount of lube he failed to use to pop her cherry.

    That’s why he ain’t smiling. Probably got the tip in and that was it. Back to the cold showers.

  44. JB

    In all the photos Ive seen of these two she is most often looking at anything else but him, she kinda looks like a rich bitch too.

  45. Pilatunes

    Geez, you pasty faced dweeb, at least do some push ups or something.

  46. UJ

    Nice Shorts Son!

  47. I like the post, and I agree somewhat with, To be very truthful.

  48. angie

    hey you look cute :D ok my name is angie i from colombie ok

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