Oh, good. The Whore Parade’s back.

February 19th, 2010 // 133 Comments

Apparently Joslyn James was the starting shot because several of Tiger Woods’ mistresses are already lining up TV appearances to give their response to today’s press conference/expressionless script-reading. Here’s Jamie Jungers talking to E! News pushing a theme we probably should start getting used to: “He didn’t even say my name!” Of course, in fairness to Tiger, I doubt he remembers a single one. Christ, there’s like 90:

On mistresses having feelings, too:
“He’s apologizing to these young kids…everybody but the women that were involved in the relationships. It’s hurtful. It’s rude. He should have apologized to the people like myself, his mistresses, because we’re dealing with a lot of stuff too.”

On Elin Woods:
“Once a cheater always a cheater. Is Elin going to stay with him? I would say no, but I don’t have kids with him. He would have to do a lot prove you can trust him again. He needs to go to rehab. He should have never got married. He should have never had kids.”

On being a home-wrecking whore:
“I’m not a home-wrecking whore. If it was up to me I would have never done it in the first place, but I was young and stupid. Of course I’m going to feel guilty…I have a heart. But it was years ago. I shouldn’t be the one to be blamed for it. He had lied to me about so many things. Everybody makes mistakes.”

On wanting a personal apology from Tiger:
“Enough has been said and done. I don’t want to discuss it. I don’t want to be known as Tiger Woods’ mistress my whole life. I don’t want him to contact me or address it. I don’t think I would say anything to him. I want it to be done.”

Of course, Jamie Jungers wants it to be over with. She’s simply getting paid to party at all those nightclubs because she’s so pretty. Sort of like how Tiger banged for her mind.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Sheila E

    A. She’s a high as a kite.

    B. I am scared to see what she’ll look like in ten years. Scared. Very scared.

    C. She is 100% not classy, basically a tramp and a skank; that’s what she projects. To think that is what Tiger spent his time on is freaking unbelievable.

    D. That whores are demanding apologies from married men means I guess that society as I know is completely and totally over and done with.

    E. I would give anything to see the sponsor’s faces when they found out Elin wasn’t going to be there. HA H AH AH HAH AH HAHhAhHA ha Best moment in golf history.

    F. Tiger is a dirt bag. What you do, that is, your actions ARE your core values. It’s easy to have morales when there’s no temptation. It’s what you do with temptation in your face that really shows your character. So Tiger, do NOT talk to me about you straying from your moral core. ’cause it’s all b.s.

    G. I will never look at him the same way again; what a dirty slut Tiger is. Gross. Disgusting. And I always thought his on course temper tantrums were very immature.

    H. I think Tiger hates his life and he let it implode on purpose. He probably hates playing golf more than life itself. Now that’s irony ; )

    .
    G.

  2. I call 'em as I see 'em

    What IS that thing? Is it human? …Doesn’t look it.
    And who CARES what it thinks?
    Oh, and it better get out it’s trowel, cause it’s lipgloss isn’t heavy enough.

  3. meluvzchocolate

    “Enough has been said and done. I don’t want to discuss it. I don’t want to be known as Tiger Woods’ mistress my whole life. I don’t want him to contact me or address it. I don’t think I would say anything to him. I want it to be done.”

    Well guess what hun. It IS over. So, um, what are you still doing here?

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