Whitney Port in a bikini

January 12th, 2009 // 61 Comments

Here’s Whitney Port filming scenes in Miami for her new reality show The City, and wow, this is exactly like real life. I mean, a dude in a black T-Shirt always randomly appears to tell me what to say and to whom. Wait, here he comes now. Drink at my desk until I make out with the stapler? On it! Seriously, that guy is awesome and definitely not a figment of my imagination if you don’t count the fact he’s a giant squirrel with wings.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. p0nk

    fish guy must get paid to name drop ‘The Hills’ at least once a week.

    wtf is this?

  2. Yow

    First!

  3. Superevil

    meh

  4. meee

    any girl with real boobs bigger than an A cup should not wear a bandeau top. it automatically makes your boobs look saggy.

  5. I Want My MTV Back!

    Man, “The City” is so fake that Whitney Port isn’t even really white. She’s actually a light-skinned Black girl from the South Bronx. Her real name is Shaquanda. It’s amazing what you can do in post nowadays.

    But seriously, how does one get a job directing these post-Laguna Beach MTV shows? Do you just have to be a shitty director who doesn’t know how to work with actors so that the performances have that patented “this is so lame it MUST be real” glaze to them. It fascinates me. Obviously scripted programming that pushes for shitty flat acting on purpose, that’s dumbfounding. Someone is actually getting paid for this.

  6. UnderRoo

    Wow…she’s all-o-dat-and-a-bag-o-chips and a milkshake, and a quarter pounder with extra bacon and cheese, etc. Some might argue that she’s healthy, I say she’s bouyant.

    WTF with the strapless top? ALWAYS make titties go south. BAD. Probably doesn’t shave down their either.

  7. Anthony

    Nice bow on the side of your head, you average bore.

  8. Veenus Envy

    That girl Oliva on the City is super hot. Get pics of her on this site. She is the “Heidi” of The City.

  9. lisa

    so cute!

  10. Ted Mosby

    She’s got a good rack.

  11. Rodolfo

    I don’t know who the fuck that is and have never heard of those shows.

  12. I Want My MTV Back!

    #8 Olivia Palmero is sooooo much more interesting than this crappy show makes her out to be. In the real world she’s a wannabe socialite who’s been the center of controversies and has been on the cover of New York Magazine a few times in the past few years. They could actually fire Whitney Port and reboot the show centering it around Olivia’s actual life and it would be ten times more captivating and authentic as far as portraying life in Manhattan. Kinda like how they got rid of Lisa Bonet in the second season of A Different World and centered it around Jasmine Guy’s character. God, I’m old.

  13. didn’t she lie about something to get some press time?

  14. big teeth

    I don’t know who Whitney Port is, but I do know who breasts is! Niiiiiccee!

  15. I Want My MTV Back!

    #13 yeah, she’s an attention whore. Someone supposedly pretended to be her in an email so she sued them and got a website shut down. It’s petty spoiled rich girl bullshit but at least it’s authentic and would make much better television especially with it being more cemented it the actual environment they’re trying so hard to synthesize. A show centered around a villain is much more interesting than one centered around a dumb hero no matter how cute she is.

  16. Trizfay

    DEAR CELEBRITY BLOGS,

    NOBODY CARES ABOUT “______ IN A BIKINI.” I COULD GO TO THE BEACH TODAY AND SEE AT LEAST 50 GIRLS IN BIKINIS THAT LOOK BETTER THAN WHOEVER YOU’RE POSTING. STOP PADDING YOUR BLOG.

    IF I’M TOO LAZY TO DO THAT, GOOGLE WILL GIVE ME MORE AND BETTER BIKINI PICTURES THAN YOU EVER WILL.

    PLEASE STOP.

    SINCERELY,
    THE INTERWUBS

  17. Pastor Rick Warren

    After giving a fake name and taking Whitney to a motel room, I’d rambo fuck her like she’s never been fucked before, till she screams and claws for hours. As long as I dont have to listen to her talk,

    Then I go home to my wife Kay.

  18. Pastor Rick Warren

    I shouldn’t say this, but what the hell. I’d lick her butt hole and have a shit eating grin too.

    My wife doesn’t let me do those things so I am forced to seek out my desires.

  19. Guest

    @5 bahhhahaa you made me laugh.
    @6 go fuck yourself

    Yeah, Whitney used to be cool . . .
    she’s still gorgeous and beautiful
    and everybody should look like her,

    but her voice is annoying and
    nobody even watches her show.
    She’s just trying to get money by
    doing that show-it works, but it
    makes nobody like her.

    Shes GORGEOUS!!!

  20. justshoes

    Does anybody elses pictures sooo not work??

  21. Tapeworm

    What the fuck is a Whitney Port, and why do I care?

  22. I quick drinking ‘Whitney Port’ – gave me gas.
    Went back to Scotch – and the world is making less sense again.
    (Thank God)

  23. Danklin24

    This chick is the ultimate butterface. She’s got a nice rack and decent stomach but her face is a fucking trainwreck.

  24. devilsrain

    Why do these shows even exist. There was more interesting dialogue at the impound yard an hour ago than all the Hills episodes put together. Not that Ive watched all of them but I figure 3 minutes of people not really talking to each other probably sums up the whole show. These people should just die.

  25. Danklin24

    #19 you’re demented if you think this chick is gorgeous. She’s hot Tori Spelling syndrome. She looks hot from afar but up close you want to pour gas on her face and light it just so you can look at something more attractive.

  26. Danklin24

    #19 you’re demented if you think this chick is gorgeous. She’s got Tori Spelling syndrome. She looks hot from afar but up close you want to pour gas on her face and light it just so you can look at something more attractive.

  27. will

    You are so UNFUNNY.

  28. Raoul Duke

    Dear Superficial Writer,

    This is great, really, it is. Other sites, however, currently have pics of Whitney’s right nipple getting some old-fashioned exposure to sunlight. If I can’t count on you to break the story any, and every, time a Hills nipple gets photographed – then, damn it man, what do I have left in my life?

  29. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Very unremarkable, but fuckable….

  30. So. #22. What you twying to say here exactwee, with that link there ?
    I see you’ve brought in some sort of ‘ringer’ who’s read up on ‘gravity’ and such things. Where’s he twying to go with this ?
    Inside job ?

  31. vito

    I personally think she is a knockout. Those of you who don’t like her…that’s fine and dandy. Makes the odds better for those of us who do. (Keep dreaming, right?) And I’d bet my paycheck there are more who would eat the peanuts out of her shit than those who find her homely.

    And if it’s her voice that annoys you, put something in her mouth. I have yet to meet a woman who can suck dick and yap at the same time.

    As far as her tv show(s), who gives a fuck?! Never watched them and probably never will…unless she is appearing naked.

    Oh yeah, one more word…EYEGLASSES!

  32. lola richie

    I have not and will never watch her show. Since people like to complain about appearances on this site, then I will add my own 2 cents. Her legs are gross. They are shapeless sticks. And she is attractive, but she has the Hollywood / runway style of beauty where women look aspire for the bodies of gay men.

  33. So.
    My friend ‘Frank’ form 16th floor come over.
    He and his wife like ‘Mary Tyler Moore Show’ so we fire up pirate satellite.
    Unfortunwatlee – it was a repeat.
    It full moon today – so somehow we get stuck on ‘Countdown with Keith Olbermann.’ (We need upgrade system to Somali pirate satellite)
    And Keith is talking and then has a quick clip of the new pres talking to George Stephensomethingreekopalace.
    And George says to Pres B.O. : So.
    “No new 9/11 Commission with subpoena power ?”
    And then they cut. No further discussion…hummm…
    And ‘Frank’ from16th floor say -
    ‘Frank’ from 16th floor : What? Keith may get it ? and George ? Who knew ? But I wonder what they really twying to say here exactwee ?
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : Well. Obama says “No torture on his ‘watch. ‘”
    So. I figure he’s scored a deal with Swatch and the BANKERS over there – and screw Timex.
    ‘ Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’ will be part of the bailout – if they’re lucky.
    And if the ‘crack’ media doesn’t get a hold of this.

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  35. Julio

    How come the back piece of material (on the top piece of the
    bathing suit) doesn’t match up with the front?
    That just looks tacky like she sewed it herself and poorly.
    And why is she wearing those color earrings? They just really clash with the whole outfit.
    Don’t these people have stylists??!?!?!!

    justshoes- no unfortunately my pictures are working

  36. gorgehu1

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.

  37. gorgehu1

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.

  38. gorgehu1

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.

  39. Not really sure of your ‘points’, ‘perspective’ or ”reading comprehension” (as they say in the industry,) in the big scheme of things there # 34 – 38
    Glanced at the link ? Any challenge with the Architects and Engineers there with concepts like ‘gravity’ .. resistance’ – you know that type of thing. ?
    Comments ? Inside job ?

  40. those TITS………………………………………………………………HOW LOW!!

  41. nobody watches or pays attention to this shit, so please stop posting it..

    unless she is exceptionally hot, and if she is i dont want to know what crap tv she is featured in.

  42. So. azzman. #41
    You obviously seem like a real ‘intellectual.’
    Inside job ?
    Gerry #40 – Let’s facei it – Vector Motors is going to go ‘GM’ until we hear your answer to…

    …Inside job ?

  43. portthis

    Last time.

    THIS
    GIRL
    IS
    NOT
    ATTRACTIVE.

  44. Last Time…
    (Yeah right)
    Been There
    Done That.
    Hey wait a sec.
    We’re getting off topic here.
    Ok.
    “Ray Whitney’ was a hockey player.

  45. GG1000

    Whassup wit chu today, Superfish? Other sites have pictures of her slipping a nip while mucking with a mic and you’ve just got standard “sitting on a sun chair” stuff. When a breaking news event involving celebrity (well, OK, chicks in Los Angeles, let’s say – I don’t think she even makes the Z-list) nipplage happens, we count on the quality reporting we’ve come to expect from Superfish. Now get back out there and get us some tit and crotch pictures from famewhores, please.

  46. Ummm...yeah...

    WTF? Who the fuck is this walking sperm bank?Why do I give a flying fuck?
    Fuck you Fish, you get worse by the fucking year!

  47. gorgehu1

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because I have much of free time, and the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, special local product, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. such as theatrical costume, figure of Buddha, paper fan, produce made by cloth, porcelain, touring goods and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, or as agent in China. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc. Why not try it once? And the chance will be forever. While you will gain the best return.

  48. gorgehu1

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because I have much of free time, and the goods’ price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, special local product, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. such as theatrical costume, figure of Buddha, paper fan, produce made by cloth, porcelain, touring goods and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, or as agent in China. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc. Why not try it once? And the chance will be forever. While you will gain the best return.

  49. She is uncute and therefore should be pictured topless.

    #12 – Obsess much?

  50. Vote for me and I’ll suck your cock <3 xxx

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