Don’t Try To Kiss Will Smith On The Mouth

May 21st, 2012 // 28 Comments
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On the off-chance you were nowhere near a computer this weekend, right after we farted out for the day on Friday, which is probably the most professional way to describe our workflow, Will Smith apparently “slapped” a reporter in Moscow after the dude tried to kiss him on the mouth during the red carpet premiere of Men in Black 3. Except it turns out this guy’s whole schtick is to uncomfortably surprise-French celebrities, so Will Smith acted like anyone else would’ve in the same situation and, honestly, stayed pretty composed given the circumstances. Unfortunately, that’s not a sexy story, so let’s just say he killed the guy. Just straight fucking murdered him then quipped, “Gay marry that, bitch” before spitting on his corpse. I saw the whole thing.

Photo: Getty


  1. dude

    i’m just glad it wasn’t peter north interviewing will smith.

    Well it turns out that smoking was not the
    cause of my throat cancer. When Axis gets back
    from skiing.he is going to get a HPV vaccine
    kirin already has it, This is very real stuff.
    The doctor told that it is easier to treat
    than smoking induced cancer.

    • Deacon Jones

      What are you trying to say here Dude? You have throat cancer?

      And who is axis and kirin??

      • what

        I think he means that he got throat cancer not from smoking but from sucking on some guy’s peen that was infected with HPV? probably Axis or Kirin

  2. Why won’t the “jquery is not a function” error go away? And why won’t this video play? WHAT’S GOING ON AROUND HERE!!!!!!!!?!?!


  3. Deacon Jones

    Well i was in Bermuda getting hammered on electric blue beaches all past week, so this is news to me.

  4. AteIsEnough

    Will handled that better than I would have!!

  5. The Evil Twin

    I thought it was an over-excited girl he slapped. All is forgiven. I bet 5 minutes later this guy was on the no admittance list for every red carpet event.

  6. ComedySilliness

    That’s what happens when you employ Octomom as your publicist

  7. humorless chode


  8. Inmate 12236969

    I’d have kicked the dick sucker in his nuts.

  9. yeahhu

    that was the girlies slap ever and you could see Will was all shook up afterwards lol

  10. Tommy Gunn

    His loyalty to Tom Cruise is unwavering.

  11. AfisFis

    Oh come on Will! You’ve been in so many action movies, yet you decide to react to an unwanted kiss from another strange man by slapping them (half-assedly)? You have chosen poorly.

  12. whatsmynameagain

    I don’t know shit about shit. Diablo 3 came out.

  13. CardinalFang

    When did Rihanna cut her hair?

  14. sobrietyisacrutch

    In Soviet Russia, is French-kiss of death.

  15. Frank Burns

    Maybe the guy was just publicly auditioning for the porn version of the film, “Men in Black Men 3sum”.

  16. d.berry

    Dudes kiss dudes all the time in Russia, it’s how they say hello. Will Smith is a fucking movie star (for some inexplicable reason) and has traveled extensively to promote his shitty PG-13 movies. He should know by now that it is not an affront. If you look at the video, that guy is not trying to slip him the tongue. He reacted like a straight up douchebag (emphasis on the douchebag not the ‘straight’). You can tell by the expressions of his handlers that it was a totally uncalled for response. And those of you saying that it was a justifiable response, isn’t that closet you are in getting a little cramped?

    • Smapdi

      So if you don’t like gays, you are gay, and if you do like gays, you are gay. So far as a closet goes, you should climb into one and stay there for your own safety, as you are a weak-minded fool.

  17. Ayo

    that wasnt a weak slap it was a bitch slap meant to humillate, i could of put him to sleep had he wanted to

  18. guy

    More likely he had a lapse back to shooting some b-ball outside of school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in his neighborhood.

  19. anonym

    d.berry said:
    “Dudes kiss dudes all the time in Russia, it’s how they say hello.”

    fuck no. Only if they are family or very close friends.
    They don’t kiss perfect strangers, like this one.
    This bitch deserved to be slapped. He grabbed his neck and pulled in closer.

  20. Crissy

    Seriously, that dude was way to persistent about trying to land a kiss on his mouth, so he DESERVES the bitch slap.

    Will, was like (In the voice of Dave Chappelle Impersonating Rick James) “What the five finger said to the face?, SMACK!!!, heh, heh, heh!!!”

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