Why Is Joanna Krupa Hiding Her Butt?

Since we’re never going to start asking serious questions about the practically daily shootings happening in this country, I figured the least we could do is solve the almost equally as important mystery of how the hell Joanna Krupa appeared in two agency-exclusive bikini sets, yet not once was her ass photographed from behind. What is she hiding back there? Directorate S codes? Tracy Morgan’s amputated leg? The real Bowe Bergdahl? Call me a dreamer, but I’d like to see our boners count for something. Although, in fairness, I sometimes use mine to direct traffic. Those kids need to get on that bus safely.

Photos: Pacific Coast News