You Don’t Masturbate To Your Porno, Farrah. Shut Up.

June 13th, 2013 // 43 Comments
Farrah Abraham
WATCH: Farrah Abraham Says A Bunch of Bullshit

Because her relevancy is dwindling, but not enough that she still isn’t a complete sideshow, here’s Farrah Abraham on Stern yesterday where she tried to fart these two little bullshit gems into his mouth: 1. That her 100%, without question porno is a private sex tape that was leaked. And 2. That she sits around masturbating to it. Fortunately, Howard brought on JD Harmeyer to tell Farrah directly to her face that she’s a liar which I masturbated to listened to closely while forming a mature, cohesive reaction that wasn’t a boner. I couldn’t be less aroused. Anymore. (Anyone else hungry?)

superficial

  1. JC

    JD didn’t go far enough. She’s not everything that’s wrong with pop culture–she’s everything that’s wrong with America, and possibly humanity itself.

    • Sandoucheky

      Watch/listen to the whole interview, he does go a little further – as far as JD can go when he’s telling a reality star they suck to their face (it didn’t go so well with The Situation, I remember)

    • How in the FUCK can this young woman be “EVERYTHING” that’s wrong with ANY-fucking-THING other than everything that is wrong with her own household? If I understand you correctly, killing Farrah off would fix the economy, the war, healthcare issues, racism…And if you think she is what’s wrong with humanity, then you probably just need to do yourself a favor and take the pipe.

  2. Jazzy Jeff

    She looks like a tranny.

  3. Masturbating to your own s̶e̶x̶ ̶v̶i̶d̶e̶o̶ porno may not be textbook narcissism, but only because the people who wrote the textbook weren’t this depraved.

  4. I didn’t fast forward through her porno to now listen to her talk with her clothes on.

  5. Fuck me what a twat! So you get paid > $1.2 million and claim it was a very ,very private tape?
    Not for $10 million would I record myself jerking off and then say I also jerked off to that tape. Yes I do masturbate.
    Pee Wee Herman? Zero career.

  6. Cock Dr

    I’m sure watching a tape of a man who was paid to fuck you fuck you is such a turn on.
    This is one sad and stupid woman. What a shame there’s a small girl child still in her theoretical custody.

  7. Hugh Jass

    Bababooey!!!!!!!!

  8. How fucking narcissistic can you be? Masturbating to your own sex tape? This chick is way too in love with herself. Obviously too in love with herself to be a good parent. I weep for that poor kid.

  9. God I hate this fucking lying bitch. I wish that JD guy punched her in the face although he would have broken his nose on her huge beak.

    $1.2 million, what a piece of shit liar, $50,000 max and that is being generous. Just a pathological liar.

    • Dr. JFever

      Think you are exactly right on the pay for this porno. What ever anyone thinks of Vivid they are a successful business. They know the market and the cost of ‘product’. So no way this moron was paid much more than mid five figures. Half up front & half at the back end [no pun intended].

  10. I knew quite a sorority sisters in college just like this girl….Dumb, narcissistic, and slutty.

    I used to entertain myself at parties. I would say the stupidest shit possible and see if they would still sleep with me. It became a weekly competition with my roommates.

    “Did you know….that when you flush the toilet it goes straight to Mexico because they cant afford clean water? No, seriously”

    Shit like that. They’d believe everything if you said it serious enough.

    3 hours later Im forcing their head and down with my hand. I would then ask them to leave because “this bed is only a double and we cant both sleep in it tonight”. I would try to squeeze out a fart before they left the room as icing on the cake.

  11. the Howard Stern Show has sucked ever since I left.

    that being said, this trollop needs a smack to the head with a cinder block. fucking dumb WHORE. JD calling her out was great, but I would have done much, MUCH worse given the chance.

    AAAHUUUUAAAHHHEEEEEEE HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW

  12. Grand Dragon

    i came

  13. Call me crazy, but I would fuck the fuck out of this fucking dumb fuck.

  14. Losing custody of the kid in 3. . . 2. . .

  15. If there’s an award for biggest gaping asshole and ugliest vagina at the AVN Awards she’s the sure winner.

  16. D.

    If there was a video of me getting fucked by James Deen, I could definitely masturbate to that.

    The whole interview was actually better than I thought it would be. Howard was hilarious and kept bringing up specific scenes in her porno, Farrah was actually somewhat coherent and most of her sentences made sense, grammatically.

    I don’t think she’s a bad person. She’s just a idiot who still has a lot of growing up to do.

  17. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Of course she’s full of shit: she’s having it regularly pushed in.

  18. Once her daughter is old enough and bright enough to use the phone,she´ll phone the social services and demand to be removed from her home.

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