Will.I.am bitchslaps Perez Hilton. With words.

The Superficial / June 22, 2009

Perez Hilton was allegedly assaulted last night while partying after the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto. He claims Will.I.am of the Black Eyed Peas was the one who hit him, and instead of calling the police, Perez started tweeting about it. Scope out Perez’s tweets via TMZ which essentially ruin whatever legitimacy Twitter gained from the Iranian elections:

– I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
— I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke. — about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
— Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel. — about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
— I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here. — about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
— The Toronto police are here now. Thank you. Please stop calling them. — about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
— Thank u all from the bottom of my heart for ur concern. The police are investigating the assault now. I did the right thing by reporting it. — about 3 hours ago from web

Will.I.am posted a video last night asserting his innocence, (Turns out it was the Black Eyed Peas manager Polo Molina who “attacked” Perez.) and took the immediate piss out of Perez by asking, why someone would Twitter instead of call the police if they were attacked? Allow me: Because Perez Hilton is nothing more than the same brand of media-obsessed celebutard he so vehemently draws semen on which proves he never really was a scathing observer of pop culture. Just a guy who wants to be Britney.

I went there.