Why Is Justin Bieber At The Beach With Jerry Sandusky?

January 9th, 2012 // 47 Comments

“I don’t see how biting my nipple will make me tougher, Coach, but you’re the boss.”

Here’s Justin Bieber running around Cabo with a “family friend” as his bathing suit threatens to reveal the Holy Maple Twig of Syrupgotha at the first crash of a wave. So for comedy’s sake, let’s assume this dude is Jerry Sandusky and he’s teaching Justin how to be a hardass so dudes stop making fun of him.

JERRY: Alright, Justin, now the first step to earning a man’s respect is wrestling him naked behind a sand dune.
JUSTIN: Sure thing, coach!
JERRY: Wow. You’re not even going to question that?
JUSTIN: Golly willikers, coach, why would I do that?
JERRY: I prayed my whole life for a boy like you… *wipes tear* And here you are, excuse me…

Photos: Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this kid not have pubes? At 18???

  2. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    jeffiner
    Commented on this photo:

    my 4 year old holds his wee-wee like that too. means he’s got to pee.

  3. Absinthe

    Boys will be boys ;)

  4. So, uh… slow news day?

  5. I think Sandusky would probably avoid any little boy with a Jesus tattoo, but I could be wrong.

  6. Rick

    They say all girls go through a daddy phase.

  7. tits mcgee

    Present day… 30 years later.

    Who knew standing next to an old fart would make JB look bangable?

  8. Johnny P!

    He’s rehearsing for the biographical movie that’ll rival Eminem’s “10 Mile” and give him street cred.
    Bieber’s is called “2 Mile”.

  9. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Whats with the neck dude?

  10. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice awkward neck!

  11. umm, the old guy with Justin Bieber is his bodyguard!! Must be a slow day for news! If you cant figure out what to write about, then dont write nothing at all!! Especially as saying this kind of crap!!

    • This^^ = “Justin!! Leave Selena and marry ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 xoxo”

    • weewee

      Yeah! “dont write nothing at all!!!”

    • hmna

      Shouldn’t the bodyguard look like he can do more than have a heart attack and keel over in front of potential attackers?

      • kathy

        So, you are saying just because the guy is a bit overweight, that he cant be a good bodyguard? Whatever, im sure the bodyguard will make more money than you will ever make in your lifetime, so im sure he will be just fine!

    • weewee

      Um, hey Kathy…how about the freaky shot of him pulling down his swimsuit – bet you’re just squirting across the room over that, aren’t ya??

      • kathy

        excuse me weewee, (geat name by the way, is that your dick size?) When did i say i had the hots for Bieber? All i said was that was his bodyguard, since these newspaper people thought they came up with a clever story, i wanted to point out the truth! and ask why they needed to write a story at all, if they think this story was funny in any way!

    • “…newspaper people…”? Sorry, Kathy… you’ve clearly been misled by the high journalistic standards of this site.

  12. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Nunya bidnez
    Commented on this photo:

    Eat shit and die you lemmings

  13. Alex

    Wow. Frail comes to mind.

  14. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww

  15. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Commented on this photo:

    If it’s any consolation, I’m sure his dick is smaller than Usher’s.

  16. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Lee
    Commented on this photo:

    he shaves you goofs.

  17. whiskeyafternoon

    some boys, you know, aren’t very hygienic and need to be shown how to shower with proper technique.

    • Schmidtler

      seriously – can a young boy’s anus ever really be clean enough?

      hmm, as funny as that seemed when i typed it, now i’m overcome with the urge to burn my keyboard.

  18. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anybody know how i can un-see this?

    • weewee

      FUCKIN A!!! Just bizarre and disturbing. Who the FUCK does this??? Been on the beach quite a bit, never seen a dude (?) doing this. What a frikkin sociopath.

  19. Faust

    ?…… dumb story.

  20. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    baloo
    Commented on this photo:

    think of how much energy this kid could save in a year if he wasn’t pulling up his pants every other second…imagine…he might be able to lift a mountain with that extra energy.

  21. Frank Burns

    Cub, do you have a moment please
    To give this bear just one small squeeze?
    Cuz bears and cubs need hugs to live…
    So don’t you have just one to give?

  22. tumble weed

    jerry aske BeeWeeBieber if he could do a blowljob to please him.(he is a paedophile)
    ……………..HE AGREED.

  23. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to be ashamed of my bird-like chest when I was 12, too

  24. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    JMort
    Commented on this photo:

    Sick. Now I wish I was dead

  25. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    BARB
    Commented on this photo:

    WERE IS SELENA??

  26. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    wondering
    Commented on this photo:

    who’s the old fat guy?

  27. stop making crap up

    what the fuck thats a lie JB is not f***** gay

  28. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this shot the toxin that made the SW server sick again?
    What’s the matter with the damned thing? It didn’t used to be so delicate.

  29. Justin Bieber Shirtless Old Man
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to Pamela Anderson’s rescue board? And her tits?

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