Why Hello, Lacey Schwimmer.. No, Over Here and Other News

August 8th, 2011 // 57 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Rob McElhenney got fat for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia for reasons that sound awfully hipster-ish, but I’ll let it slide for now. [Huffington Post]

- Jane Fonda on the other hand, ain’t having it. [Starpulse]

- David Beckham‘s daughter will forever be in his clavicle? [Dlisted]

- Tyra Banks‘s novel about modeling is set — I’ll just stop here. [Lainey Gossip]

- Irina Shayk picking up the dog shit that you would eat for one night of vodka-soaked sex with her. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t helping New York City tourism at all with these shenanigans. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- Charlize Theron is cold. I can tell because I’m a detective. [Popoholic]

- The cops put the kibosh on Big Boi‘s psychedelic sex marathon. [IDLYITW]

- Evidence of Jennifer Lopez‘s love of large penis continues to pile up. [The Fab Life]

- Tiger Woods‘s public image may take a hit if this guy doesn’t shut up. [Bossip]

- Taylor Swift won’t regret banging John Mayer when she’s 80. [Popsugar]

- Roland Emmerich‘s movie about Shakespeare is super-Roland Emmerichy. [FilmDrunk]

- If ever there was a sign of America’s dire future, it’s Ashton Kutcher singing a Katy Perry song while receiving his Teen Choice Award. [TooFab]

- Okay, most of these signs fall into the same category. [theCHIVE]

- Miles Fisher finds a way to make Final Destination 5 watchable. (Still not seeing it.) [BuzzFeed]

- The 20 Hottest Photos of Esti Ginzburg [Heavy]

- The Best (and Worst) Facial Hair in Sports: Lamar Odom and Kris Humphries automatically disqualified because their wives shave more than they do. [Bleacher Report]

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Photo: WENN


  1. Roughed in translation

    aw Fuck! Ive lost my crush to peer pressure. Shes trying to get a booty. I was just about to go on a hunger strike too, over her banning.

  2. Deacon Jones

    If this woman wasn’t fondled when she was 7, then I give up.

    My “slut-o-meter”‘s glass cover just exploded and a spring hit me in the eye.

    • Cock Dr

      Wear some eye protection when you work that thing on this site.
      You know it’s going to bust open like that day after day.

  3. Lion O

    She looked way better with dark hair.

  4. pretty eyes and bangin bod, but FAIL on fotog for skipping the ass shot i bet it’s sweet in spandex

  5. Roughed in translation

    Who do i blame for this? dancing with the stars? coco? I’m still hypnotize Lacey, but you have to hit the gym my sweet also remain who you are…

  6. SSHGuru

    David got a sex change?

  7. Facebook Me

    Are her googly eyes match her boob job, now that would be a HOOT!
    Epic fail for the plastic surgeon.

  8. me

    I’m guessing from the last series of photos of her that someone’s been to the surgeon……

  9. woah

    Hello, manface!

  10. JesusCan'tHitACurveball

    It’s like her boobs have Groucho Marx eyebrows made of flesh…

  11. She was so much prettier and natural when she was a brunette. Now she looks like she’s trying too hard to be sexy with the clown makeup, peroxide and bolt-ons.

  12. Lemmiwinks

    The “Okay, most of these signs fall into the same category. [theCHIVE]” link is definitely worth checking out.

  13. Richard McBeef

    Pretty sure Lacey Schwimmer is just David Schwimmer in drag.

  14. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like Madeline Kahn and Coco had a baby.

  15. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Captain Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does this guy have a chicks name?

  16. Roughed in translation

    She needs to stop with the boobs and butts and take a more modest route like a society girl type body. The bimboness is just tacky. I’m resigning for the day, this is too much.

  17. Cock Dr

    Reminds me of a Tori Spelling little sister. That is not a good thing.
    She is wearing a garter belt OUTSIDE the pants with the garters just dangling. That is a seriously stupid look.
    Work that underbite baby. Work it all.

  18. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww she has Tito Ortiz syndrome

  19. Ummmmm.....

    This thing looks just like an inflatable sex doll, but ya know, less lifelike.

  20. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone’s tired of seeing Kym Johnson win.

  21. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    If she is going for that look, girl needs to go big or go home.

    Front on she looks like Coco’s over-developed sister. But those things are so pushed up that side on she’s barely breaking out of her first training bra.

  22. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her better as a brunette.
    Blonde makes her look washed out.

    Bet she’s a beast in bed, though.

  23. Savant

    This is why I’ll never take this site’s writer seriously, this tragic Rumer Willis chubbified mess is considered hot while actual good looking celebs are trashed.

  24. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Karl Pilkington saw her in Gran Canaria.

  25. zomgbie

    i’ll have a coke + vodka please ty.

  26. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT ASS.

  27. whatsmyface

    Hey, you, with the fucking face!

  28. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly saline, over the muscle. In my expert opinion I’d wager 450cc.

  29. Protesting DWT*'s rough hiatus policies

    And you wonder why the stock market took a dive right?. Hopefully the new pics will redeem the damaged you’ve done.

    • Protesting DWT*'s rough hiatus policies

      Proofreading $10 an hour still open. I think the size zero waist demand is scaring any takers.

  30. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    that is just an awful outfit!!!! and does nothing for her!

  31. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    When she was on SYTYCD wasn’t she like some virginal Mormon girl or something? Now she’s got tattoos and implants. How times change. I guess she’s not so Mormon anymore.

  32. Gerald Tarrant

    Madame Tusseaud’s already made a wax replica of this chick?

  33. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    hmmmmmmmm. …shoving your poorly done cans into a bra made using a zipper, coke cans and a glue gun does not a hot girl make.
    ps…looks like your mascara attacked your face – why are there black smudges everywhere??

  34. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Austin Powers is about to throw a lit cigarette into her mouth.

  35. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit when I seen her on dwts, she seemed pretty down to earth and a really hot fucking dancer!

  36. me

    Nothing says “natural” like boobs up to the collar bone – sexy!

  37. dontlooknow

    Shades of Heidi Montag! Just what we need…

  38. dotmatrix

    Wait a minute! Has Lacey ever been seen in the same room as Brooke Hogan?

  39. dontkillthemessenger

    I would hit that repeatedly… until her next client showed up.

  40. Rockem

    This is just fugs!

  41. Martina

    so she’s the one who recommended plastic surgery for Heidi Montag … or was it the other way around?

  42. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    did this outfit require a zipper?

    • TomFrank

      Yes. Yes, it does. I think I speak for every guy who’s ever fumbled to undo a chick’s bra when I say that.

  43. cc

    Standard pleasure model.

  44. cc

    Coming soon to your mechanic’s wall calendar.

  45. the one


  46. Dr Ha-Ha

    The never-brought-into-production Cherry 1999 model.

  47. anonym

    bit o manface.

    that schwimmer last name doesn’t help either.

  48. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    Who ever she is, she looks f*ckin good!

  49. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    trashtastic…when’s the sex tape with DJ coming out, Lacey?

  50. Lacey Schwimmer Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    While I like her for her defense of Chaz and the LGTB community in general…this look is just bad. For those debating whether she’s “chunky” or not…look at that bra rollover. And on other pics in this outfit, the back muffin top. Can’t compare her to regular folks – I have *ahem* problem areas, which I don’t wear clothes that magnify those faults.

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