Yanni beats up his girlfriend

March 7th, 2006 // 42 Comments

yanni-mugshot.jpgPolice arrested New Age composer Yanni from his Florida home yesterday on domestic battery charges, after his girlfriend phoned 911 from a locked bathroom.

And while he denies the charges (even if his publicist secretly wishes them true to gain credibility in the 18-34 demographic), it’s hard to look at the mugshot and not picture a crazy Yanni, using an ax to break down the bathroom door while shouting “Come out and take your medicine!” before peeking his long-haired head in and exclaiming “Heeere’s Yanni!”

Except, you know, in a sexy Greek accent.



  1. Violet

    Yanni is so creepy. *shudder*

  2. splinter9

    That’s Dennis Miller’s hair on Billy Bob Thornton’s head.

  3. CheekyChops

    I guess he’s not shagging Linda “I was on Dynasty” Evans anymore. Unless she’s become so much of a non-celebrity that she’s just known as “Yanni’s girlfriend” now.

  4. femmefatale01

    Yeah right. He’d probably break down the door, stick his clarinet in and start playing it to his terrified girlfriend which would cause her to throw herself out the window…oh wait, that’s Kenny G…well they both suck.

  5. bjpack

    He’s going to find out that this whole thing was a waste of his time when they still refuse to make a Behind the Music for him.

  6. Grphdesi23

    Do not f-u-c-k with Yanni!

  7. LoneWolf

    In related stories, John Tesh has OD’d and Kenny G has a sex tape coming out. Now all those elevator-music-Mozarts need is some gold teeth and whips rollin on twenny-fo’s and they’ll have *real* street cred.

    Yanni is Greek, eh? His g/f was probably trying to call emergency for a prolapsed rectum.

  8. Thee Wood Nymph

    Do you remember when he used to be hot in an ethnic “whose-your-daddy” sort of way? That dark beard – those flowing locks? No?

  9. Yanni’s just going to the street for his inspiration. After seeing “It’s Hard Out There For A Pimp” win an Oscar for Best Original Song in a Motion Picture, he made the conscious decision to get in touch with his gangsta side in order to fashion a fusion of hardcore hip-hop with new age wonder. Some of his new tracks are “Pimps and Unicorns”, “Even Avalon Has a Ghetto”, and “Linda Evans Gave Up the Backdoor for Crack.” Insiders speculate it will capture those Enya/DMX fans everywhere.


    He does look a lil,, hmmmmm Tom Cruise’ish in this photo.. yikes

  11. SuperSpence

    My dead grandmother could kick Yanni’s ass.

  12. MystressJade

    He was extremely hot when he did that Acropolis concert years ago…..he looks like a child molester now.

    I raise my rum and coke to posts #7 & #9…prolapsed rectum, yuk…lol

  13. Kimmie

    I don’t know who Yanni is but he is creepy looking to me.

  14. greekdiva

    Who the fuck is this :S
    He looks like a sort of pedophile anyways…

  15. He’s the ex-boyfriend of Krystle Carrington from Dynasty.

  16. Zegna

    “Heeere’s Yanni!”


  17. Pez_D_Spencer

    If Francis Dolarhyde (Tom Noonan) hadn’t gotten blown away at the end of Manhunter, I think the booking photo would look a lot like that.

  18. Evangelia

    ha ha. don’t fuck with the greeks, malaka.

  19. prideofchucky

    I guess missed that episode of COPS….

  20. No_Angel

    The captions says “Yanni” and my head says “Dennis Miller”.

    I don’t know which one is worse!

    Any ideas?

  21. honey

    what is the world coming to??
    next thing we know, zamfir will be slingin ass on the street to pay for his new pan flute.

  22. ishtar

    doesnt his mug look a bit like The Fonz??

  23. I am guessing that “Yanni’s girlfriend” put on a copy of “Live at the Acropolis” and he just wigged out and beat the snot out of her. I’ve reached this conclusion because my mother just loves Yanni, and my dad used to beat the hell out of her.

    Wait,… that wasn’t funny at all.

    I better call my therapist now.

  24. missscoobie

    what a tool!

  25. Craig & "em"

    Wow! I never thought that this day would come. I guess what I mean is…I thought the headline would read “Yanni’s Girlfriend Beats Him Up with a Flute or Whatever Instrument He Plays”.

  26. LaydeeBug

    Sagapo Baby! Ahhh those sexy wife-beating Mediterraneans. Matakia moo. Linda Evans is his girlfriend. So Crystal Carrington got her ass whupped, huh? As Jerry Seinfeld would say “….mmm…thats-a-shame.”

  27. greekdiva

    Lmao #18 :P
    Damn right

  28. Evangelia

    i love you too laydee.
    you were talking to me, right?
    or i’ll beat you up, yanni-style.

  29. hafaball

    Ah one of the great reasons to put a phone in the bathroom, to lock yourself away from someone who is potentially trying to harm you. Isn’t technology great!?

  30. msassassin

    “Except, you know, in a sexy Greek accent”

    Erm NO. A Greek accent might sounds sexy at three in the morning while you are waiting for a souvlaki…

  31. Bellisima

    How do you say “trailer trash” in Greek? I not wannamakeafucka wit you.

  32. Pez_D_Spencer

    Also a bit of Al Pacino from “Heat” in that pic. Although, Yanni probably is less of an over-actor than Al.

    WTF ever happened to the Pacino who could play understated roles?

  33. mamacita

    Why didn’t he just listen to some of his own new-agey-I’ll-help-you-relax-in-a-bubble-bath- music and then he wouldn’t have been enraged enough to beat his girlfriend’s ass. I think his music is one of the reasons that there is so much violence in the workplace. Well, that and the hormones that they inject in chicken.

  34. sikofdis

    He redefines sucking on an hourly basis…this made my week! Now, I can only hope that terms of the inevitable restraining order will be for this talentless piece of turd to stay more than 500 feet away from every recording studio on the planet.

  35. Hahaha he has the face that should be on the back of a milk carton. “Stay away from this guy”.

  36. HollyJ

    He snapped because he hadn’t had feta or phyllo for two consecutive meals.

    Yanni, malakos menos, it’s supposed to be Ioannis.

  37. Isn’t dating Yanni equivilent to being beat up psychologically?

  38. sexydarin

    Smack ma bitch yo yanni smack ma bitch yo

  39. Dee

    he looks better now than he ever did…i thought he looked creepier before.

  40. why don’t he beats his ass!!! f***er

  41. Kiki

    2008-hmm,ugly and mean comments,big shame!The end of the world is coming!He he

  42. Hamdan

    This is what Yanni reportedly said regarding the event. “I want everyone to know that I am completely innocent of any allegations made with respect to the events at my home on the night of March 2. These allegations are cruel, false, without merit and baseless,” Yanni said in a statement released Monday to the Associated Press by his personal manager Danny O’Donovan. “At a more appropriate time and place, I hope and pray I will have an opportunity to address my fans and colleagues all over the world.”

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