Paris Hilton’s new boyfriend meets the parents (Ha! Like the movie!)

November 29th, 2007 // 116 Comments
1129_paris_hilton_folks_00.jpg

Paris Hilton took her new Swedish model boyfriend Alexander von Zweigbergk Vaggo to meet her parents for dinner at Madeos in Beverly Hills. Paris’ parents Rick and Kathy were celebrating their 28th anniversary together. The highlight of the evening will be when Rick leans over to Alex and whispers, “There are two condoms in my hand. I want you to wear them both at the same time. Don’t ask any questions. You seem like good people.” Alex will then ask “Is this to, how you say, not make baby?” Rick will smile and say, “Don’t worry, Kathy and I took care of that when she was 16. Thank you, Mexican free clinic. Ha ha, good times. No, seriously, the rubbers are to protect your ding-dong, son. Jesus, don’t you read the papers?”

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Comments (116)

  1. bob | November 29, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    first

    Reply
  2. bob | November 29, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    first

    Reply
  3. supes | November 29, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    Meh, i got nothin.

    Reply
  4. supes | November 29, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    Now I got somethin. Bob, you’re a fucking loser.

    Reply
  5. Robin Claire | November 29, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    lol@his name. *snicker*

    Reply
  6. babyglyniss | November 29, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    paris’s new flame is no where to hot.

    Reply
  7. whoneedsenemies | November 29, 2007 at 6:39 pm

    Wonk’s gonna give him Herpes down wind… I wouldn’t stand next to her either.

    Reply
  8. PatinNJ | November 29, 2007 at 6:44 pm

    How can any guy stick it in that? Come on, nobody’s that horny.

    Those stupid parents are the source of the problem. These gilrs should have had the finest schooling and upbringing but instead they were in bars at age 16 dancing on tables with no underwear on.

    Reply
  9. Ted from LA | November 29, 2007 at 6:48 pm

    #8,
    You got a problem with that? Me too. This country is going to hell. Mitt Romney is the answer… If the question is, “Who is an arrogant asshole who likes to showcase his happy family in an effort to get elected president?”

    Reply
  10. Lysette | November 29, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    What the hell is she wearing????

    And her hair … time for a trim, Paris. blech.

    Reply
  11. Jimbo | November 29, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    Ted, You must live on the West side

    Reply
  12. Ript1&0 | November 29, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    Haaaaaaa…. Now that was funny commentary. Thank fucking God, man. I need something to laugh at. I can imagine this situation happening in reality as well.

    But with three condoms. At least three.

    Reply
  13. isitin | November 29, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    Very nice, she makes him walk 3 feet behind her.

    Reply
  14. Kathleen | November 29, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    Her boyfriend is ugly and boring.

    Reply
  15. Spongebob Gangsta | November 29, 2007 at 7:09 pm

    Lewis & Clark ain’t got snot on this guys wang…brave little tiny microscopic fellow we got here.

    Reply
  16. lils | November 29, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    “Vaggo”… HAHA! How fitting although Paris’s “vaggo” is famous enough already.

    Reply
  17. snowcone | November 29, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    this fairey makes david bowie look like hulk hogan.

    Reply
  18. Ted from LA | November 29, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Hulk Hogan’s wife make Hulk Hogan look like Pee Wee Herman.

    Reply
  19. Rob Bagdasarian | November 29, 2007 at 7:21 pm

    She has a boyfriend? They met on HerpesMatch.com? Oh my heart is broken. Well, at least my penis is saved. Damn Superfish for posting the “Alice in Wonderland” Halloween pics that made me all lusty in the pantalones!!

    Time to go back to my obsession over Hayden Panetierre and pre-herpes Lohan.

    Reply
  20. jm | November 29, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    Her legs look a guy’s, dressing in drag for Halloween.

    #18 Rob, heard she gave Adrien Grenier head in the grotto of Hugh Hefner’s mansion dressed as Alice. Word.

    Reply
  21. TheLostGirl | November 29, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    She only just met the guy, what the hell?

    Reply
  22. TheLostGirl | November 29, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    She only just met the guy, what the hell?

    Reply
  23. TheLostGirl | November 29, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    She only just met the guy, what the hell?

    Reply
  24. TheLostGirl | November 29, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    She only just met the guy, what the hell?

    Reply
  25. Auntie Kryst | November 29, 2007 at 8:15 pm

    I bet those two stand in front of a mirror together and practice sucking in their cheeks.

    Reply
  26. Holycrap | November 29, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    Funny write up for a change!! Hey it’s quite amusing that his name is somewhat similar to vagina.

    Reply
  27. Binky | November 29, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    Well… a Swedish male model Paris…ok. A lot less greasy than the usual greasy Euro-types.
    A Swedish male model….who doesn’t need to shave often….
    and doesn’t know who Anders Hedberg is…
    Well this relationship should cut down on the XXX vids – not that there’s anything wrong…etc…

    Reply
  28. 23apples | November 29, 2007 at 8:19 pm

    She looks bored in those first 4 pictures and the guy is 5 feet behind her in all of them. She doesn’t seem to like him very much.

    Reply
  29. Princess | November 29, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    I love Paris, but her hair looks awful!!

    Reply
  30. g.o.d. | November 29, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    How can you tell they’re even together??? He is lagging behind her, not even looking at her…I mean, at least hold her hand or something…

    Reply
  31. g.o.d. | November 29, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    And how does Paris score models and some other good-looking men?

    Reply
  32. pumpheranddumpher | November 29, 2007 at 8:48 pm

    I hope this dude pulls a Federline. From Zero to Hero in just a snizz load.

    Reply
  33. yukadoozer | November 29, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    She shows up with a hole on her stocking, knarly nails and a man that looks like a cocker spaniel-loser daughter.

    Reply
  34. svenska | November 29, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    MMM Swedish men are SO SEXYYYY!! Especially their models, hot DAMN gotta love those scandinavians..

    Reply
  35. zz | November 29, 2007 at 9:44 pm

    I’m glad she always remains a few steps ahead of him. That doesn’t make it look like she’s totting him around for show or anything……

    Reply
  36. Hecubus | November 29, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    “.I mean, at least hold her hand or something” Jesus Christ g.o.d what did this poor bastard ever do to you ? You know damn well if he holds her hand for longer than five seconds he’ll wind up having to cut it off and replace it with a chainsaw.

    Reply
  37. Phy | November 29, 2007 at 10:22 pm

    Rick Hilton sounded like Red Foreman when I read that.

    Reply
  38. eXtasyStef | November 29, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    She makes him walk behind her because he’s prettier than she is…and more feminine.

    Reply
  39. zz | November 29, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    I went back and re-read Rick’s part, #36

    You’re right!! Haha. I love Red Foreman.

    Reply
  40. Punk Rocker | November 29, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    Wait… Has anyone noticed, her face is a little rounder than normal… And she seems very into baby doll dresses lately? That is noramlly a sign of a baby on the way! Oh god! Please say it isn;t so!

    Reply
  41. cookie monsta | November 29, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    c’mon people, he’s only the damn sperm donor in the equation. Meet the parents? Of course, they will want to approve of his genes, and see him complete before he impregnates her and vanishes in a explosion of fetid hilton ejaculate….. what hope has she got, she will have a melt down trying to SAY his name, let alone spell it, she just calls him ‘baby daddy’ and ‘donor’. (doner?)

    Reply
  42. Ted from LA | November 29, 2007 at 11:02 pm

    #20,
    #21, #22, and #23 are redundant.

    re·dun·dant /r?’d?nd?nt/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-duhn-duhnt] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
    -adjective 1. characterized by verbosity or unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas; prolix: a redundant style.
    2. being in excess; exceeding what is usual or natural: a redundant part.
    3. having some unusual or extra part or feature.

    Have a good night!
    Have a good night!
    Have a really good night all of you!

    Reply
  43. hausfrau | November 29, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    HA! He looks totally embarrassed to be with her.
    At least one of them has some shame.

    Reply
  44. El-Coyote | November 29, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    Word Fish… Word….

    Reply
  45. gerard Vandenberg | November 29, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    There we have our little disseas-girl!!
    You’re seeing LIFE as one big fun-fair. With alot of things it’s quite allright but you simply can’t think and act mature and seriously. You really don’t know a FUCK what is happening in the world today. You are the whole FUCKING day surrounded by YES-MEN and by smiling HAAAAAI-assholes!!
    That is the main reason you can’t take misery, we could all witness it in your Television-appearence with david letterman. Although this was nothing compared to the reallife-situations. But you were almost a CRY-BABY!! Another action we could all see was the back to jail-incident. Crying and screaming for mum!!
    WE ALL WAIT FOR THE CRASH TO COME!!

    Reply
  46. bob | November 30, 2007 at 12:13 am

    There is a new site called http://www.synchronicitylive.com that you should check out. They stream music related events live on their site and if you have a band, you can play live on there. They stream in over 100 countries and all 50 states

    Reply
  47. Geckobi | November 30, 2007 at 12:50 am

    So this is the poor chap that’s going to provide a semen donation for Paris’ baby? Hahaha.

    Reply
  48. FRT | November 30, 2007 at 12:54 am

    Aw geez…look at the pretty boy from Sweden with the mile long name no one can prounounce…what ever happened to bringing home a good American kid with a name like Bob Smith!

    This Vaggo guy looks more like Mr. Faggo!

    Check out Mrs. Hilton…looks like she’s missing a brain!

    Reply
  49. Moi | November 30, 2007 at 1:37 am

    Considering how pretty and rich this slut is, her men are
    BUTT- FIGGITY OOGLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not jealous AT ALL!! I would like to travel the world for free like her though and not have to stay at some fukken youth hostel… wait why am I saying all this crap

    Reply
  50. tg | November 30, 2007 at 1:47 am

    I’ve never seen a picture of Paris in which she wasn’t absolutely beautiful.

    At any time, under any circumstances, from any angle, she is stunningly photogenic.

    Reply

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