“It’s all very simple, lad. Ya come in, have a coupla pataytohs, difficult me brown, then wipe yourself off with this towel the Good Lord draped around me arse. You’ll be home in time for suppah.”
When Sinead O’Connor married Barry Herridge it just seemed like your classic case of boy meets girl on the Internet who’s really open to anal sex. Turns out it’s sounding more and more like a drug counselor who had a massive relapse only to wake up married to a middle-aged former lesbian with Jesus tattooed above her tits and a butt that wasn’t going to sex itself. The Sun reports:
The mum of four claimed the marriage was sabotaged early on by the “interference of certain people”.
But she admitted Herridge had been left “frightened” by her mad search for cannabis on the night they got married.
She said: “We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous.
“I wasn’t scared — but he’s a drugs counsellor. What was I thinking?
“Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened — that kind of messed everything up a bit really.”
So wait, wait, wait: Basically the gist of this entire story is that Sinead O’Connor is an insane drug addict and that’s probably why she’s so into butt doing it? Excuse me for a minute.
Note to Self: Hang out at Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Prepare to uneasy some browns. End Note.
Welp, my holiday’s planned…
Photos: Splash News
Should I feel sorry for these 2 massively fucked up people, or just laugh my ass off?
This scenario is too stupid to deserve anything more than derisive laughter.
cock, laugh your ass off, then make a reference to daft bull dyke drug dumpster short-haired lesbians. there. done.
Well then, at least now we know for certain she’s going to hell.
No shit? If this became the script for the gang in Hangover 2 for Part 3 I would definitely watch it!
http://videogum.com/439081/uhh-did-you-guys-know-about-this-kris-jenner-music-video/music-related-content/
I don’t know how to send you in emails but around minute 3:19 OJ Simpson shows up.
There’s 4 minutes and 9 seconds of my life I WON’T get back…
All that’s missing is to add a flashback lead in “now if I would have know a sex tape would make me famous….”
“Prepare to uneasy some browns.”
I just threw up a little.
Thank you.
There once was a girl named Sinead,
Who took out an ad to get laid:
‘Twas in the local paper,
No worries he’d rape her,
‘Tis a wonder she didn’t offer to pay.
“I’m a bald four-foot lass, of openminded ass,
But the requisite penis I lack.
I’ve looked all over town,
For the difficult brown,
Please only the hirsute write back.”
The waiting was hell, but she stocked up on gel,
And bought pot as it’s easier high.
But Sinead started to cry at this crisp short reply,
Knowing she’d have to return to the well.
“It would prove quite a test,
With that Christ on your chest,
Though all I would see is your back.
But I’d need be lobotomized before I could sodomize,
A dyke Christian priestess on crack.”
This.
Amazing
Your efforts are appreciated.
I’m tone deaf and can’t do it, but could you actually sing this poem to the tune of “nothing compares 2 you”?
Nothing compares 2 this poem!
God forbid…I appreciate the inspired writing, but I don’t want to be reminded of that song…ever.
“I’d need be lobotomized before I could sodomize
a dyke Christian priestess on crack.”
Poetry AND Truth. formidable.
Holy crap, LMAO…
Last two lines are EPIC….
Well played, MSCTX…
Given the popularity of this poem, I guess I shouldn’t be a wet blanket and point out that Sinéad’s not Christian but a Rastafarian. Yes, Rastas believe in Jesus. They also believe marijuana is some kind of sacrament, which may explain her wedding night.
Don’t you just think that Sinead groped around until she found a religion (pardon me, movement) that supported her drug habit?
Looks like the start of a legal defense if she’s busted at the airport with drugs. And a horrible and stupid tattoo is nothing to a drug addict.
“Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.”
E. B. White
So this one’s not only been married before, she’s got 4 kids? Hey Jennifer Aniston – have you caught on yet? It’s time to start advertising you’re receptive to the butt action.
whoopie, a massive FU for comparing Sinead to Jennifer.
shame on you. I MEAN!
Excuse me was that intervention or interference?
Sinead O’Connor – THE poster child for how drugs make you stupid.
Sinead figured if Kim Kardashian could cash her sham marriage for 22 million, then no would mind her fake nuptials to financing about a month of crack to feed her habit.
So…Jim Norton is a panhandling woman?
Still a better love story than Twilight.
I still love her, at least she has talent.
Ah “potatoes”..I’d shove one up the arse of who ever keeps recycling these fucking jokes.
PS what the fucking Christ is “suppah”?
So do you go straight to hell if, after giving Sinead the difficult brown, you give Jesus a pearl necklace?
Freedom from. Freedom poo!
nice prison tattoos, you orange bitch.
The problem is after you get married in Vegas they hand you a few complimentary chips. Why the fuck didn’t she tie the knot in Jamaica with a ganja wedding bouquet or maybe a tasteful matrimonial butt-plug made of ganja?
please folks: HELP THIS WOMAN.
Since she’s incoherent most of the time and has an empty asshole that needs to be filled and you’re a giant incoherent asshole who thinks he’s fulfilling a need, I suggest you take your own advice and step up.
Talk about a match made in heaven…
ffs sinead.
at least beat the tar out of a pap or something.
“Prepare to uneasy some browns” next to pics of Sinead O’Connor…
Who’s going to clean the vomit off my keyboard?
Gimme them muscle relaxers. Seabiscuit just arrived!
I always wondered what it would be like if Aushwitz had better food.
has there every been a better sentence fragment than “…difficult me brown…”? I doubt it.
I wonder if when she warms up her voice before concerts, she says “How now difficult brown cow”?
Can we just ban this creature. I hate the sensation of wanting to gouge out my eyes