Why the Hell Were These People at The Kids’ Choice Awards?

Because there is nothing more dark and edgy than Nickelodeon, Taylor Momsen showed up at the Kids’ Choice Awards Saturday night just to make sure everyone knows how little she gives a shit about it or however emo logic works. X = Sulk a lot? I have no fucking clue. Anyway, she wasn’t the only questionable celeb walking the red carpet: The vapid, racist known as Paris Hilton and the non-biodegradable Kim and Kourtney Kardashian were also invited. I’m guessing to encourage kids that being famous is as easy as falling out of a rich vagina, being peed on or even just being related to someone who has been peed on. There’s really no criteria anymore which is why I’m already embracing Kid who Farts with His Armpit as our new celebrity overlord. That is, until he goes commercial and it’s no longer about the farts. “I was into him when he was just pissing me off at Starbucks,” I’ll earnestly say to everyone, chest puffed proud in my Cocoa Puffs T-shirt.

Photos: Getty, Splash News