Why Charlie Sheen Really Joined Twitter

The Superficial / March 3, 2011

On Tuesday, Charlie Sheen suddenly had a verified Twitter account within a matter of hours despite Twitter moving away from the verification process that typically takes days if not weeks to complete. Shortly after joining, he immediately reached over one million followers thanks to spending all day Monday either giving the most-coked out interviews of his life or having a manic episode, whichever you believe, although it’s probably both. Since then, despite being touted as a “phenomenon,” his Twitter account has been remarkably anti-climactic unless you enjoy pictures of hot dogs, because now Charlie is forced to be the creative force he’s proclaimed himself as. (According to him, he created Two and a Half Men and runs the entire show all by himself.) At any rate, Internet startup Ad.ly gave an interview with Ad Age yesterday explaining how they brokered the deal with Twitter to get Charlie an account as fast as possible. While they attempted to sell it as him connecting directly with his fans and having “his voice” heard, the overall impression was he found out you get $10,000 a tweet for ads. So of course this happened this morning on TMZ:

Charlie Sheen told TMZ … the reason he’s taken up Twitter is simple — it’s a “cash cow.”
Sheen told us … his primary motivation behind the new ramblings is that he can score a fortune through advertising. To give this some context, Kim Kardashian is reportedly pulling in $10,000 per tweet.

After watching hundreds of sad clowns attempt to be Internet badasses by praising Charlie as “The Man” and “a legend” who’s going to “tell it like is” on Twitter, I’ve put a lot of thought into coming up with my response to this latest development that everyone should’ve seen coming because coke and live-in hookers are expensive. So here goes:

SUCKERS.

Adding… Yes, The Superficial run ads, but I don’t tout myself as the Tiger Blood Jesus bringing nothing but winning truth to the masses. Like any publication or broadcast, this site requires revenue to keep the lights on. Charlie Sheen, on the other hand, is a millionaire actor who just fleeced every single one of you rubes. He’s become Kim Kardashian with a drug habit. On that note: This is how you really respect your fans on Twitter.

Photos: Getty