Who Gave Lena Dunham A Dog In The First Place?

About a month ago Lena Dunham aired out how hard it is to be Lena Dunham on Instagram (again) by sharing that she was returning her beloved yet stupidly named dog ‘Lamby’ to the shelter she picked it up from. She wrote this big sob story about how the dog had a history of abuse and how she tried her gosh-diddly-darndest to get it up to snuff (I guess up to sniff would be more fitting here – LOL dogs are great ammirite?), but the dog just couldn’t handle her intense love and kept shitting on people’s kashmir.

Now the shelter just deepthroated Yahoo in an email claiming that Lena is full of shit and that dog was just about as dog as dog can be in regards to being a dog and it was her fault it wound up learning to act like a little bastard… dog.

A spokesperson for BARC Shelter in Brooklyn — where Dunham adopted Lamby in January 2013 before going on to make the dog a star by detailing his adoption in a New Yorker article, showing him off in magazine spreads like Vogue, and spotlighting him on her Instagram feed — has a different story though. For starters, the pet didn’t have a long history of abuse prior to Lena bringing him home.

“We checked the records for Lamby,” Robert Vazquez told Yahoo Celebrity via email. “He was ‘owner surrendered, not enough time,’ so we do not know where she got ‘multiple owners that abused the dog.’” (In her New Yorker piece from March 2013, Dunham said the dog had “three other homes, three other names, but now he’s mine mine mine.”)

At the time of his adoption by the star, the dog was just 1 “nearing 2-years-old” — and he didn’t have a history of being aggressive. “When she adopted the dog from us, it wasn’t crazy,” Vazquez continued. “I have pictures of the dog loving on Lena and her mom, which is weird if the dog was abused. It wouldn’t be cuddling with her or be in the bed with her ‘boyfriend’ in the pages of Vogue.”

Vazquez says he personally was there the four times Lena visited Lamby prior to the adoption “because I’ve been in-charge of the dogs for the last 14-15 years at BARC. If Lamby had a bad past or was abused, do you think BARC would have adopted him to Lena knowing she’s a new star and put her — or the dog — in that situation? We would have told her if the dog had issues. We are a no-kill shelter. We don’t lie about the dogs’ histories because that gets them returned — and mentally it’s not good for dogs.”

Lena has previously said the dog’s aggression started immediately. In the New Yorker piece, she wrote that despite Jack’s allergies to dogs, she adopted Lamby anyway. Things were fine at first — because Jack wasn’t there — but the first night the singer met the dog, the dog bit him. In 2014, she posted an Instagram photo of her blood-stained panties after she said the dog bit her in the rear. She tweeted that it was the second time Lamby bit her (both times the dog became upset because Lena was “sobbing”). After the incident made headlines, she posted again about how the “special-need rescue dog” was working with “an amazing trainer.”

The BARC rep said, “It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

So what is this… what’s going on here? Is BARC trying to cover their ass from selling a shitty dog to a high profile client? Or perhaps Lena Dunham is simply fabricating yet another story to make her seem like the victim again?

Lena obviously responded to Vazquez like an adult and not a whiny narcissist who isn’t getting her way, via Instgram:

It’s come to my attention that the staff at the shelter where I adopted Lamby have a very different account of his early life and behavioral issues than I do. While I’m sorry to have disappointed them, I can’t apologize. Lamby was and is one of the great loves of my life. When I met him I knew we’d have an amazing journey. But his aggression – which was unpredictable- and his particular issues, which remain myriad, weren’t manageable, at least not by me. I did what I thought the best mother would do, which was to give him a life that provided for his specific needs. He’d been with me for nearly four years and I was his mom- I was in the best position to discern what those needs were. After countless hours of training, endless financial support and a lot of tears he was given access to a better life. I still support him financially and I’ll always be there for him in every way but he’s notably happier in his new surroundings. Why should this story be subject to scrutiny and anger? It is willfully misunderstanding the truth. I hope those judging can imagine the incredible pain of letting go of your favorite creature on EARTH because you know you can’t help them be healthy and happy. I would never say an unkind word about the staff of BARC, what they do is amazing and life saving for these animals- but we have different accounts of Lamby’s behavior and they were not present in my home nor did they live with him for an extended period. They did not witness the consistent and responsible care I provided. I have weathered a lot of micro-scandals but this one hurts MOST, because of the vulnerability of letting people know Lamby and my story, and because I miss him so damn much. This is the painting that greets me every day when I walk into my home. This is the animal who taught me about loving and letting go. I know I’m a lot of fun to place your issues on, but I won’t let anyone hang their hat on this peg. Not this time.

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

“I can’t be a bad mother! Look at this horrible painting I had done by my favorite artiste [hamburger emoji]!”

My favorite quote is: “After countless hours of training, endless financial support and a lot of tears he was given access to a better life.”

I’ve been around my fair share of puppers in my life and I’m pretty sure dogs don’t give two neighbor’s lawn shits about their net worth or any financial support for that matter. I’m not sure if she dropped off Lamby at a shelter or sent him for a post-grad semester at Cornell. Lena is the victim here though, guys- those assholes at that no-kill dog shelter are just trying to make her look like a bitch.