NEWSFLASH: Winona Ryder still loves her some shoplifting. This report from a week ago slipped under the radar of most outlets. But fortunately I found out, and, shit, I’ll report anything. Right, Chocolate Rain Kid? Anyway, here’s the scoop as reported on Janet Charlton’s Hollywood. Love your chews, baby! [Editor's Note. It's actually Charleston Chews. Not Charlton. Way to be, Janet.]:
Security stopped the shopper, who turned out to be none other than Winona Ryder! She showed the guard her receipt and he proceeded to check her bag. There were a couple of makeup items that were not paid for. Wide-eyed Winona said “I don’t know how that happened” and she quickly paid for the makeup before braving the exit once again.
Remind me to make sure the china cabinet is locked the next time Winona Ryder stops over. I don’t need her stealing my Darth Vader collectable plates. In the meantime, I have no idea who any of these other people are in these pictures. But I’m sure they went home missing a wallet, watch, jewelry and gold fillings. Seriously, she’s that good – except in retail stores. Apparently sensor tags confuse and baffle the Winona.
Thanks to Bonnie for the tip. You stole my heart and, also, my social security number. I’m gonna need that back.