Why Sinead O’Connor Probably Shouldn’t Have Married A Drug Counselor

“It’s all very simple, lad. Ya come in, have a coupla pataytohs, difficult me brown, then wipe yourself off with this towel the Good Lord draped around me arse. You’ll be home in time for suppah.”

When Sinead O’Connor married Barry Herridge it just seemed like your classic case of boy meets girl on the Internet who’s really open to anal sex. Turns out it’s sounding more and more like a drug counselor who had a massive relapse only to wake up married to a middle-aged former lesbian with Jesus tattooed above her tits and a butt that wasn’t going to sex itself. The Sun reports:

The mum of four claimed the marriage was sabotaged early on by the “interference of certain people”.
But she admitted Herridge had been left “frightened” by her mad search for cannabis on the night they got married.
She said: “We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous.
“I wasn’t scared — but he’s a drugs counsellor. What was I thinking?
“Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened — that kind of messed everything up a bit really.”

So wait, wait, wait: Basically the gist of this entire story is that Sinead O’Connor is an insane drug addict and that’s probably why she’s so into butt doing it? Excuse me for a minute.

Note to Self: Hang out at Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Prepare to uneasy some browns. End Note.

Welp, my holiday’s planned…

Photos: Splash News