Ha! Just kidding. I’m such a scamp.
Here’s Jordan Carver on the set of Who Killed Johnny?, an independent film about a group of aspiring filmmakers who stumble upon the lifeless body of Johnny Depp (Played by an impersonator.) and decide to make it star in their movies because pornos are getting way too elaborate now. Apparently calling this thing “Johnny Deep” is too pedestrian for today’s avant garde pornographer. “Okay, now, Johnny, when you’re pulling her hair, that’s letting the audience know that the strings of government and commerce are pulled exclusively by the elite, and the naked midget with an erection is just a naked midget with an erection. Haha! His balls look like peanut M&Ms.”
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, WENN
Eww…so what’s next in dead porn, A Weekend in Bernie?
To save money on wardrobe, they just went ahead and made his character a gay cowboy eating pudding.
Mmmm, fresh, tasty, natural… water.
Looks like a Johnny Depp impersonator to me…
And *now* I see the photo captions saying as much. Ignore, please.
good lord…those are “arthritic hands” big
If she had gotten the next size up she would need a wheelbarrow.
Goddamn!
I have to say…the impersonator NAILED IT!
is she dropping a deuce?
“psst – you’ve got big boobies”
So, is he channeling Keith Richards or Hunter S. Thompson? I can never be sure.
Since he’s become the King of Douches, and since he lives/ spends most of his time in France (or did for years when he was with Vanessa Paradis), I say we take the douche thing to the next level.
I crown him: Johnny Bidet…
There is nothing I hate more than porn with a plot and characters. Just shut up and get to fuckin’.
I don’t want to make a film where they show up, sit down, jack off and get up and get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film that the story sucks them in. And when they spurt out that joy juice…they just got to sit in it. They can’t move until they find out how the story ends. I want to make a film like that. And I understand they have to make films. I’ve made them myself that are a few laughs, everybody fucks their brains out. And that’s fine. But it’s my dream to make a film that is true, and right…and dramatic.
Weeds :)
There’s shadows in life babe.
Dammit, TF, you lost me from the beginning. Is that a weeds reference like Sheppy said?
No, it’s a Boogie Nights reference.
It’s a real film, Frank.
Those are my thoughts exactly, Kimmy. I’m currently watching “Pornstar Superheroes” and my fast forward button is getting a pretty good workout on that one.
Not only that, some of the girls in the movie, who are well known for doing anal, don’t do any anal in their scenes. WTF? That’s bullshit.
Yeah, that is bullshit. What else pisses me off is when the girl spits. I just think/say, you stupid, cunt, you just sucked that dude’s dick AFTER he stuck it in your ass but you can’t swallow?! Dumb sluts.
And I know this all sounds very gross and unladylike of me but, whatever, begin with thumbing down. Yes, I’m a woman, yes, I watch porn and I don’t like the boring shit. Go ahead and judge.
You’re perfect, baby. I also hate spitting. Swallow that shit. It’s the reward for all your hard work.
Johnny: “You don’t know who Marlon Brando is? Marlon. Brando. Seriously?”
Jordan: “Untie this top and I’ll marlon your brando.”
Johnny: “Call the Academy. We have ourselves a star!”
Thank You kindly for the water ma’am. Now I best be getting back on the trail.
“I’m a cowboy.”
Johnny Depp impersonator, or Johnny Depp as a Johnny Depp Impersonator? Deppceptive Deppception.
Stupid cunt only shows 95% of her tit here or anywhere. She got a problem with her nipples. Cock tease.
I don’t count it as seeing breats unless I see a nipple. Cause I could see every other part of the boob in a fucking magazine they sell to teenagers. I want some fucking nipples.
Johnny?! I immediately thought it was Katt Williams…. shame, poor Katt… what’s he up to these days? :)
Wow, she looks really…smart.
She should stick to eating foot-long hot dogs, or else make with the naked.
Mmmm something looks too Mexican here….
“Seriously, those aren’t real are they?”
The Denise Milani of Germany.
Never shows the goods.
Check out the Project on Kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/whokilledjohnny/who-killed-johnny-a-tragic-euro-trash-comedy