Who Grabbed Terry Crews’ Balls?

As the avalanche of women continue to bury Harvey Weinstein in allegations, this whole sexual harassment thing has opened up an even bigger can of beans in Hollywood. Terry Crews, notable for his Nostradamus-like portrayal of President Camacho in Idiocracy, has come forward as a victim of sexual harassment by an unnamed Hollywood executive. According to Crews, this “head honcho” walked right up to him at a party and sampled the produce in his pants, right in front of his wife.

Terry’s account claims that he restrained himself from stomping this dude’s ass for the exact same reason that women didn’t speak out against Harvey Weinstein for decades… fear.

Brace yourselves for more people coming forward to talk about sexual harassment in the near future because it’s just a big enough hot-button issue to get our minds off of gun control for a second. Remember when we were all mad about gun control like a week ago? After that guy shot all those innocent people? Yea, we’ve moved on to employer-employee groping. Stay with me, people.

It’s not really a joke though. People have known for years that Hollywood executives have been running a no holds barred meat circus, but only now has shit started to hit the fan. A majority of the victims are women, of course, but men (and kids) are often preyed upon as well. Whoever touched Corey Feldman is probably making arrangements to disappear at a moments notice… if Corey Feldman ever finds his missing tooth, of course.