Wilmer Valderrama

20040802_fez.jpgHow is it that Wilmer Valderrama keeps landing such big name girlfriends? Not that Lindsay Lohan is anywhere near the top of my list (unless you’re talking about my whore list), but Mandy Moore certainly was an impressive and shocking catch. The idea that Fez from That 70’s Show could have done the horizontal Salsa with Mandy Moore should give strange foreign men everywhere the hope that it really is possible for them to one day get with an amazingly gorgeous woman that’s completely out of their league. Seriously though, Wilmer (what kind of name is Wilmer?) is like the Scott Baio of the modern age, using his questionable nationality to bag as many white women as possible. Looking back though, I’m sure Wilmer realizes that Mandy Moore was the highlight of his life, and that he will never again be with somebody so gorgeous. Ever. The step down from Mandy Moore to Lindsay Lohan is so great that most men would break their necks to even attempt it.

His Conquests Thus Far

Mandy Moore

Lindsay Lohan