You Can’t Polish an Ewok Turd and Other News

September 28th, 2010 // 82 Comments

- Lindsay Lohan finally got around to entering rehab. [Popeater]

- Meg Ryan wants to steal Christmas. [Dlisted]

- Don Draper thinks Angry Birds is pathetic. [Lainey Gossip]

- Blake Lively has looked better. I’m man enough to admit that/ignore my erection. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Victoria Justice’s “Got Milk?” campaign can’t be legal. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Taylor Swift is a pirate. [Popoholic]

- Bristol Palin apparently follows The Kate Gosselin Method of Parenting. [IDLYITW]

- Khloe Kardashian used to be uglier. Impossible, I know. [BuzzFeed]

- Rachel Bilson dropped something. [Celebslam]

- Bishop Eddie Long’s accusers can still smell his “curl cologne.” (Read: It was Jesusy.) [Bossip]

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Photos: Splash News

The Superficial is in Vacation Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Monday, Oct. 4.

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  1. This just looks wrong on SO many levels..I just dont even fucking know where to begin…

  2. Lindsay

    ugh she gained a TON.

  3. GravyLeg

    Well, she showed me…
    Apparently you can be portly and FUG and still get paid….
    God bless America…

  4. Max Hardcore

    Ive fucked a lot of weird ones, but Id pass on her.

  5. Dude

    What does Poland have to do with anything???

  6. McFeely Smackup

    why is she always doing that lip pursing thing? does she not know it makes her look retarded?

  7. Man…Fish I hate you. You’re like “Yeah, I’m going on vacation! See you later HAHA JUST KIDDING LOOK AT SNOOKIE! SUFFER!!!”

    Jerk.

  8. Any Guy

    she’s totally ruined any future viewings of The Wizard of Oz for me.

  9. jay

    This fat ass cunt needs a swift kick in the cunt. Fucking cunt whore is such a nasty mixed lump of adipose and fecal matter. She just made me throw up in my mouth. Fucking fat cunt.

  10. Slab

    If it’s cunt bleeds we can kill it

  11. You know what R stand for

    Isn’t Bristol a born again virgin, why is that dancing dude getting so close? Damn, she’s thick too bad a small portion of it went to her face. Also if she changes that moose fabric that concealed her large naturals I would consider tuning onto the show and take a peek.

    • Bow Down Assholes

      Mama Grizzly isn’t worried. The closest Bristol and the dancing dude got was that sleepover at Bristol’s in Wasilla, where they painted each others nails and giggled like little Japanese school girls. Too bad Todd nailed dancing dude in the ass. Ruined the whole evening.

  12. oh no

    Question for the Superficial staff…is it in the contract that at least one pic per day must be posted of this hideous mildly retarded midget whore???

  13. bill

    I honestly would like to know who the fuck pays any attention to this sloth? Why is she everywhere? Certainly can’t be because of that ridiculous show she shares with the other wiggers. That thing is a train wreck.

  14. Justin

    Dan Devito in drag

  15. BigDaddy

    Its the CHUPACRABA. I see one befor in Mexico,and that is a picture of it for sure.

  16. Snooki
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hosting a party at the Hamptons. And getting paid handsome coin to do so.
    Satan’s lil orange helper hoists up her ta-tas for another hard night of partying.

  17. Snooki
    burton
    Commented on this photo:

    SHORT AND FAT…YUCK.

  18. Snooki
    Click This....
    Commented on this photo:

    FAT!

    • the sass

      hey btw….ur chunky, n this dress shows how chunky u r times 700! ps. ur not even pretty to begin with either

  19. Snooki
    joe schmoe
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki, NO! …I thought your were DONE with the scrunched up mouth, kiss-blowing look??!!???!

  20. Snooki
    Tracy J
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it a vacation from SpHeidi too? I’m lovin it!

  21. Whoa to the pic 8 id hit that! Shed have to gimme head awhile tho i got a cpl in me right now

    Lol jk not this time toots

  22. Snooki
    chynasclit
    Commented on this photo:

    jonathan cheban is such a loser.. now hes attaching himself to snooki..o man hes embarassing..him and his filthy drag queen trashdashians.

  23. Snooki
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s starting to morph into Kim Kardashian

  24. IlikeTacos

    She is so fat! I bet her dirt star looks more like a dirt pudding pop!

  25. Snooki
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    barfed in my mouth again

  26. slapkatyperry

    don’t try to church it up, you know at the end of the day that all you are is a cum dumpster

  27. Snooki
    Bow Down Assholes
    Commented on this photo:

    Could someone please get in touch with this barrel of spunk and tell her that if she wants to continue on the celebrity path to LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT! She must have not gotten the memo.

    Thank you.

  28. Tuffy Magee

    Duck Face!

  29. Obvious

    its always the completely ugly bitches that think their hot. Megan Fox believes she is unattractive. Go figure.

    • less obvious

      You are a moron. You really think Megan Fox says she’s a tranny and a man and painfully insecure about her looks because she means it? She think she is the hottest thing on the planet. “I’m so insecure but I’ll still pose for photos with my tongue coming out of my mouth and with my finger in my mouth and and my mouth open and my tongue picking shit out of my teeth and my lips all pumped up” Yeah…… right.

  30. Snooki
    what the buck
    Commented on this photo:

    how can someone with so much money look so awful

  31. Obvious

    oh and eff u Fish for dumping this ugly bitch on us then going on vacation. I know somewhere you are laughing about this.

  32. Slab

    Flush it

  33. captain america

    nor a pile of h*rse sh*t & an diamond bracelet.

    on the other hand: SHE IS JUST FUNNY, folks!!
    that’s all.

  34. Taylor swift taking fashion advice from seinfeld now? And wth i thot victoria justice was like 20. That jamie lynn threw me off with the whole milf thing

  35. juck

    This fat cunt is the antichrist. Whats with the duckface? She is the epitomy of a nasty fat whore thinking she is hot. Women are so fucking delusional at times.

  36. wow

    She is so ugly. Amazing anyone would watch a bunch of ugly whores parade around.

    Perfect comment though. Ewok Turd that fits her perfectly.

  37. OneAdamTwelve

    I’d bend her over and ram my tongue up her ass. She’s hot.

  38. Lamb

    Ugh that color lipstick doesn’t look good on anyone! If you’re that dark of a skin tone, why make your lips chalky, pale pink!?!? I see it everyday and its always nasty looking

  39. Snooki
    steve n
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are hollywood producers so hooked up on these marginal sluts that have blown their brothers or done a menage a however many with them over a keg of beer. This trick can’t help her lips look like Britney Spears cooter, but damn! Can’t they find a cute girl to follow?
    All this is doing is making my trips to Target suck because there are more and more marginal fat chicks or ugly skinny girls mincing around there in skank outfits acting all snooty like they are hot s&*t and they’re not. One asset does not a star make

  40. Mickey

    editors,
    PLEASE stop covering this person. PLEASE STOP uploading photos of “her”. PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!! I beg of you, please stop!
    thank you,
    humanity

  41. Snooki
    Alastair
    Commented on this photo:

    Just… LOL

  42. banquo

    I really wish Deep Roy would get over his cross dressing phase and get back to making movies.

  43. Snooki
    Rush
    Commented on this photo:

    damn! you thicky thicky thick, gurrrrrl.

  44. Snooki
    gack69
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks just like this bitchy little twat I went to high school with back in the 80′s. Gawd, how I hated that girl.

  45. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    YEAAA cake it on!!

  46. Snooki
    Real Deal
    Commented on this photo:

    proof that lipstick on a pig is still just a pig.
    In this case, more like lipstick on a pig that just rolled in shit.

  47. Snooki
    Pffft
    Commented on this photo:

    God damn guido Hee-Haw going on here! WHY is this bitch famous?? Isn’t there some sort of stylist to tell her to quit wearing frosted pink lipstick? It’s like Kiss My Lips most famous color in 1984. It won’t make a come-back ya skank!

  48. Snooki
    Pffft
    Commented on this photo:

    My GOD, it looks like a bleached asshole. STOP IT

  49. Snooki
    Pffft
    Commented on this photo:

    Things Snooki says at least 10 times a day, “No, I’m NOT pregnant.”

  50. NeNe

    I almost peed in my pants when I read the headline of this. Oh, how true it is.

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